|Reviews for Little Secret|
| Fran Viera 82 chapter 1 . 4/29/2013
More... I Say... More... !
| DEAD ACCOUNT INACTIVE chapter 1 . 2/18/2010
That was awesome,
i was playing FinalFantasy and my fav. characters are,
bet you cant guess, and wondered about what if?
you rocked it,
| Roux Roux chapter 1 . 1/16/2008
I like the idea for this story and i think it started off very well, i just have a few problems with it.
1: when Balthier finds the bathroom all ready occupied by Fran. I find this a little unrealistic seen as though all Balthier did when he left Fran tending the ship was go to his room and undress. Unless Fran finished her work quickly or she didn't have much to do it just seems unrealistic that she would get to the bathroom before him.
2: I find quite a large section of your story confusing, i'm refering ofcourse to the part where Balthier is woken by Fran. He's first woken by Fran when he startles her, he apologises and puts his trousers back on. How the hell did he put his trousers back on when he left them in his bedroom. After covering his lower half he then leaves the bathroom and goes in his bedroom. Fran them wakes him again by flicking water at him, how can he woken again in the bathroom covered on by a towel when he earlier pulled his trousers back on and went back into the bedroom. I just find this part very confusing, maybe i'm reading it wrong, but when i get to that part i get very confused.
3: my final point is that i feel Fran is slightly out of character. I allways picture Fran as a very stoic person, i can't picture her being embarressed by a naked man.
Apart from the points i've mentioned i think it's a very good idea and has lots of potential, and Balthier refering to Fran as "m'dear" seems very fitting, it's just feels like you need to rewirte it and work on it a bit more to me.
| generic123 chapter 1 . 11/19/2007
| xxcaty chapter 1 . 11/2/2007
This is very nicely written, and I like the story ) please write more!
| MetalChickCrisis2040 chapter 1 . 10/31/2007
Aw it was cute _ will you be continuing it?
| Yasminesoul chapter 1 . 10/30/2007
I like, I like. I'll be waiting fpr more.
| Vieraheart15 chapter 1 . 10/29/2007
This is nice. There isn't enough Balthier and Fran and way too many Balthier and Ashe. Fran is the only one I can see Balthier with.