|Reviews for Rough Hands, And A Kiss Perfected|
| RedRosesandMarigolds chapter 1 . 7/20/2017
I'm very sorry, but I really don't like this story at all. I just don't feel that either of them are in character at all.
Zuko respects Mai more than that. He would never patronise her in that way. In addition to this, he would never hurt her physically. When he returned to the Fire Nation, he didn't have a lot of confidence, and to spank his own girlfriend seems much too presumptuous for him. It also seems to me that he would be worried about her breaking up with him, which she may do if she felt that there was an imbalance of power in the relationship - who is he to discipline her? - and that staying with him would mean further physical pain. His outburst in The Beach came after a long day of frustrations, and was not triggered purely by her remark. In The Awakening, yes, he is angry, but his anger is not directed at her. In addition to this, she is trying to help him! (And he knows this.) She tells him not to worry and kisses him, implying that he can turn to her if he needs help, then walks away so that he can have some alone time. And like another reviewer said, her face does imply that she's heard all this before. But she doesn't understand why he's still worried, and why's that? Because he never told her! He just kept telling her how he felt, but because he never explained those feelings, she couldn't help him.
In the Going Home Again comic, Zuko was never going to get a hole in the head. Mai knew what she was doing, and her comment when Zuko landed in the fountain ("Now we're even.") suggests that that was her intention, and the predicted outcome. Remember that these are trained fighters.
And Mai is not mean. She is not petty, spiteful, or anything else that would make her throw knives at Zuko. She is not used to comforting people, and she, due to her upbringing, has lost the ability to show that she cares. She would never outright tell him to shut up. She loves him, and the fact that she cannot help him upsets her - as shown in Nightmares and Daydreams. It seems to me that this story was motivated by a dislike of Mai and a desire to see her punished for perceived transgressions.
Sorry. End of lecture.
| Anju The Elemental Dreamer chapter 1 . 2/20/2017
I can't see Zuko doing something like this yet I can. Its like that moment when animal instincts kick in and you just loss your shit. Overalls, a really good story, usually any 'spanking' stories are very short and not really a story at all, this was well planned and thought out. Thank you for writing this! Hope you write something else for us!
| Bella chapter 1 . 8/29/2015
Not bad but if the star she threw cut around his eye with the scar perhaps that would have been nice
| Data Seeker chapter 1 . 12/9/2014
You've given your warning concerning your fic. That's nice.
I'm unfamiliar with Avatar Magazine so pardon me if I'm displaying my ignorance in this review.
I favor Mai/Zuko pairing- though I am friendly to Alternate Pairings.
As for Discipline Spanking, that's a slippery slope. I think its proper with children- though it can be overdone. As for spanking adults, I see little reason that would happen in real life.
As for spanking in fiction, its morally dubious. There are fics that do stuff that I consider...improper. Like removing ones pants is unnecessary not to mention (in my opinion) an insult to injury. Also, reveling in punishing a person- spanking or whatever- is bad.
Your assurance that there wouldn't be sexual content was the reason I decided to check your fic. You did pretty well.
The basic plot with Mai treating Zuko badly and he punishes her with a spanking is a strange story, which is pretty well written.
The quality is good in many areas: good narration, interaction, dialog, suspense, drama, emotion, complexity, scope and detail- but not too much detail.
Mai and Zuko are largely in character.
Mai is largely unemotional with dry with, though she has moments where she shows strong emotions. Zuko is grouchy, carrying a lot of emotional scars.
I am unfamiliar with the fight they had in the Avatar Magazine (cause I never read it). Makes me think "What? What were the writers thinking? Feels OOC based on hearing about it."
As for their recent argument, fights do happen between people and Mia and Zuko are not normal people, so it made sense that it escalated into weapons in your fic.
As for Zuko punishing Mai for injuring him, debatable. Spanking an adult is abnormal and I'm wondering if he premeditated since their last fight or if he just decided to do it at the spur of the moment.
As for the actual spanking, it fit that Zuko was able to hold her over his knee while he spanked her and it fit that she is churning with anger and embarrassment at the pain and helplessness she was in. It fit how she loses her composure and cries in pain.
Then it is done. The tension between them is well-done; she wants to fight him but knows it would be foolish for an array of reasons and Zuko is ready to punish her if she strikes him again.
The ending is complicated. Zuko leads sullen Mia to her room and apologizes- because he didn't enjoy hurting her and then kisses her, replacing her anger with bliss. Then she goes to bed, contemplating how Unique Zuko is. It seemed rushed at first. But after careful thought, I think its believable. Emotions are funny, namely with people like Mia and Zuko.
This is what I think of the Wholesome Standards.
Language. one word in the Author note is vulgar and unnecessary. But the language in the story is clean. Good job.
Sensual content You handled it well. I like how Zuko doesn't remove Mia's garments when punishing her. That would be suggestive, not to mention cruel. Naturally I don't have issue with the kissing and such.
Violence. Nothing extreme.
