|Reviews for Lie To Me|
| guest chapter 4 . 8/10/2012
no offense but you have a lot of huge errors. you get me confused and make me think this modern day version. don't get me wrong. i love the plot but there's a lot of noticeable errors.
| JC-Puzzler chapter 4 . 6/25/2012
First off, this is an interesting storyline and I noticed that you seem to have finished this story quite a while ago. With that in mind, I thought I would recommend you revise this story in a few ways.
The first thing I noticed in this chapter, is that you mention a zipper on Marian's dress. To my knowledge, zippers weren't invented until much, much later.
The second big invention no one else seems to have noticed, is the black body bag. That is definitely a more recent invention, since they include zippers and are made of a special blend of plastic and fabrics (I think). I can see how you might think to include them, but in those days (1190s), they probably just dug graves, covered bodies with rocks, or burned the bodies on pyres or sent them sailing off into the nearest body of water as soon as they could.
The third problem I had was with Little John/John Little being the one to build the coffin. Will Scarlett, according to the BBC version, was the carpenter, not Little John. In those days, children literally learned from their parents. In other words, if your father was a carpenter, you were a carpenter. If your father was a noble, you were a noble. If your mother was a cook, you were a cook (if you were a woman). If your father was a merchant, so were you. Etc.
Finally, you really should use spell check, grammar check, and proofread for readability. I noticed that your punctuation was often misused or not used at all. For instance, every time someone said something, the punctuation either followed the quotation marks, or was absent.
Every time you used the word "I" in the middle of a sentence, you forgot to capitalize it, as well. Some of your smaller words are either mispelled, or have been replaced by another word, such as a few instances where you meant to say "and" but ended up with "ad" instead.
I'm sorry if this review comes off sounding a little too strong, but you have some good ideas for stories (from what I have read so far) and I would hate to see talent going to waste because someone didn't take the time to help you improve your writing style.
All in all, what you really need is someone to look over your stories before you post, just to help you correct any problem areas such as mistyping, mispelling, incorrect grammar and punctuation. The story itself is good and some of the characters may seem a little out of character in moments here and there, but more people will read a story, no matter how bad, if there are fewer mistakes in spelling, grammar, punctuation, and word usage.
I hope you don't give up on your dreams. You may have a bright future ahead if you don't give and learn from your mistakes. If you take the time to learn from your mistakes, you can only improve, no matter what you set out to accomplish.
Just trying to help,
P.S. Edward was doomed to die, anyway. If you watch any of the other versions of Robin Hood, you will quickly notice a pattern emerge from the differences and similarities between them: Robin Hood was originally a nobleman, who ended up an outlaw when he decided to oppose the Sherriff of Nottingham by saving the life of one or more villagers. Robin Hood was, if not a friend, than at least an acquaintance of King Richard. Robin Hood's father is always dead upon Robin's return to his childhood home and Robin himself usually starts out having just returned from the crusades. Robin Hood and Marian always ended up married to each other by the end of the story. Will Scarlett, Allan A-Dale, Little John, and 'Friar' Tuck (Brother Tuck in some versions) were all a part of Robin Hood's gang. Together, they stole from the rich and gave to the poor. Together, they at least tried to save many lives, limbs, etc., from the Sherriff's cruelty. The Sherriff always served Prince John, who schemed to take the throne from his brother Richard. King Richard always ends up being captured and held for ransom during one of his crusades. King Richard always ends up returning to England and at least gives his blessing for Robin and Marian to marry, if he does not perform the ceremony himself. Robin Hood is always returned to his noble title of Locksley, Earl of Huntington (Huntingdon?). And as for Marian? She always ends up living in the castle, usually as a ward of King Richard, often as a favor or direct request by her father that the king ensures she is looked after, sometimes because her father joins the king in his crusade. Therefore, Marian's father was always doomed to begin with. It was just a question of when, where, and how he would die.
| buffyxlover chapter 10 . 2/8/2010
thats from bufy!
| TheChocoholicOfAusten chapter 10 . 2/13/2009
Loved this story! Great writing! I only thought it was a little too fast in some parts..you may want to work on that in future stories. Loved how you stole the epilogue from Buffy haha Love that show! Great job!
| HereNoLonger chapter 10 . 4/14/2008
Ah! That is a lovely fanfic, congrats, although Gizzy and France dont mix 2 much in my opinion.
| gatewatcher chapter 10 . 4/9/2008
Nice! I loved the ending..."liar"! Thanks for sharing! Lana
| gatewatcher chapter 8 . 2/12/2008
I like the way she thinks!
| karol89 chapter 1 . 2/11/2008
intresting storyline but i just have to remark on one thing.. you might already know that or it may already have men remarked by others. there were no pistols around robin hoods time unless you have changed the timeline.
but keep up the good work..
| LittleMissSparkles chapter 8 . 2/11/2008
Love the story. Yay for Carter. the couples are so sweet. Much and Allan are so funny. :D
| Liz4 chapter 7 . 1/5/2008
We are thinking you must continue soon! So sweet and I think you've written the sheriff very, very well. Hooray for Will and Djaq and it's nice to see Robin and Marian married and both still alive. Hope you will update soon!
| The Devil Wears Westwood chapter 7 . 1/4/2008
Interesting... at least nobody... especially my Allan... didn't die... FINALLY on WD
| gatewatcher chapter 7 . 1/4/2008
WOW! Married and ALIVE!
| Soapy-Liedown chapter 7 . 1/4/2008
YAY YAY YAY! WO! Go Carter!
Yay they lived!
Great chapter, liked Robin when he said the sheriff was a wuss, and Marian beating up gisborne, that rocks!
Update soon, I really want to know why Carter is there!
| Abboz chapter 1 . 1/4/2008
Excellent - I love the comedy parts. - allan "Bloody Hell" amazingly good update soon plz :)
| Musings of a Shaken Mind chapter 7 . 1/4/2008
yay! They got married! woohoo!
That was lovely... Carter seems to be coming to their rescue a lot doesn't he?
Great story though... Update son!