|Reviews for Lonely Birthday|
| Lilly Winters chapter 1 . 11/7/2014
Awww, that's so sweet! :DDD I'm going to go to bed very happy tonight:D
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/16/2014
Beautiful! :) Aeris and Vincent are so sweet together
| Mastermind Minion chapter 1 . 9/8/2012
This was wonderful. Short and sweet, but soo like them. Good job!
| Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly chapter 1 . 9/12/2009
Hi! I was curious around Final Fanatsy VII, and I loved this story, is very good! You are very good... Well I just want to say that,well see ya... Keep writting! Bye!
-Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly-
*…No one can predict the future…*
| crossyourteez chapter 1 . 2/19/2008
| Aardy chapter 1 . 10/14/2007
Ok, this isn't bad, but I'm gonna give you some constructive words. There was one line that caught my attention that may need a little tweaking. It's nothing major. It was this;
"The room possessed two beds. The lights had been dimmed greatly, and Cid snored away on his bed. He still wore all of his clothes and lay on top of the bed covers."
You write the word bed three times and it hinders the flow. Also the sentences can be joined together to make it sound smoother. Perhaps if you wrote "The room possessed two beds. The lights had dimmed greatly as Cid snored away, still wearing all of his clothes, lying on top of the covers."
Another thing was that the idea of Aeris asking everybody their birthdays seemed a little too coincedental, considering it is Vinnie's birthday. It weakens the plot a little. I think a more subtle approach of finding out that Vincent is a year older is needed.
I also think the dialogue was a little off (which is nothing to worry about really, because even I struggle with that). I think what is best is to read the story aloud and see if things sound plausible.
Anyway, hope you keep writing. The more you write the more experienced you will become.