Reviews for Failure
jordan114725 chapter 1 . 3/17/2009
ending made me sad :(
Vanechka chapter 1 . 3/27/2008
hmm. good.

but you know, after reading so many similar fics, with Lyn dying...

sorry, but it's a bit hard on me...

well, it's nicely done i must say, the angst is nicely done, the ending is good and leaves for afterthought, but...

i've just read soo many similar fics.

FireEdge chapter 1 . 11/3/2007
OMG! GAME OVER! NO! Sorry, I had to say that. Anyway, I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but it felt like a drabble to me (but that's probably just because I read it fast?). Since it was a drabble (to me), I once again don't have a lot to say. Geez, I feel like a bad reviewer right now. I'm happy with the surge of KentLyn-ness, though. It'd be nice to see something nice and long from you about them? Maybe something that would wrench my heart out and make me cry... This one was good, but didn't have the same effect that your angsty stories usually have on me. Still, it WAS intended to be a drabble, so yeah. Anyway, I'm gonna stop talking now. Good luck with your future work!
IceBlade28 chapter 1 . 11/3/2007
Hey Manna, I thought I'd read your newest Kent/Lyndis fic. It's great! Wrenching, but great! The fact that Kent arrived too late to do anything, much less even say goodbye, was definitely the best touch to the fic. The real failure was that he hesistated to say what needed to be said, and then the battle arrived, and before he knew it he couldn't say it anyway. Great touch.

Fan Fan Girl chapter 1 . 11/2/2007
Yay. Another Lyn/Kent story! You like this pairing a lot, I'm guessing?

I don't really have much to say about this one... Just, well done. I think you did a good job of building the momentum and suspense, and then just dropping the "bomb." But I might have to agree that the "She was dead" was a little... redundant? We can already tell what happened.

Otherwise, very, very good. I look forward to more. :3
Kitsilver chapter 1 . 11/1/2007
My first thought was that it reminded me of my Kent piece for "Fleeting Thoughts". The settings are similar though our very different styles are evident, which is pretty cool.

Your descriptions were enough convey the urgency of the moment without dragging it out so that it lost its momentum. It felt like you wanted this piece to be stark and immediate, and your details and structure reflect that. Kent's desperation and need are the impressions I walk away with after reading this.

A bit of criticism:

[Someone, somewhere- or perhaps several someone’s- had disobeyed an order or two,]

[he would occasionally catch a glimpse of an ally- or, in most cases, allies, as pairing up seemed almost essential- ]

Breaking up the sentences that much interrupted the flow of the piece a bit, and didn't bring in especially important information. I think it would have been fine if you took out the phrases between the hyphens.

Good stuff though. Heh, and yay for another piece from you already. Cool that you've been writing so much lately ].
Edward Houshi chapter 1 . 10/30/2007
That was so sad! But still, a really amazing story. The last line, "She was dead." is a little repetetive. You already made that point quite clear in the previous paragraph, so it's not needed.

Overall, I loved it! The way you described the battle was really well done, and the way Kent felt when he realized what had happened... Wow. You're really talented.