|Reviews for Commencement|
| CajunBear73 chapter 12 . 8/1/2008
A little of the past revisited to show a glimpse of how two started down a path to become one, in the trying times they are facing.
The current evil assemblage at a site of conquest and the dickering of plans. Some short-sighted, some with reach. But in the end a promise made with a serious threat behind it, keeps all on their toes.
Fist and Yori come to an understanding as payment against the debts of dishonor starts its deposits.
Then comes Kim's teasing of Drakken to put up or shut up, and hope his levels of MMP rising don't turn him into his version of a Zorpox.
Settling of ground before the next upheaval.
| Kwebs chapter 12 . 8/1/2008
Great chapter, We now know more abour Yori and Kim is starting to gather people to go get Rufus. I look forward to your next chapter Keep it up lxk!
| Magic713 chapter 12 . 8/1/2008
Another supurb chapter. I am really excited seeing as these past few chapters have started setting up for the soon-to -be climax of the story. I hope to hear from you soon. Good luck.:)
| Sentinel103 chapter 12 . 8/1/2008
LXK, nice update as you stated this would be more of a set up chapter. You put a bunch of background in place now. Warhawk still wants Kim's hide, Ron has to inform him that Kim is OFF LIMITS or else. Yori may learn some moves from Fisk? Maybe a good thing. They are running out of time before Kim's immunity is going to run out. Looks like there's going to be a lot of fun. Lowardia may end up a smoking cinder if Ron get's out of Lowardian control. and what the heck is Drakken up to? Still think Rufus is going to be able to help once he's freed.
Larry (Sentinel 103)
| Magic713 chapter 11 . 7/23/2008
This was a sweet chapter. Giving the story a calm part before the big battle. I am waiting eagerly to see what will occur next chapter. I apologize for the late review and hope to hear from you soon.
| Classic Cowboy chapter 11 . 7/10/2008
I just discovered this fic and I gotta say I how this is shaping up! keep up the excellent work! now I'm gonna go back and read the earlier stuff ... two thumbs up! now update soon!
| VampireNaomi chapter 11 . 7/10/2008
Another excellent chapter. While there was no action in this one, it dealt with two major elements that helped further the story and build basis for the events that will follow.
You just keep surprising me with each new chapter. I wasn't expecting there to be such a well-organized hideout for the remaining free people. Your description of it really struck me somehow, and I had no trouble imagining it in my head. What a desolate and pitiful place; you can pretty much feel the doubts but also the determination of the people. I find it interesting how you were able to show all this without really describing the people and their surroundings that much. We got this info from Kim's words and feelings. It was an effective way of getting the point across because a lengthy explanation might have been a bit tedious.
The talk Kim and Sensei had gave both her and the readers some more info about everything that is going on. I'm loving this MMP mythos you've created more with every chapter because it keeps getting deeper each time. It'll be very interesting to see what Zorpox is like now, how strong he is, and how everything will eventually go.
Kim's feelings and reluctance to have much contact with the outside world were understandable reactions to everything she has had to deal with in such a short period of time. She feels so human here, and it's interesting to see her more vulnerable side every now and then. And yet she's the strong girl we all know and love, maybe now more than ever.
What I meant by that Kim vs. Monty confrontation in my previous review was not really a full-blown anything, more along the lines of "Why the heck should I even be in the same room with someone like you?" kind of thing. However, what you said in your review reply makes sense, and from the story's perspective it's probably for the best to save all the drama for later.
I probably won't review the next couple of chapters right when they're posted because I'm going to Germany for a month, but you can expect more comments from me when I get back.
| Kwebs chapter 11 . 7/9/2008
I really like the talk Kim and Sensei had. Kim is the one who can help bring Ron out of this. Rufus should never be a prisoner. lol Look forward to your next update. Keep it up lxk!
| Sentinel103 chapter 11 . 7/9/2008
Good update, and yes if anyone can bring Ron out of it it could be Rufus.
Larry (Sentinel 103)
| CajunBear73 chapter 11 . 7/9/2008
Very powerful heart to heart with Kim and Sensei. Some blind spots in each other's mirrors of Ron Stoppable filled in and the emotion was friendly calm simmering between the two.
Enjoyed the session that helped each understand more of Ron than they knew beforehand. Kim's getting her self back and now comes a mission to plan for to help end this invasion and overload of MMP for Ron.
Pretty interesting explanation of the split that the MMP has at its core and what happens with usage of each portion to the wielder.
| Samurai Crunchbird chapter 11 . 7/9/2008
The description you gave of the 'new' Yamanouchi was quite vivid. It told of the desolation, the sorrow, and the hope of overcoming the foe they will face soon enough...after rescuing the one being who could truly oppose Ron/Zorpox/Great Blue.
I am also glad for the review of the events leading up to this moment. I am sure you have picked up more readers as the story has progressed; and they should have a good understanding as to what led everybody to this point.
This rescue plan should be...interesting, to say the least. I look forward to seeing how you accomplish this.
Your friend in writing,
The Samurai Crunchbird
| Sentinel103 chapter 10 . 7/2/2008
Pretty good lxk. I'm thinking that somehow the aliens are NOT going to like having Ron working with them. Something like the "Ron Factor" in overdrive. Somehow his goodness will show itself and the Lowardians had better get the heck out of Dodge as we say over here. That is if they know what's good for them. And it had better happen fast. Graduation is almost over and in a few weeks Kim and Ron are getting married. Kim didn't buy into being the bride of a world tyrant and having his child. Gee, a henpecked dictator.
Larry (sentinel 103)
| VampireNaomi chapter 10 . 6/28/2008
Your backstory for the Mystical Monkey Power was the best explanation I've ever seen for it in any fanfic. Not only was it entirely original in its approach, such as that it's essentially a force of darkness when you use it enough, but it was also very well explained. I liked it how you told how these people were immune to Zorpox's mind control powers because that's what I was left wondering after the previous chapter. Also, good job at getting Drakken involved in the MMP mythos.
I am really liking all the character interaction here. Everybody acted in a suitable manner for them, even in a situation that is this serious and unfamiliar to all of them. Given the right circumstances, Kim, Yamanouchi, Drakken and Monkey Fist could make one heck of a team if they just can put their personal interests and issues aside for long enough. Unfrotunately, I sense that there's going to be clashes because some stuff you can't overlook forever. I at least expect there to be some sort of confrontation between Kim and Monkey Fist because what he did cannot be excused and Kim has every right to loathe and not trust him.
Speaking of Kim, I liked that opening bit in which she was comforted by the movements of her baby. There was something really warm and touching about that scene. Another bit I liked was Monkey Fist's doubts about whether he would have threatened Kim if he hadn't been under the influence of the drug. It's a difficult question.
| Isamu chapter 10 . 6/28/2008
Nice job bringing Drakken into the MMP cosmology like that. Also, the "The it will be out honor to walk..." line was wonderfully done! Solid chapter. Don't let anyone give you flak for that people are monkeys thing either. Even if we're more ape the monkey, you're in the right area!
| reddragonn343 chapter 10 . 6/27/2008
wow...cool stuff u got here...the series is very interesting as well.