|Reviews for Moonlight Snowfall|
| TheWateringWizard chapter 1 . 5/2
That was beautiful! Good job
| Lucem Yoru chapter 1 . 8/10/2010
Wow, I can only describe this with a single word: Beautiful. Awesome one-shot for an even more awesome pairing
| JaMisa27 chapter 1 . 6/20/2010
| Erora chapter 1 . 9/27/2008
That was beautiful! I love it. It is so sweet and romantic, it's fantastic.
| Sakura Reservoir Chronicles chapter 1 . 8/30/2008
I love it! Aww... so cute! They are both alive and back at Konoha!
| braindamage730 chapter 1 . 5/4/2008
| Wesley chapter 1 . 4/9/2008
That was a great story. It made me feel good inside lol. I wish I knew a girl like Hinata...it's so hard to find a nice girl.
| Tergar chapter 1 . 2/3/2008
I'm glad I took your advice in Blind and read this, it's pretty well written.
| Emerald Tiara chapter 1 . 12/14/2007
Ohh, this was so CUTE!
| Leon of the Fate chapter 1 . 11/19/2007
It's very good, though as always there are a few plot holes. The criticism is constructive, though, so take it as you will:
"Hinata Hyuga, princess of the most powerful clan in Konoha..."
A bit too strong of an introduction. Hinata isn't exactly favored by her clan, so this makes it seem as if the fiction will make her out to be a little... Mary Sueish, I suppose. If there's any statement that throws off this fiction, I'd say it's this one.
"I… I would tell him I love him."
I can give leeway for the fact that clearly a lot has passed for Hinata in the context of this fiction, and that's why I didn't find this terribly unbelievable. However, I suggest that she seem a little more hesitant - it's just not Hinata if she's capable of blurting such things out, in my opinion. Either that, or make a note of her emotional state during this line.
"The sword he had used to end the life of a swordsman was still stuck in Kisame’s skull."
I suggest, instead of saying "a swordsman" you instead say something along the lines of "one of the Seven Shinobi Swordsmen." If you read it over, it sounds awkward.
“Yes, what is it.”
Needs a question mark.
“No, Hinata will here it. Speak. NOW!”
You misspelled "here." It should be "hear," I assume. Also, Tsunade seems a little too defensive of Hinata. In my opinion, yes, Tsunade is kindhearted, but she's a little less compassionate when compared to Sarutobi. It seems uncharacteristically impatient as well, as Tsunade usually manages to give Naruto orders two or three times before losing her temper.
Aside from specific quotes, it all gets rushed towards the end. The end's the best part, though! You did very well on the imagery, but it could certainly have lived with a more suspenseful ending. The characters acted a little awkwardly, but you still did well.
Now, the praise:
It doesn't start out seeming terribly depressing, yet it is clear Hinata is not happy. The mood is set so that you feel the same sort of lackluster and frustrated feelings Hinata does. Aside from the end, Hinata is displayed very well in this, extremely well compared to most other representations. Furthermore, there are very few plot holes. All in all, it's very believable. As said above, very good imagery as well.
Keep at it.
| Arcantos the Storyteller chapter 1 . 11/6/2007
nice story the recovery was sort of sudden
| taintedlegacy chapter 1 . 10/29/2007
Nice, keep up the good work!
| Velshard chapter 1 . 10/24/2007
That was really beautiful and the scene with the full moon and the snow reminds me of a hunting trip I took to the High Deserts of Oregon (there are no artificial light sources or buildings of any kind for 50 miles or more in any given direction so it's a totally natural environment) a few years ago in the dead of winter, the night was almost exactly as you described with a light cloud cover that as the moonlight shone through cast a beautiful but very eery halo around the full moon in the middle of the sky which shed just enough light to see the landscape, and with fresh powder snow on the ground and more still falling without a breath of wind I truly couldn'thelp but feel I was in a totally alien world of blue, black, and white, but I was quickly snapped out of my awestruck state by the fact that it was 27 degrees below zero outside (some people have no idea just how FREAKIN COLD that is) and my 'Giggle Berries' were freezing off, so I immediately returned to my canvas tent with it's nice little propane heater. I hope it's a memory I never forget and it's an image I so wish I had the skills to draw and paint to do it justice and as you said I love the snow both physically and metaphorically (metaphorically because of snow's dual meaning of purity and death) which few authors seem to use but you did excellently since the snow both symbolized Hinata's totally pure love for Naruto but also the possibility of his death.
Signed with the highest respects The God Of Perverts
| dogboy1214 chapter 1 . 10/22/2007
very well done. it was emotional n such. very nice. kudos. that really affected me.
| TimeShifter chapter 1 . 10/21/2007
That was a beautiful fic about the wonder of nature and life. Thank you for that; I greatly enjoyed it.