|Reviews for From Dreams to Nightmares|
| PurpleAmoeba chapter 7 . 7/7/2008
I'm loving this story so far. The dialogue is my favorite part!
I especially loved the line Sherie told Piggy. "Sorry, I already did. And you're redundant, mind you" It made me laugh.
I'm waiting to see if Jack's plan will come through. Has he ever heard "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"?
Loving your story!
| PurpleAmoeba chapter 1 . 6/10/2008
Wow! 15 new characters to write about. Quite a challenge. hopefully it doesn't get too confusing later on.
I like the idea of girls on the island, it adds new twist onto the story. (or maybe because I'm such a sucker for romance)
There's a lot of dialogue to your story, but I can see with so many characters, a lot of dialogue would be necessary to interpret what's going on. Perhaps a little more desciption would help some when you've got a lot of people talking.
I'm really liking your story so far. For some reason, everytime I read Sam and Eric talking and finishing each other's sentances, it makes me giggle.
| Shiek927 chapter 3 . 5/9/2008
Very interesting read so far.
I have to big critiques so far. The biggest is that all the characters(the ones from the novel anyway) aren't true to the book. You've made everything too modern, including words like "sucks, gay etc" and the overall feeling isn't WW2, but 2008. By including the girls, it feels like the whole story is changed completely. Changing up a few things is okay, but it looks like you're going in a completely new way, and I don't really like that.
My second problem isn't so big, and it's already been said: Not enough description. By adding girls, the delicate feelings of everyone changes completely and you could add insights to everyone's emotions. The closest thing we get is just the exasperation of the girls which isn't enough.
Try reworking the previous chapters before going on, and the story will be better.
| Aquatic-Idealist chapter 7 . 4/3/2008
Well, it does seem to be in the right tradition. It captures some of that spirit, these kids slowly falling apart because of a few bad apples. Glad to see that Jack hasn't gone psycho yet, though. It's been quite an interesting read, and you've improved a bit when it comes to explaining more about the characters. Kudos.
| Aquatic-Idealist chapter 2 . 4/3/2008
Hmn, the person who flamed must have taken one glance from the fic and walked away. (I'm a semi-lurker at Flame Rising's Con-crit forum.) Well, let me say this.
Golding couldn't give a care whether girls or boys were on the island. He wanted to depict a sense that children are not as naive as we'd hope, and that evil lies just as terrifyingly in them as it does in adults. Look at Jack, for example, he's just a kid, but greed, ambition, these things morph him into what seems to be a monster, but he cries at the end with the other boys... He's just a kid misguided by emotions that, though he may act mature and tough, he really does not understand.
I'll read more of this later, but hopefully you did put that aspect there, that these children, girls and boys, have the evil aspects of humanity inside of them. Then Golding would not "roll in his grave." Rather, he might stroke his beard at an interesting "parody" of sorts of his work.
But from what I could see, there's too little description. It seems a lot like a script, without the colons. Perhaps you could add some? Show their emotions though facial expressions or dive into their personalities a bit more? Otherwise, it's fine, and description was always a weak point for me, so there's really not much of a problem...
| Jesse chapter 1 . 3/12/2008
Em...it's good, but, why would Americans be evacuated to other countries? Not even British kids did that. Plus, there was only ever one bombing of mainland America, when a Japanese pilot Nobita Fulita tried to use fire bombs to start a forest fire. Just saying. Interesting concept though.
| Karg42 chapter 1 . 12/4/2007
It's an interesting concept, but you do realize that you just destroyed the entire setting. The book was based in WWII and the boys were fleeing Europe. The whole idea was to get them away from the war. So, either the girls going to France had parents who hated them, they left for France during the Great Depression, or you set this to some time not during the war. I'm nt accusing you, but a large part of the book was based on the idea of the war, namly the beastie. Just thought I'd ask.
| insert unfamiliar name chapter 1 . 11/4/2007
ignore what "mudkips" wrote. Keep writing. to be blunt your the only one keeping the lotf section alive.
| Michael2 chapter 2 . 10/29/2007
I wonder how the story would turn out with the added sexual tension.
| inserted unfamiliar name chapter 1 . 10/25/2007
Its good and i would like you to continue but hurry up and write more of "sinful secrets".