|Reviews for Shinji and Asuka|
| iamjustanotherguy chapter 20 . 3/8/2008
i have to say the wait was very painful, but worth it. i have one request though have Asuka remember the waffle incident. you know like she has a dream the night before and says something about it over breakfast with Misato and Shinji. you know just a little stupid funny. oh well just a request. can't wait till your next chapter.
-justanotherguyathiscomputer 4 president
-vote justanotherguyathiscomputer/ The Bunny '08
( \_/ )
um wow i have nothing to say...um well ah whiskey for my men, beer for my horses? what? i just happen to be listening to that very song right now. oh well until next time.
| Itansha chapter 20 . 3/8/2008
Finally! An update!
All in all it was very entertaining, what with Misato's confrontation with Gendo, Shinji's bet (and aftermath... what kind of guardian are you, Misato?), and his simple scheming that actually works (make him more like Gendo then ever... horrid thoughts...). And the plot actually gets move forward, not just a "bridge" to the SEELE's attack.
And as for your university life... as long as you are not in comp sci (like I am) you would be fine. Nothing gives you an headache worse than calculus then algorithm (and its proof... tons of it in detail)
| Darknemo2000 chapter 20 . 3/8/2008
Well, it was bad but better than prev-
Wait, lets do something different.
If talking about sex scene itself it wasn't bad at all, and compared to your first one's the improvement is clearly visible. It still lacks few things though. Like it still could be longer and sometimes you should in short redraw the general picture of the position in readers head. So called "mirror effect" when you not use the description of the actions (that you did well enough) but also the general position that the characters are in as if taking a side view. This in a good lemon should be repeated few times since the author feels that in between the details of the actions he starts loosing the general picture of the positions (and background).
You might want to use in writing your future scene's or rewriting the existing ones (once you feel like it, but they do need some rewrite to match the current quality of the fic).
I didnt like the bet part though. I think it was too cruel for even Asuka. Well ok maybe Asuka CAN be THAT cruel but the bigger complaint is actually Shinji himself. He was pretty dumb on following to that so word to word he could make it easy while doing what he promised early in the morning or late in the evening when there would be no people at school since the bet didn't said that he had to do that when school was full. (Nerv agents could still see the scene thsu Misato would know about it so not that much of plot would be changed).
So yeah, I most definitely wasn't enjoying reading that part, but technically it was, just like all fic done in good details and the only reason why I didn't enjoy it was because it was too cruel and didn't match the picture of the Shinji that you created in your fic so far. I really thought that he should at least turn events to his side (like the way I mentioned) rather than blindly following the deal. Seems a little bit off for his character. i mean he was pretty manipulative one chapter before and now turning out in an obedient slave (though not through the whole chapter) is a little bit too weird change that cannot be covered with "He likes her, and love isnt very reasonable" stuff. nor does " it's ok because he can take revenge in bed".
So yeah, i consider it to be not so good in terms of following your own Shinji character.
Other, well soft complain I have is about the "loss of virginity" scene. pain is not the only thing that accompanies it. There is also blood, and I dont think Asuka is that stupid to not notice that she isn't bleeding. Well at that moment she might not be as she was aroused but after it, not finding traces of blood on her inner thighs would tell her the truth.
Some women bleed very little when their hymen is broken but they do bleed, so I don't think that you can really mask it fully, considering that it is Asuka and she is not the most naive girl in the world.
All and all the fic didnt felt like the author that wrote it was having an writers block. The scenes did not seem dis-joined though some dialogue still needed to add some description in between. but other than that and some abrupt (as I think) changes in Shinji's character in "keeping the betting" scene I dont have much to complain.
Sure sex scenes can still be better, but compared to what i was getting before from this fic it almost feels like a peak of perfection. You can still improve it (and I hope you will) but i don't think it is "bad" right now. But not very good either (hey I still have to keep my face as an rather picky reviewer, right?)
I still enjoyed the most of it, and it had a tasty length too so a good job. Well good luck with univ (the first year is usually the hardest ones as I remember, but again it was some time ago so my memory might be fooling me a bit) and hope to read something from you soon.
| Asuka Ikari chapter 20 . 3/8/2008
Yeah I love this Fic!
Hey what happen with their play?
Update soon and more lemon XD
| FanOfManyAnime chapter 7 . 3/8/2008
Damn thought they were cought for a min there
| FanOfManyAnime chapter 6 . 3/8/2008
Nice job on the Lemon.
| FanOfManyAnime chapter 5 . 3/8/2008
damn I thought you would at least make Misato a little more angry. But o well beggers can't be choosers
| toradorataiga chapter 20 . 3/8/2008
YAY! i'm so happy you updated XD
i thought that the past waz gonna be revealed to asuka while they were havin' sex XD heh then that would be a whole bunch of drama DX
great job! i'm happy that asuka and shinji had sex again! :D
| FanOfManyAnime chapter 4 . 3/8/2008
o.O Asuka is going crazy. Shinji is going back to his old self. and Misato...is still herself
| FanOfManyAnime chapter 3 . 3/8/2008
I like where this is going. Thought they were dead for a min.
| FanOfManyAnime chapter 2 . 3/8/2008
Ok wow he is still kinda raping her. I like how u made Shinji a little darker than he usualy is. Keep up the good work _
| FanOfManyAnime chapter 1 . 3/8/2008
Erm...ya I don't blame Shinji for doing that to Asuka. Hell I'm supprised he didn't do that in the Anime. Good job.
| KaiserZr chapter 20 . 3/7/2008
I got the math joke :) yea me! Anyways another well written chapter and it was definitely worth the wait. I guess we will see another series of serious chapters with the attack on NERV, but until then I like these light hearted chapters of yours. Keep up the good work. Can't wait for your next chapter
| Anonymous chapter 20 . 3/7/2008
I sure can't say it wasn't worth it can i? But seriously that was great. I loved the math joke...kinda old though...i never used it...real corny...and then you have to explain...but thats beside the point...nice job! Update when ever you can...PEACE
| TaKeR90 chapter 20 . 3/7/2008
Well, Im happy that the chapter 20 is finally up, the wait really worth it.
It was a great chapter, and also very funny. The lemmon was very good too.
OK, I cant wait for the next chapter jajajajaja, as I said in other reviews, this is an excellent story, great work.
See you and good luck