|Reviews for In Beauty|
| COOKIECHEESEMAN chapter 1 . 11/25/2011
There's nothing wrong with being too sappy! Without sap, you wouldn't have syrup, and... um, I'll shut up now.
"...watching the steady rise and fall of her chest that signified sleep". How... knightly of him. Somehow, this made me laugh a lot! I'd be very fearful of the possible consequences of the situation if I was him at that point. Although if I were him, I'd probably leave the soup and walk away as fast as I could.
I was looking at the other reviews for this, and I was surprised at all the comments about it, or at least the ones with constructive criticism. I noticed their points after they were mentioned, but I never even thought of (basically) anything they said while reading it. Perhaps that's why I like your stuff so much; I'm too unobservant to notice the flaws, and so the good points get amplified.
Moving on... once again, great job! You like to write KentxLyn don't you? I've probably read about 5 of your submissions that include them, and reviewed at least 2. They always seem to have something new about them; even though it's (technically) the same plot in every story, something fresh is thrown in to make it unique. Not to mention I enjoy reading about fluff and stuff like that, but that's besides the point.
Always be unique! ...But not to the point that everyone thinks you're a weirdo, like me.
10/10 Woo hoo!
| mwme22e9yahoo.com chapter 1 . 3/20/2008
That one was hot! I noticed nothing wrong with it. Nicely done!
| wolfraven80 chapter 1 . 11/25/2007
I liked this fic. A few nitpicks though:
I did find it a little slow at first and I found myself impatient for something significant to happen. I felt that a few paragraphs could have been trimmed from the first page to speed up the pace a little. I’m thinking in particular about the section about Kent’s armour. I don’t think anyone would really expect everyone to remained suited up while on a ship, so those two paragraphs in particular seemed rather unnecessary.
Once Kent actually got up and moved below deck, though, things were right on track. I like his characterisation and did not find him at all over the top. I thought you did a fine job of balancing his role as a dutiful knight who wants to serve his liege and as a man who has the face the fact that he’s in love with his liege, and of contrasting these two aspects of his character. Also some of the details were nice like Kent’s awareness of the ease with which rumours can start; I found that a nice little detail, the sort that in fanfic so often is either a) exaggerated or b) ignored.
Anyway, it’s a cute idea and I thought you did a good job with it!
| FireEdge chapter 1 . 11/3/2007
XD CUTE! I love Kent... and I loved the ending. There's not much to say, since there wasn't really a plot (sorry!), but it was a fun time-filler. There were a few sentences that were hard to make sense of, but other than that, everything seemed fine. It's hard to find a balance in emotions with a character like Kent, but I think he turned out pretty good in this one-shot. Either way, I'm just happy you're writing KentLyn. Before, it was mostly HectorLyn stuff I saw you putting out and I was all: "( No KentLyn?" _ I'll stop now.
| Fan Fan Girl chapter 1 . 11/2/2007
Whee-yeah. I really want to give you a good review, but I'm so sleepy and my eyes are like DEAD and I'm about to pass out. :3 So forgive me and yeah.
This one is definitely my favorite of the three (or four is it now? five?). You writing just keeps getting better and better... I'm so jealous. If you have any tips let me know. XD But yeah.
When I was reading through the first time, I thought it was pretty random and pointless that you mentioned Florina with her sisters in the beginning. But then I got to that one part that showed Kent almost making a checklist of Lyn's current condition. Then I was like WOW GENIUS. I really like how you tied those things in... showing that Kent would be observant, but not stalkerish (not quite).
Anyway, I really like the pacing and voice of this one. Moreso than the others. I don't think it was too long at all... In fact, it was a real pleasure to read because the many descriptions gave a real, concrete feeling to the story's setting.
There was only one thing that I didn't like, and that was the ending. The whole pretending-to-sleep-but-actually-being-awake thing is... well... definitely something that happens in real life, but sort of cliched. I would have liked it so much more if he had just left with the warm fuzzy feelings. I guess... it seemed kind of unnecessary that she was aware of his actions? I mean, the point of this story is to show Kent admiring Lyn's beauty, isn't it? Hm. Well.
Anyways, characterization was good, I thought. Nice work!
| IceBlade28 chapter 1 . 11/1/2007
Absolutely adorable. I'm noticing a real trend with your Kent and Lyndis stories, in that you seem to focus on Kent's almost desperation to act, yet he knows that he is unable. Still, you leave the reader in as much emotional contortion as Kent until a fine ending that makes them feels warm and fuzzy. How about a Kent/Lyndis fic from the lovely Lorcan's perspective? It'd be intriguing to see how you handle it. My compliments on a well-authored fic, and I look forward to reading more of your work!
(By the way- THANK YOU SO MUCH for all those reviews on Person's Unknown! Hope you're liking it so far!)
| Sardonic Kender Smile chapter 1 . 10/31/2007
Well, all I have to say is: Congratulations on making a KentxLyn fic without having Kent be an idiot, stiff, sap, or emo. I think he was a perfect mixture of the four, actually, all of which nullified the effects of the others and made him perfectly Kent ;-). It was obvious he really loved Lyn, but he wasn't about to let that come before his duty or what he needed to concentrate on. And he was sweet, but in a simple way. And...well, enough character analysis. The point is, I lurved this fic. Yay!
| Maxmagnus20019 chapter 1 . 10/30/2007
OMG EMO! NOT.
Anyways, I thought it was all cute, fluffy and interesting, great work! D
| Kitsilver chapter 1 . 10/29/2007
Hm, the paragraph with Kent sitting about with his leg bent and thinking about his armor was kinda wordy. It also felt a bit unnecessary. There's also a few sentences with unneeded commas and hyphens sprinkled around (I do that sometimes too), or commas and hyphens where there should have been periods.
This sentence was kinda awkward: [The knight in him knew where his Lady’s room was, but the man in him knew that, and also which bed was hers, who she was sharing the room with, and where that other person was.]
Lyn's initial description was alright, though I wish there was more that showed you why she was so striking.
Aww, though the way he looked at her not as a [fearsome warrior, or a noble Lady of Caelin], but [just as a woman] was cute. And I liked how earlier he had an image of himself being cast out to sea.
Overall: It's a cute idea, that of Kent tucking Lyn to bed. But it was a bit longer and more wordy than it had to be, I think. And while the latter descriptions of Lyn were pretty good, much of the detail felt superfluous.
| Edward Houshi chapter 1 . 10/29/2007
Aww... This is so cute! I don't think Kent was really that far out of character, just a little. The ending was really funny/cute as well.