Reviews for Our Little Hinata
Randomeotaku chapter 1 . 7/29/2014
Soooo...What now? Do they like, both date hinata? Is this where it was going. I'm so confused.
Zhura chapter 1 . 3/26/2014
Lemon!
pleae!
Lemon! .
XD
I feel like lemon is missing XD
anyways, I love the fic! really I loooooove it!
and nade me laugh XD
AuroraeCanta1432 chapter 1 . 2/22/2014
There's only one thing that was a bit annoying throughout the stories, and that was the quotation typos and there were a few periods missing. That is my only criticism (and I don't consider it "flaming" and it wasn't for spelling so there).
THIS STORY WAS SO COOL! I love the twist of "Liking Naruto for you two's attention." I'm probably gonna have to put that in my story somewhere because I have never thought of that and it's ingenious! There were so many parts where I just had to giggle and laugh at the OOC parts and the comments they made and stuff. So thank you for another great story!
Please, PLEASE don't add a lemon.
Yue Kinomoto chapter 1 . 2/6/2014
That was such a beautiful and wonderful story I almost wanted to cry. Definitely one of the best fanfics I've ever read! Thank you for writing this. I loved this pairing very much.
pika4.5.10 chapter 1 . 10/15/2013
lemon!
libbyluvmilongtime chapter 1 . 8/22/2013
Let me just say... How much I Loved this!
Fushigi Doll chapter 1 . 5/7/2013
Aww, I love this! Wish there were more XD I love ShinoHinaKiba
I3cookies chapter 1 . 4/8/2013
COOKIES! Give ME!
DeadAccount-ClickMeforDetails chapter 1 . 2/14/2012
Before you call me a flamer- which I am not- let me state that I think a Team 8 Threesome idea is awesomesauce. However, even when I like a story, I will critique it as it will help you improve.

First of all, if you know your story is a little OOC, try and fix it... and I am inclined to agree. Though not as bad as many fics out there, Shino here was a little OOC. Hinata and Kiba were still fine (in fact, I don't think they need tweaking), but Shino had his moments that made me go, "huh?" For instance, he never yells, never talks about his feelings and his speech isn't as concise. He takes a while to get to his point.

Secondly, I agree that flames aren't helpful, but you should be thankful if someone is willing to point out your spelling and grammatical errors. I for one, spotted a few, but nothing that makes this story illegible. You should use spellcheck at least AFTER you finished typing (if you're one of those that hate those squiggly lines). Professional authors PAY people to check their errors, and here on FanFiction, you get a chance to have that advantage for FREE!

It's impolite to only update if you get enough reviews. That's not fair on your readers. You should write a lemon because you want to right a lemon. Nobody should feel any kind of pressure or obligation, don't you think?

The dialogue itself is mostly fine, but I found that the story felt a little rushed. You didn't have any transitions, so that's why when the story jumped from one part to the next, it felt quite unnatural. I know it's exciting and you want to get to the important parts, but building anticipation is part of a story, to be sure. I think more description is in order. Not too ridiculously, but more about the surroundings, what's going on around the characters, etc. Just to add more life to the story as a whole.

Good luck!
ali5ma chapter 1 . 12/13/2011
this story was awesome and i loved it
michael chapter 1 . 5/16/2011
THAT WAS AWESOME!Please write another chapter soon!I can't wait.
phoenix chapter 1 . 4/25/2011
so i think that this was GREAT! plz plz add another part to it! I PROMISE 2 READ IT IF U DO xD
The Mourning Dragon chapter 1 . 11/30/2010
EEEEEEEEEEEEE it is so good I have never seen that plot before. I kept contemplating waking my sister up to read this to her i didnt though cuz she will be pissed. i love it when Hinata gets to be with both Kiba and Shino (no yaoi tho ew)it exilerates me i can hardly contain my happy squeals but do cuz of my sister again tis epic congrats
Light and Darkness Are Brother chapter 1 . 8/14/2010
I ABSOLUTELY LUVS IT!
Chaton Adores les Corde chapter 1 . 6/12/2010
That was really awesome! I DO wonder what Hinata would look like with pink hair...Probably something between her and Sakura. But you did such an awesome job with this! It was so sweet!
33 | Page 1 .. Last Next »