I hope this complicated review brightens your day. God bless.
| jrarulez chapter 1 . 9/10/2013
can you do an aang/azula or and aang/mai?
| The Nuke chapter 1 . 7/26/2012
very nice, and very diffrent.
| Ava Ward chapter 1 . 5/14/2012
I liked this story. I felt the characters were very well written. This is the first Maiko story I've read that dealt with domestic discipline, but I believe you handled Mai's reaction extremely well.
I especially liked these lines, "Zuko had shown her that his hands were truly rougher than she remembered, in more ways than one, but he had also shown her how wonderfully his kisses had improved. And in doing that, he had shown her that his hands could be much gentler than she remembered as well." Very well written. Keep up the good work!
| Olivianzu chapter 1 . 11/30/2010
Powerful, I liked it :)
| iCe chapter 1 . 10/9/2010
I love the dynamics in this story. Honestly, I don't think Zuko can garner the courage to do that to Mai, regardless, I think that if he did get fed up, that would be the perfect way to respond.
I really like the way Maiko could be bittersweet and hot at the same time. It is a couple that has very interesting story behind them.
I wonder where the heck that lava rock with a heart is, I've been reading all about the nick thing with Jin but none of the heart lavarock.
| AniLovesMe chapter 1 . 10/8/2010
Well... at least we know Zuko would make a very good father
| ElizabethLestrade chapter 1 . 6/27/2010
This was a very interesting read. First, you're a wonderful writer. Your flow is great, easily going from thought to thought and not making it seemed jumbled or rushed, and with something like this, that's hard to do.
I think Zuko and Mai were actually fairly well in character here, if you look at it from their perspectives. From Zuko's perspective, yea, he's probably a little tired of not seeing or feeling any kind of sympathy, empathy, or compassion from Mai, or at least, not seeing as much of it as he would like. He has to pull it from her like a dentist would pull teeth from a patient. He has said as much before in 'The Beach', telling her that he wishes she would so some kind of emotion instead of keeping everything bottled inside.
For Mai, the dry, sarcastic, calm, unfeeling non-emotional responses that she always gives are safe. This is what her mother demanded of her, a complete stoic exterior. Mai let on a little of this in 'The Beach' as well. For Mai, the 'normal' emotions that everyone else feels are forbidden to her. She never got the chance to express them when she was a child, and Im sure that if she did try to express them, she was either shut down or punished by her mother for it.
I can easily see, with their personalities, something like this occuring, a breaking of the ice, if you will. The way I read it, it's almost like Zuko is trying to literally beat some emotion, some kind of feeling (perhaps sympathy or even tact) into her, or at least illicit some kind of emotional response. I can also see it as a way for him to exert some kind of control in his own world. He can't control his father, or Azula. He can't get the Avatar, or catch any of his friends. His mother has been lost to him...he has no control within his own world. Zuko's reaction here is a classic psychological case of someone trying to grasp at something or someone that he or she can mold, manipulate, or command.
This story actually reminds me of an old Western movie called 'McClintock' starring John Wayne. If you wrote a story like this, then you would love that movie, especially the ending. If you haven't watched it, I hightly suggest renting it and giving it a viewing. Over all, nicely done story. Very different, and while, in my own mind, I don't see it happening, you stick to your guns, give us a detailed reasoning and explanation, and keep it fairly in character. Nice job.
| ThatOneStrangeGirl chapter 1 . 1/26/2010
The story itself is written well. But, I don't think you get Mai at all. This was completely OOC for her. She never was (and I can't imagine her ever being) violent or malicious towards Zuko. You could argue that in the comic "Going Home", she put him in danger. But she knew what she was doing. Zuko's a trained fighter. She knew he would dodge the icicle, and set that situation up specifically so he would fall into the pond, unharmed.
And in The Awakening, Mai was comforting Zuko, not belittling him. He was totally wangsting, and I got the impression it wasn't the first time Mai heard him wangsting either. So she told him to stop worrying about it and kissed him (and it looked like he enjoyed the kiss to me). I saw no sign that she annoyed Zuko in any way.
Also, Mai would never let Zuko touch her (let alone spank her) if she didn't want it. Like in The Beach where she kept him from touching her twice while she was upset with him for acting out at the party. And notice that Zuko respected Mai's boundaries when she slapped his hand away/yelled "Don't touch me!" He respects her because he loves her. And because she's strong enough to kick his ass if he doesn't.
Which brings me to my last peeve. I hate the "Standard Female Grab Spot" thrown in there. Mai can pin someone from sixty paces if she wants. She has much more upper body strength, I'm sure, than you gave her here.
You did a great job writing, and the story's interesting, but you totally changed Mai's character. That kinda ruined it for me. I liked her character the way it was.
| Mangajuicexd chapter 1 . 4/25/2009
wow... It is really so rough! very rough spanking! :))
| Lythya chapter 1 . 2/1/2009
What was it with Ba Sing Se and that Jin girl? Please tell me, because it seems like a lot of people know the story of how Mai and Zuko got together.
Anyhow, this was great :D And funny xD
| PixieChick2716 chapter 1 . 9/20/2008
I LOVED IT
so think you can make this statement come true
" next time there will be NOTHING between my hand and you "