|Reviews for Commencement|
| Drakonis Aurous chapter 1 . 10/26/2007
Good to see the third installment is in place and this one starts off really well. So Dr. Dementor is being attacked and by a glowing enemy?
Kim and Ron having to deal with graduation and planning a wedding - Great bit of dialog between Kim and Monique. A strawberry covered Naco? Oy that's just sick and wrong...
GJ attacked? Woo boy! It looks like you got a lot in store for us. Looks very promising.
Eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
- Drakonis Aurous
| Mattk chapter 1 . 10/24/2007
The saga continues! Hurrah!
I feel for MrsDrP (caught the name joke, btw - clever) in this sitch. I really do. It seems that Nana Possible is a hard act to follow, in terms of cooking (Ron could probably do it), and having Rufus steal key ingredients can't help. Hope the little rodent got sent to his exercise ball to think about what he'd done.
K&R probably are being a bit hasty about this, but what the hell. Why wait? It's not like they're going to change their minds, or that they need the year or so to prepare that it takes those of us who have no billionaires owing us favors.
The scene with Monique was funny, and I could see why you needed Monique and Kim to be vague about the "cravings" so you could set up the nacos-and-strawberry-jam joke (although I found the line about "I'm pregnant, not insane" to be even funnier), but it does make me wonder why you've made this series rated "M". Only the first one comes even close to qualifying, and even then, not really. The sex, the violence, and the language in these stories doesn't even come close to "M" levels.
Speaking of language, your English is officially impeccable. There are a few spots (not so much in this chapter as in the final chapter of Blood on the Stockroom Floor) where it shows that your English is British instead of American, but since the characters tend to use the show's artificial slang, it doesn't show that much.
Oh, btw, if you get the chance, I think we should see (rather than just hear about) some changes from Bonnie to justify Kim's invitation, or Kim just looks like a fool instead of forgiving. Also, Kim might consider relaxing a bit about the Bueno Nacho food - one of my aunts had pizza served at her wedding (not *just* pizza, of course) because that was my uncle's favorite food. One of those little loving gestures that stories don't mention but real couples remember forever.
Suitably dramatic start to the action/adventure storyline with both villains and Global Justice being targeted. One thing: I know that Kim isn't in top heroic form with her pregnancy starting to throw off her balance, but I beseech you to find some way to make her genuinely useful in the story to come, rather than make it all about Ron protecting her and the baby.
| Zaratan chapter 1 . 10/24/2007
Strawberry jam on a naco... gorchy. I know women get strange cravings, but that's just... wrong! lol
And seriously, Dementor attacked AND GJ? And Dementor knows who it is? Man, that's seriously messed up. And the strange glow? It sounds like Shego, but that would be too obvious.
Eagerly awaiting more!
| Pharaoh Rutin Tutin chapter 1 . 10/24/2007
Anne Teake? Sandra Beech? Does this make Ron a son of a Beech?
Ok, what is after herr Demenz this time and how does it tie in with the attack on GJ and the missing parmesian?
| Samurai Crunchbird chapter 1 . 10/24/2007
I am glad you resurrected this arc.
You gave a good recap of the events up to this point. You also balanced the danger (Dementor and GJ) with the humor (Rufus with the Parmasean and the new Strawberry Naco).
About that combo...perhaps it is an indicator of the baby itself. I mean, think about it:
1) Numerous stories depict Kim's hair always smelling like strawberries.
2) With Ron constantly eating at Bueno Nacho, he may have a constant scent of Nacos.
This combination may manifest itself with the baby wanting more than just the smell of those items, but the taste as well.
Hey...it's better than Rocky Road ice cream and sauerkraut!
Now *that's* truly gorchy!
Your friend in writing,
The Samurai Crunchbird
| motorized-sasquatch chapter 1 . 10/23/2007
Nice to see this story picking back up again. I wonder who Mr. Demenz saw...hmm. Keep up the good work!
| CajunBear73 chapter 1 . 10/23/2007
Some serious things happening since Team Possible retired for family plans with Kim & Ron. Dementor got a glimpse of his attacker and his destination is not as secure as he figured. Who did he see? I guess you'll get this out shortly..
Then the doings at GJ with no clue as to who did this and what the larger plan of that is. Pretty serious for many.
Good start to the next chapter of Kim and Ron's lives.