|Reviews for Beyond|
| Diogenes chapter 14 . 10/19/2007
I totally agree that it was cheap and dirty ditching Alicia and Angelina from the team. What if they'd wanted to go Pro? I'm certain you've destroyed their dreams in one fell swoop...and what for...a couple of Weasley's...for shame!
That aside, the Quidditch match itself was pretty well done, I'm sure they aren't the easiest things to write. I do think Libra's reaction towards Harry was a tad too extreme. He heals her face, says a quick thank-you (albeit mentally), and then she proceeds to go postal on him...all I can conclude is that someone has abused her mind at some point...
Did Libra use Legilimency or Mindseeking? Surely by now Harry should have a decent defence against it...or at least after that episode he wakes up to himself and masters it...I mean he got owned mentally by Centros and his evil sister, then by Voldie, and now Libra...wake up and smell the roses!
I'd like to see Harry a bit more proactive, because quite frankly, at the moment your Harry appears to be a bit clueless...after bearing witness to Voldie's return and how hopelessly outgunned he was, I'd think he'd want to better himself...unless he's playing possum and pretending that he's incompetent...
Anyhoo, I look forward to seeing what happens next. Oh, and I'm guessing that it was Centros' sister that gave up the goods to the 'baddies' on this Ancient Magic...
| Diogenes chapter 12 . 10/19/2007
I like what you've done with Pansy. Her intervening on Harry's behalf against Umbridge was good; I think it's one area where Harry is lacking, standing up against "the man" (no doubt a result of his childhood).
However, I do hope that you're judicious with how protective of Harry she is (not that I think there is anything wrong with it), but that she does let him fight some battles with minimal encouragement/assistance. How will he improve otherwise...unless you plan on letting Pansy do all the fighting and let Harry follow her around making puppy dog eyes...
Anyways, good chapter, I enjoyed it...
| Fibinaci chapter 13 . 10/18/2007
Love Pansy laying down the law! Pansy owns. Gabby steals every scene she's in. Wouldn't be surprised to find her staying in Harry's dorm next(or disappointed). She must have a hard time making friends as a pretty veela girl w/ the accent. Girls can be horrible to each other(esp if jealousy is involved). Pansy could smack Romilda next.
| Diogenes chapter 10 . 10/18/2007
I quite enjoyed these last couple of chapters. There wasn't a lot going on, but the idle banter was mostly amusing and rather well done. You've done a good job portraying Gabrielle so far too.
The sorting song wasn't crash hot, but I did enjoy the witty comment from Harry afterwards. I also liked the way you had Pansy take care of Umbridge at the end of the chapter.
Now that Harry and Pansy are married, do they get a room to themselves?
Anyways, look forward to seeing what's coming up next.
| Diogenes chapter 8 . 10/18/2007
Somehow I don't think it very believable that Hermione can influence the Goblins' minds, especially as Pansy points out - she's not all that subtle. Goblins aren't stupid...
I do find it interesting how you've changed Hermione's morals though. In the last chapter she tried to take information from Pansy's mind without even asking, and now with the Goblins...is this leading to something?
I also like the subtle change in Harry as well. The exchange with Mrs Weasley being most indicative of that - being more reserved, and a bit more sneaky about things.
Oh, and Sirius should grow a backbone...a decade in Azkaban...he's a hardened criminal damnit! :P
| Diogenes chapter 7 . 10/18/2007
The "honeymoon" chapters were okay. It was good to see a bit of Harry and Pansy by themselves. I also thought Pansy showing up that street performer was a nice touch - letting us see she still has some of that arrogant nature left, but now tempered with a nicer side.
