|Reviews for Ritual|
| haruko.94 chapter 14 . 5/3
it was great! :D
| Guest chapter 14 . 4/19/2014
LOVED LOVED LOVED this story! Good work! :D
| Guest chapter 14 . 4/11/2014
My favorite part of this fic was the ending. It was unexpected, but very, very nice that you made Sasuke into a human instead of turning Naruto. Naruto never wanted to be turned, so it actually showed Sasuke's love that he didn't mind giving up his powers and his castle to be with Naruto. I always find the the idea of turning your beloved into a vampire to be with you forever to be incredibly sappy. Not to mention, I don't really think it's a happy ending. Even if Sasuke was actually a nice boy, he couldn't help being a creature who had to eat people. Is that really the type of existence someone else would want for all eternity? Becoming a vampire was such a horrifying thing that people drowned themselves so it wouldn't happen to them in this fic. It would be sort of hypocritical if at the end, suddenly we were pretending that turning into a vampire was good when in the rest of the chapters, it really wasn't.
If there was something I had to criticize about the fic, however, it's that the main pairing was too rushed. Sasuke terrified the crap out of Naruto several times, but after only a short conversation and some kissing, Naruto fell for him? Sasuke was the same kind of being who had killed Naruto's mother and terrorized the people of the village.
Even if Naruto's gut was telling him he might not so bad, there's no way that Naruto would be able to trust him that quickly, trust him enough to admit he loved him, that is. In general, while love at first sight exists, people don't develop strong bonds with one another in half an hour. However, Naruto had actually decided to give the relationship a go before Minato showed up. Almost as bad was Naruto's father approving of them being together and giving a love is love speech where he said it was okay that Sasuke was a vampire. (But Minato hated vampires more than anyone!)
I think if you had a few chapters where Sasuke disguised his appearance and got to know Naruto (and his father?), Naruto's feelings would seem more natural, as would Minato's approval. Even if they hated vampires, they could have realized that Sasuke was the person they'd gotten to know and like, and that maybe he was worth taking a chance on. As it stood, they only had Sasuke's word and Naruto's gut feeling that Sasuke was a decent person who would take care of Naruto. That is very, very little evidence to go on when handing Naruto's life over to a known killer. As a parent, Minato should have been way more cautious than that.
But overall, I would say there was more good than bad in this fic. Thanks for sharing. :)
| g chapter 10 . 2/3/2014
i dont like the fact that naruto gave in so easily
n i wished he was more aggressive towards the brides
| YaoiTora chapter 14 . 12/21/2013
That was unique. I liked it though. :D It was good.
| secret shh chapter 14 . 3/23/2013
Omg I loved this! Thank you so much for making it. Ur really talented
| meh chapter 14 . 2/19/2013
The story is okay. Besides the over powered Neji, the unbelievable vampire LORD turning into human, Powerful Knight OC's, OOC Sasuke, girly Naruto and setting reminding me so much of Van Hellsing the movie... Well, guess if i were to rate this Ill give this a barely passing mark if I were to consider your writing technicality - readable in a way its not horribly done; grammar and sentence structure wise.
| reviewer chapter 8 . 2/19/2013
I love the story, the plot, how it was written but...
Your OC are way taking too much scene than intended. seriously. i cant even relate to them and that it would have been better if you have used an original naruto characters. cause how hard you may describe them, some naruto readers wont feel any connection. Seriously. your Oc's are annoying fuck. i skip them while reading. tch.
| NaruSasu4eva chapter 12 . 12/8/2012
Sasuke : Of course you have , dobe ... Naruto : Even so...Please get those three woman out of my sight . Sasuke : Why ? Naruto : They are starting to annoy me .
| NaruSasu4eva chapter 5 . 12/8/2012
ＤＩＥＤＤDie Neji ! Hahahahahahahaha...
| NaruSasu4eva chapter 2 . 12/8/2012
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!SASUKE IS NARUTO'S ! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE ! NO STUPID , FUCKING BITCH CAN TAKE SASUKE AWAY FROM NARUTO !
| NaruSasu4eva chapter 1 . 12/8/2012
Hn...Naruto's 司徒stupid father...
| Evan Sabaku chapter 14 . 8/1/2012
Good story...I just didn't like tht Neji was the bad guy (I LOVE HIM) lol. But it still was good to read. Keep up the good work
| just me chapter 14 . 6/16/2012
i liked the story except the fact that sasuke say he loves naruto, but he has no problems sleeping with other girls. that was wierd. but otherwise i liked it.
| Kichou chapter 14 . 5/31/2012
Nice story. I enjoyed reading it.