|Reviews for Letters From Balanor|
| Icy Mike Molson chapter 2 . 12/11/2007
So far, it's not bad, but it needs a fair amount of work.
I don't think it shoudl be this way, but I was actually far more interested in the first chapter, which had no main characters, than the second. Your second chapter amounts to a fight scene in an undescribed locale, and I feel that, although you were trying for drama at the end weith the revelation of the warg, it fell flat considering we don't really know the characters, have a reason to care, and that it was revealed so quickly. Considering that this appears the be the end of this story "arc", such that it is, I understand you wanted to finish it up, but it feels like there was so much more here that you could have done with this. You set up the problem well with the first chapter, only to solve it before any tension even mounted.
I have to question Tucker. Granted, being absentminded is one thing, but it's tough to forget a raging battle becausre you found some herbs, and not even entirely uncommon ones. I also don't really like Raina's chjoice of weapon; the only good use for a sword that is bigger than the wielder is pike breaking; they may look imposing, but it takes so long to get the weapon around in a swing(regardles of weight) that you've basically been torn to shreds by the time you manage it.
I'm getting a little harsh, so let me go back. The technical aspoects of teh writing are well done so far. Al you're really missing is a good dose of description for the setting and the people. I feel you're relying far too much on the "letters" than the chapters themselves; do it the opposite way. The letters should be there to hghlight important events or foreshadow things to come, not to tell the story. Let your characters come alive in the narrative. Let us see them, not just be told about what happened. Don't just focus on fights; other scenes are just as important, actually more so. Your characters are well developed, I assume, and you know their desires and fears, but we don't know that. Let us see them as they cope with these problems.
In all, the story definitely has potential. Just be careful not to try and put too much into too little space...