Reviews for Translucent
Riveted chapter 1 . 8/15/2010
Oh so cute! And well-written! Wow that was just great! Fluffy and romantic with Nanofate . . . I couldn't ask for more! Thank-you for uploading this story!
Lance58 chapter 1 . 2/25/2010
moree pleasee! :D make more nanofate
markesellus chapter 1 . 1/1/2009
It doesn't say there more? I hope so, though it has a good ending as a one shot. Good scenario, some awesome lines from Nanoha, I like how she's so open and playful in this. I love Fate figuring out her emotions fics. ;)
nolrai chapter 1 . 10/10/2008
very sweet.
neveraworsename chapter 1 . 1/31/2008
This is a rather sweet, fluffy tale. I noticied that in the begining you put Fate as a "blonde" which is correct as a feminine term but later you put down, in this sentence the male version: Was there ever a moment that the quiet blond didn’t disrupt his time with Nanoha?

"Blond" is for males. I am certain that Yuuno is the blond and Fate is the blonde. Wait, I just confused myself, nevermind.

Good story, though.
elfspirit7 chapter 1 . 12/26/2007
Not bad, there should be more chapters XD!
Shadow chapter 1 . 10/31/2007
That was an excellent read. I'm curious though, if this is a multi-chaptered fic or a one-shot? Seeing how there's no 'end' written anywhere and no complete in the title. Anyways, if there is more to come I'm gladly looking forward to it, if not this was still wonderful. Hope to see more from you and updates on your other fics.
ShoujoGirl chapter 1 . 10/20/2007
This is a really good fic that I hope for a sequel.

Tenkaichi chapter 1 . 10/17/2007
Since I'm a Fate fan I'm biased of course, but not every fic does a great portrayal of what the character is like outside of established canon. That said, I loved your fic, and the descriptions within. Personally I think whatever age they're at (in this story; high school) is loaded with material, so you expand nicely with Fate in particular - how she's developing, activities (that are related to her skillset), and most importantly she's dealing with her emotions. I've always wondered about how Fate would go about understanding *that* kind of love among other things since her upbringing is a bit different (this isn't AU, correct? Though there's no mention of magic at all), but much of her exposure to things is courtesy of Nanoha and her immediate family, I assume.

Interestingly enough, I enjoy stories of F/N-getting-together stories more than ones where they're already together and something is quickly explained, or continuing after the fact if there is hardly any conflict. I read the review from Marine Brother Shran and reflected over that - because this story may have been meant as a one-shot, or it could be continued and turned into a whole drama if you wish.

As a side note when revising, I think you're looking for "council" in terms of student council. :)

Tenkaichi chapter 1 . 10/16/2007
Sweet & beautiful, the winter setting was precious. We definitely needed more NanoFate high school fics.

I wonder if you will write a sequel of this fic… I love all your fics, so anyways anything you write would be fine for me
impishknight chapter 1 . 10/16/2007
loved your story keep up the good work. Hopes yous makes a sequal
Marine Brother Shran chapter 1 . 10/16/2007
It's cute. Quite cute actually. But the ending seemed a bit off...unless of course you were planning to make this story a few chapters long or something, but there seems to be room to give this a bit of a more definitive ending to the story. Well that's just my opinion.

I say this because there's the issue of that guy, which can add some plot in the sense that he could try to foil their relationship. Then there's the relationship unto itself. You know it's considered an abhorrence for same-sex relationship in the public eye. There you could easily have some sort of conflict in which Fate and Nanoha try to resolve the issue and make something out of it and all.

Well that's just my opinion on what I've read so far. I like the feeling there that you've placed into it, and try to keep Fate in character despite her age and such. Nanoha's character seems a bit off, but then again she didn't have as much page time as Fate did, so I'm not going to comment all that much on her characterisation.

Fate's internal conflict was well written, but I felt there could've been more to fill in, in terms of her dilemma, but it's your story. You're the writer, I'm just the reader.

Well anyways, that's all from me

Cheers Ja ne

P.S. If you do plan to continue this, I'll be keeping my eye out on this one
Tsuzumiya chapter 1 . 10/16/2007
Sweet, short and lovely. This is my two thumbs-up to you! I now have another author to add to my favourites list.
Extrinsical chapter 1 . 10/16/2007
Love this, Riddly.

High school NF fic!

You have no idea how happy I am to see my little wish come true. I especially liked the settings and the casual air you gave both of them.

Good work. :)

Drunken Vickster chapter 1 . 10/16/2007
Much as I love me some White Devil fics, some high school fluff is chicken soup for the soul.

I liked also how you incorporated a winter setting. That just added an extra dimension of specialness.
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