|Reviews for Hesitant Return|
| TrunksIzayaBossKadoDRRRotaku chapter 18 . 10/5
| Rorsy chapter 22 . 9/9
No, guns don't kill people. People with mustaches kill people.
| Rorsy chapter 20 . 9/9
The trick worked! D:
| TrunksIzayaBossKadoDRRRotaku chapter 22 . 9/3
Are you ever going to update this?
| StevetheCat chapter 4 . 7/30
Transition from scenes is choppy and confusing. Focus on clearly cutting the different scenes from each other and when beginning a new scene, introduce the setting, area and time. Also, when switching p.o.v it confused me for a few seconds and I had to really think to finally grasp the situation. Make it more defined. Plot great though!
| Guest chapter 4 . 7/27
| 3vilPurpl3d0t chapter 2 . 7/9
It's more of a cruel irony that Ed was brought down by something as simple as one bullet to the chest from protecting a mother, while he had gone against bigger foes and survived. But it was a good choice. His death was not senseless, and you wrote it well, so don't feel down on how Full Metal went down. For you could say he went out with a bang.
| Ravenclaw667 chapter 22 . 6/25
Is there a sequel? Please let there be a sequel!
| Guest chapter 4 . 6/17
| Elise chapter 22 . 6/5
Ha ha I sort of feel like one of your chapters without a long authors note is akin to Armstrong without his sparkles :P (not meant in an offensive way, I love that man!)
I'm so glad Winry and Ed kissed! I'm still mad this didn't happen in the manga or anime...
I admit I'm a little disappointed about the ending... Sorry about that :/ I just feel Ed's explanation about Truth and his reasoning behind not revealing himself could have been more explicit and satisfactory for his friends and brother. I would not let him get off so easily if I was one of them! And it was a little hectic. But! I liked your explanation about equivalent exchange, nicely done ;) and also Ed's long "awakening" in his grave.
I understand you haven't put your heart into this as you say, I think that's a pity, this could have been brilliant instead of just good. I'm really not trying to dishearten you, I just think you can do much better if you organise the storyline beforehand. You have a nice style, and the inner thoughts are well done, the main areas for improvement are the plot, and descriptions (you could add more of those!)
Thanks for uploading, I did enjoy this ;)
I hope you find new inspiration and write an awesome fanfic! :D
| Elise chapter 20 . 6/5
Oh you little... :O That is sooo out of line!
| Elise chapter 13 . 6/5
Aww you're not pathetic! You have the guts to upload something you wrote, letting other people read it and give their opinion on it, seriously, most people never let anyone read their stuff! You don't need to apologize all the time :) I think what you're doing is great, even if there are a few plotholes (Granny would NEVER agree to let Ed die, for example), but you can get better if you think things through for another fic, or even re-write this one :) anyway, don't be too hard on yourself, and maybe push yourself a little for the next one, I'm sure you can write something really fantastic, even better than this, which is really good to begin with ;)
| Elise chapter 8 . 6/5
Ha ha well after that authors note I just had to review :P I'm really liking the story so far, only I wonder why Ed doesn't live a full life then die and stay with Truth after that... I mean, Truth is older than the hills so what's a few decades? I suppose I'll have to see how this turns out, but I reeaaally hope Ed won't kill himself because that would be so so sad, doesn't matter if he'll be with Truth afterwards... God i would bawl my eyes out...
As for your question, I would say you are (or were when you wrote this story) between 18 and 21... You have a really nice writing style, although you should put line breaks in when you change the setting or point in time suddenly in the chapter :) however, you seem quite unsure of yourself so I'd say you're still young. (Good God I sound like a real grown up here what the heck... I'm only 20!)
Thanks for posting, I'm off to the next chapter now ;)
| Guest chapter 22 . 6/4
Hey, I'm reading this years after it was done, but I think there should be sequel on what the reaction of the citizens of Amestris is when they see that the Fullmetal alchemist has returned. Any ways, this story was great! I've lost track of how many times I've read it. Keep up the good work! You're a great writer and good at coming up with stories. Hope you keep writing!
| Guest chapter 3 . 6/4
As far as this story goes, it's great! And I'm only on the second chapter! Don't worry about action scenes, you did wonderfully. Keep up the good work!