|Reviews for Finding Love The Hard Way|
| Angelskissofdeath chapter 32 . 6/8/2009
OMG I loved it!
| Ashii Black chapter 32 . 3/18/2009
Aw this was a nice, lovely sappy fic.
I really like how you managed to minimize the angst as well as the fact that most of the Snarry fics I've been reading are PWPs.
| Ashii Black chapter 3 . 3/18/2009
"Look at me Professor! I'm a bandit!"
I laughed ridiculously hard.
I like this so far! Much better than a lot of other Snarry fics I've been reading lately.
| Gabriella Silverwood chapter 32 . 1/26/2009
m oh yeah this is good stuff...u definitely are talented
| Slashfilled-mind chapter 3 . 1/12/2009
Nice story! Sure, haven't read all that much of it, but I love it so far. Got to go, see ya!
| Natalie668 chapter 12 . 11/26/2008
aww i love all of this fluffyness
its just Aww...
anyways im goin off to read the next awesome chapter x x
| Nubial Sheep chapter 3 . 10/12/2008
It's constructive criticism time!
The overall concept of your fic is cute, but its problems lie in the technical aspect of things. You keep missing punctuation such as periods and commas and misusing the semicolon (though I grant it is a confusing little mite), you repeatedly switch between the present and past tenses, and your dialogue is a bit awkward.
“Whatever you say Professor, but I know I heard you chuckled.” Harry said cheekily before striding over to the dirty old shelves and started wiping them with the rags."
"Whatever you say Professor, but I know I heard you chuckle!” Harry said cheekily before he strode over to the dirty old shelves and started to wipe them with the rags."
problem: tenses flipped around a bit between present and future.
“Are we done cleaning for the day? I think we’ve been for at least five hours, well, it felt like five hours anyway.”
“Are we done cleaning for the day? I think we’ve been at it for at least five hours... Well, it felt like five hours, anyways.”
Problem: awkward sentence, and a comma used incorrectly. technically, a comma shows a brief pause in dialogue, while a trailing-off of text uses three periods and a space.
“Indeed and I won’t change if for anybody, especially you Potter.”
“Indeed, and I won't soon be changing it for anybody, Potter, but especially not for you.”
problems: "indeed" needed to be followed by a comma to indicate pause, the "if" U suspected was a typo-ed "it", tense of "change" was best switched from present to future-imperfect for the meaning behind it, "Potter" sounded more natural placed at that pause in the sentence, and the "especially for you" was changed to convey the negative meaning behind it with a "not" and a "but".
“No… I think I’ll pass Potter. I’m quite full; thank you for this wonderful dinner.”
possibly should be:
"No... I think I'll pass, Potter. I'm quite full. Thank you for the meal; it was surprisingly adequate."
Problems/Reasons: a comma needed to be placed before "Potter", and the semicolon was used incorrectly (the sentences weren't alike enough to fit). Some more subjective changes I made were to cut down such strong compliments like "wonderful" to things like " surprisingly adequate" (which, coming from Snape, is a great compliment) in order to better fit Snape's character. He's more the type to curb a compliment with a veiled insult (in this case, to Harry's weak potions skills) , which is why I added "surprisingly" into it.
Some tips I would give would be, foremost, to acquire a beta who specializes in dialogue and grammar. If you do not want to get a beta, then touch up on your grammar and punctuation using Google; knowing just where to put commas or colons can make a world of difference.
For dialogue, I would suggest reading any conversations between characters out loud to yourself. If it sounds awkward or feels awkward to say, then choose words that flow together more smoothly to create a natural rhythm. If this exercise doesn't work for you, then look some up or find some books on writing to find one which fits your style.
Since I haven't read farther into the story yet, I don't know if you've already fixed all these little technical details in your future writing. if you've already covered these, then great! if you haven't please take this into consideration. i hope you found this in some way informative or helpful.
| hentai18ancilla chapter 14 . 9/14/2008
I bet you had something embarrassing happen to you when you were trying to intiate sex! It was so hilarious and believable.
| moony-is-a-werewolf chapter 32 . 9/12/2008
happy ending. cute story. im glad i read it.
| moony-is-a-werewolf chapter 21 . 9/11/2008
dude i swear if u made drake break sevvy and harry up then i will find out where you live and FORCE you to FIX it do you understand me? good story though. now time for me to go to bed and i will finish reading it tomorrow when i have time
| moony-is-a-werewolf chapter 20 . 9/11/2008
AH! DRAKE! HOT SEXY DRAKE! ok now im calm :) lol this should get interesting
| moony-is-a-werewolf chapter 10 . 9/11/2008
| Kailen-Chan chapter 32 . 7/26/2008
Amazing ending I actully cried, not many story's can do that! :3
| DreamsReality chapter 32 . 7/22/2008
Aw! That was so sweet! I loved it! Yay! I'm just sad it's over. I thought you'd have Severus propose to Harry in the last paragraph or something.. But, oh well. It was lovely.
| DreamsReality chapter 31 . 7/22/2008
:SOBS!: That was so sad. But, perfect.