Chapter 7 I thought was pretty good except for one thing...Harry is just back from his honeymoon and you have him "checking out" Ginny...that is just wrong...I don't mind that you have him observe changes in her demeanour...but it should have been done from a purely observational standpoint. Be curious about why she's had these changes but there's no way he should be pondering over a might have been relationship...
| Fibinaci chapter 8 . 10/17/2007
Harry gets quidditch captain over Angelina hhm. Hermione getting into his vault i dont think is a big deal as didnt mrs Weasley often just charge stuff to is vault for him anyway(dress robes, books etc.)? Now of course there aren't any secrets than can be kept from him. Will he ne more rash or less?
| Fibinaci chapter 7 . 10/17/2007
Aw Mrs. Weasley accepts Pansy and their marriage. sweet! it really is important to have a good relationship with your motherinlaw. And seeing as his virtual family is really all the family they have right now, every little bit helps. It's good to that Harry isn't the best at everything Super!Harry fics gnerally start to drag as authors realize the more super they make him the sooner the story runs out. Hopefully we'll see Sirius next. And it will be nice to see how things change with a more mature and confident Harry instead of his canon counterpart.
| Koroc chapter 4 . 10/15/2007
Your chapters always seem too short... but in exchange they come out very fast ) I have enjoyed reading your story at a pace of 2-3 chapters at a time.
| Fibinaci chapter 4 . 10/15/2007
Poor Harry.. a motherinlaw like that! Oh Well, thats why they put up wards. Speaking of...where will our lovebirdds be decamping to? I cant imagine Pansy wanting to stay at her families manor especially if she wants a clean break..so Grimmauld Place or some till now unseen Potter Manor? Nice bit with the sibs. I have always enjoyed writers who can give the background characters story of their own(even if its just a sentence every so often).Kudos!
| Diogenes chapter 4 . 10/15/2007
Let me start with the slight rework of that first bit in Chapter 2. Those extra bits that you've added make it work much better than how it was before.
As to the latest Chapter, I thought it was rather good. You cleared up the issues I had with not describing the participants and that section of the vows. It worked well here, and had I read it straight after the previous chapter, I'd have not commented on them.
The only thing I thought was missing this time was Fleur and Gabrielle. Everything else was nicely done, particularly the confrontations; I'm looking forward to seeing some of the consequences in future chapters.
| Diogenes chapter 3 . 10/15/2007
Hm, the third chapter was pretty good, but I think the second chapter could have been much better.
The first part of the second chapter with checklist was kind of pointless in my opinion. It wasn't really funny, nor did it improve the plot any - unless it was your intention to show that Harry is a complete and utter idiot. That's how it comes across to me. Humour is good, but there's a time and place for it (the reception comes to mind).
The portkey part was good. The nervousness bit was good, though I think you could have thrown Pansy's POV in there as well as a contrast. The last part from Libra's perspective was good as well.
I do think you could have described at least in a little bit more detail what the bride/bridesmaids/(maybe even the groomsmen) looked like. The wedding dress at the very least...
The wedding ceremony was handled very well. It wasn't too specific, but still created a nice atmosphere using small observations throughout. The only beef I have with it is the Snape nearly peeing himself part. That's way out of character for him and hardly necessary. I think most of us can derive the humour of Pansy's reply without the need for telling us how funny it is supposed to be...
If anything I was expecting Snape to be his usual vindictive self and throw in his two cents worth when the lines: "Does anyone object to the joining of this couple in holy matrimony. Speak now or forever hold your piece. (or however you want that bit to go)" occurred. I'm sure he would've taken great pleasure in trying to ruin things for the happy couple, especially Harry.
Anyways, I think I've gone on enough...I await the next couple of chapters with interest.
| Fibinaci chapter 3 . 10/14/2007
"Hell, Yes!"? Harry married a redneck! I liked how they spent the ceremony in each others heads. Most fic weddings are bogged down w/ way over elaborate descriptions of the gowns and stuff and then in case you hadn't skipped to the next chapter yet, five minutes of overwritten vows. I'm a firm believer in just sayin "I do". This was about Harry and Pansy and their relationship, which a wedding should be about. I liked the detail about where Gabby put herself. Will she be like a little sister for Harry? make sense if she's hanging w/ the sibs. Loved Mrs. Weasley crying the first of her kids(as far as she is concerned) married off. Hehe Poor Snape it's true and if he don't like it there's Azkaban.
| TheKarlyFries chapter 1 . 10/14/2007
it's perfect! i had to go to sleep because my head was killing me last night so i just read chap. 38 and this. it's amazing! i love harry and pansy!
| gizzer18 chapter 1 . 10/14/2007
great start love the way hermiones bieng well ... hermioneish