Reviews for Disappearance
YouknowwhichvampireIlove chapter 20 . 6/25/2008
The story is great, but I think that you need to show more and tell less. So instead of "the grass was green", you might say "the grass shown a pale lime, and reflected the sun" or somthing like that. Also, some parts move a little fast like when you talk about her powers. Another thing is that there are some areas that are kind of choppy and confusing. Maybe you could try to re-read it and smooth some areas out.
dragonfly91 chapter 1 . 2/20/2008
its a good story
Alice Cullen Is My Hero chapter 20 . 2/5/2008
wow. that story was uber rushed. im sorry, but i liked it, but didnt like it. if there was more detail and stuff, then maybe it would have been better. it was still good, just not great.
bellard chapter 5 . 12/21/2007
great!
VampireGirl04 chapter 20 . 12/21/2007
Hi! You are a talented author. The only problem I can see is that at times the story got kind of confusing. But it was still good. BelaxEdward Forever!
Shikiangel CerEbow chapter 20 . 12/19/2007
wow ve been finding lotta good stories tonight...and this is one of them!
LinkinPark101 chapter 20 . 12/17/2007
o start a new one!start anew one! really good, i loved it! keep up the good work with your next pieces!-mallory XP
wingedspirit chapter 20 . 12/17/2007
um ok well that was an ending I guess.
Baby seal chapter 20 . 12/16/2007
Yes, please do write another one!
bloodredeclipse chapter 20 . 12/16/2007
Well I love the story and the ending! I can't wait until you write other stories!
TrulyFrighteninLilMonsterAlice chapter 20 . 12/16/2007
I can't wait for the next story! I hope it's as good as this one! You totally rock my ruby slippers!
Heartbreak Warfare chapter 20 . 12/16/2007
so sad that it is the end, but good ending.
Baby seal chapter 19 . 11/25/2007
Oh interesting! So he finally bit her! Yay
TrulyFrighteninLilMonsterAlice chapter 19 . 11/25/2007
O...I love the story so far and can't wait to read the next chapter! Please update soon! You totally rock my ruby slippers!
lolly12 chapter 19 . 11/25/2007
Poor Charlie and Renee. I liked this chaper and look forward to the next.
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