Reviews for Shinji and Asuka
Darknemo2000 chapter 11 . 11/10/2007
I most definitely enjoyed this chapter. Maybe even more than any other so far.

Good old Asuka is back, maybe she wasn't acting as harsh as she should at times, but again you explained why and it actually worked without loosing her real self.

One note though, you really portrayed her harshness rather well, yet don't forget that she likes to tease Shinji a lot, since she considers him to be "little boy" (though in truth she herself wants that too). Of course, she is confused with changed Shinji, but I think her pride should take the best of her soon enough.

after all her being obedient through the most of the day is a little bit weird.

Maybe in order to see how much spine now Shinji has, she could use that teasing side of her, which left more or less untouched in this chapter. Of course. Though that teasing game might actually backfire her again, as Shinji is different now.

Its nice to see them as a not-couple-yet again. Mostly because Asuka is back to her lively herself (which she was slowly loosing lately).

Description is done well, and I don't actually have anything to crticize much. I can praise more than criticize which is really good.

Almost no sex, but again, as I said, sex was never the strongest part of this fic to begin with.

Overall, a really good chapter. That I really enjoyed. I hope you'll update it soon.
Jennitime chapter 11 . 11/9/2007
Update!I hope Asuka remembers,but if she does,Poor Shinji and Rei...
Sol42 chapter 11 . 11/9/2007
i love the story, pls update soon or else...lol (O")O Q("Q)

u me

lol
iamjustanotherguy chapter 11 . 11/8/2007
first i would like to thank you again for answering my question. Thank you. **falls to knees and starts bawling** i am so sorry for doubting you o great answerer of my !please forgive me. WAH! **gets up and goes back to normal...well normal for him anyway.** i think that was a little too dramatic, don't you? oh well good chapter. can't wait till the next one. until then eat drink and be marry. _

-justanotherguyathiscomputer

-justanotherguyathiscomputer 4 president

-vote justanotherguyathiscomputer/ The Bunny '08

WE WANNA PEE IN THE OVAL OFFICE!

( \_/ )

('.')

(")_(")

The Bunny thanks you

The Bunny likes you

The Bunny wants your support.

support The Bunny.

( \_/ )

('.')

(")_(")
bigguy1234 chapter 11 . 11/8/2007
very good keep up the work hope to see the next chap soon till then see ya
AsukaIkari chapter 11 . 11/8/2007
The kick lol poor Shinji at least he can kiss her. Reply PLEASE
Spicegirl chapter 11 . 11/8/2007
Yay another chapter Yay update hurry
AsukaIkari chapter 10 . 11/6/2007
Hallo! i cant belive What you did starting over i love this chapter please i cant wait for another chap
bigdave chapter 10 . 11/6/2007
good story so far. sex is a little heavy handed but still readable.

i did notice a little mistake in chapt 10. if Shinji took Asuka into the nerv hospital i dont think he would need an id badge, and since both he and Asuka are in their plug suits and covered with lcl just after a battle with an angel i dont think there would be any questions from the docters who also would have been montering the battle so they would know if they would be needed.
Sol42 chapter 10 . 11/5/2007
to answer justanotherguyathiscomputer, asuka ran because she saw rei and shinji together is because she thinks he betrayed her and had sex with rei and all that, she got sad and angry, and ran. and for the review, great story, and i agree to the other person, they can start over without rape and all that, so pls update soon
justin chapter 10 . 11/5/2007
ok the story is getting really good, u r really good at this. anyways how r u planning on getting asukas memories back, the pic that misato took, or even better a recording of them expressing their feelings for each other in the fight with that angel? lol really looking forward 2 it.
iamjustanotherguy chapter 10 . 11/4/2007
first i would like to say sorry for that stupid question in my last review. when i read that sentence my mind went to a dark and smutty place. it happens alot with me for some reason, and i would like to thank you for answering that stupid, idotic question. second i'm sure you know what your doing but i was wondering why Asuka ran when she saw Shinji and Rei. becouse in your last chapter you explained who and what Rei is. maybe i'm wrong but i atleast thought she knew. oh yeah good chapter i liked it other than Asuka losing some her memory. cause waking up in a hospital not knowing how you got or why your are there is a b.i.t.c.h. *_*

-justanotherguyathiscomputer

-justanotherguyathiscomputer 4 president

-vote justanotherguyathiscomputer/ The Bunny '08

WE WANNA PEE IN LINCON'S BEDROOM!

( \_/ )

('.')

(")_(")

sometimes i don't know why.

sometimes i don't know how.

sometimes i don't know who.

i just do.

- me just now?
Darknemo2000 chapter 10 . 11/4/2007
With original I meant a fic that is not based on existing series. I know that Knight/Lady story was all made up by you, thus it can be counted as an original fic, yet again it was really badly done. But again it was never meant to be a stand-alone story to begin with.

Now about your actual fic. Well now you really increased number of description and tried to make it more detailed. Yet I would recommend you to split some paragraphs so that they would not look so huge. Instead of making one big paragraphs make a few smaller ones.

Next thing, try to rephrase your sentences a little. Be more creative. The best example would be your two first paragraphs. You really overused the structure - "She did this and that". A lot of sentences had the same structure beginning with "she". Use different sentences to break the same monotone structure a little. in worst case - use "Asuka" instead of "she" in some of those sentences, it will make at least some sentences bit different (if you wont over-use "Asuka" this time of course).

As for a memory loss - I actually am happy about it. Why? Since I can see old Asuka back. This way you can actually do a real "building" of Asuka/Shinji romantic relationship from the beginning since before it started with rape, which isn't the best way to start relationship. Besides, though you tried to keep Asuka in character even with WAFF and lemon (and actually did a good job) her character still changed and, like with many fanfictions you always have to chose changes due to character development or rather original characters, for whom many readers actually gather up to read a fic in the first place.

In evangelion case its hard since though all of us like the original Asuka the most, a lot of us want to see some romance as well and that is something pretty hard to do, that only experienced writers can pull off, still keeping her strictly in character.

Though the whole "memory loss" thing isn't something original at best, the fact that it gives us chance to see old Asuka back is pretty nice for a change. Though she herself isn't all that nice but again, her harshness is part of her original character. Once you start to tune it down , you start loosing her character bit by bit as well.

And about no sex in this chapter.. Well I wasnt missing it all that much since your sex scenes were not particulary impressive to begin with. So its not big loss so far, it can change, of course, if you start making it more erotic with extended scenes and added description of an acts. But again, thats something for a future maybe. For now though, lemon parts are actually parts that can be missed the least in your fic.

Well, anyway, hope to see you updating this story soon.
Spicegirl chapter 10 . 11/3/2007
WOW I love lemon but i like this chapter. PLEASE hurry update
Jennitime chapter 10 . 11/3/2007
Cute!
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