|Reviews for Inner Glow|
| KnowNonsense chapter 20 . 1/5
This story really hit a cord in me, and the emotions and thoughts and everything were really just beautiful. I felt it was pretty realistic, and I must say, I'm glad they got a happy ending. Thanks so much for writing this wonderful story. :)
| reflectedmisery chapter 20 . 8/3/2015
This was a nicely written story, but I feel obligated to leave my critique here.
I loved the prose. No complaints on your dictation.
But I often found myself cringing throughout the story.
Now before you read what I next have to say, I wish to state that I am in no way trying to put you or anyone else down and myself up, because we all have our flaws and God knows that I'D never be able to write something like this, at least not the way I am now. Nor am I saying that I am definitely better than you in this way. It definitely possible that you are. But statistically unlikely.
But from the point of view of a female of an above-average intelligence, I was cringing.
To put in place where I am, I believe I lie somewhere around 97-99th percentiles. As opposed to L and Raito, whom I would place in the 99.9999999th percentile. Or Mello and Near, whom I would place in the 99.99999995th percentile.
As first, someone as intelligent as L likely wouldn't have moved so quickly into a relationship, and on the chance he did, would NOT have given up so quickly. Especially not without an adequate rationalization to at least himself.
But this, however, was the premise of your work, and I am not male, so I will leave this be further.
An intelligent, independent(emphasis on independent) woman such as Raito would NEVER let L get NEAR her again. While I cannot speak for all, and not completely Raito, those intelligent tend to compartmentalize emotion(Mello is an exception, as he seems to let his emotions flow instead of holding them in, leaving him severely volatile and impatient). She let go of her barrier's once to a man, and found herself shattered by him. She gave him everything and he spurned it. Even if she could let go enough to love again, it would NEVER be the SAME man who spurned her. Maybe if he came back after a month or two. But a couple of YEARS?! Fuck no. And without even a proper reason for leaving. Never. If it were me, I'd cut off his dick.
And let's say that there is the slightest possibility of him regaining her trust. He'd need to get on his knees, kiss her feet, and tell her how much he loved her and how damn fucking SORRY he was, and that he knew he had been a fucking spineless jackassed bastard.
I read what you wrote about his thoughts, and he kept saying in his head how much he missed her, but couldn't say it out loud.
WELL WHY FUCKING NOT?!
THATS EXACTLY WHAT SHE NEEDED TO HEAR.
Sex may be the way to a man's heart, but showing vulnerability is the way to a woman's. She didn't want to see the cocky bastard. She wanted to see a man who KNEW that he did something wrong!
I'm sorry for blowing up like this.
But many things in this story rubbed me the wrong way.
Again, your prose was excellent and you have real potential, especially as this was written about 7 years ago and you've doubtlessly had more practice, but please don't write such weak characters again. Because yes, despite supposed to be and sometimes being strong willed, they were also incredibly weak willed.
I feel a little sick now.
| Vicky chapter 15 . 5/10/2015
I am mostly enjoying the story but I hate where you keep having Light refer to basically any woman who isn't sexually repressed as "a lesser woman". It is clear to see that you are projecting your own feelings on the matter on the character. In the actual Death Note Universe, Light shows no real attraction to anyone in the series but is willing to use sex to his advantage to help him manipulate the people around him to achieve his vision of justice. At no point in the series does he call out any character, male or female, on their sexual habits. The only character who we ever see being punished in relation to sex, is the second person Light kills - the man about to commit rape. And before you write this off as needless flaming by someone who is a lesser woman, I am presently still virgin, which coincidentally has zero impact on my worth as a person. And when I lose my virginity outside of marriage, my worth will not have changed. I could write another paragraph on how you only ever mention women as being "lesser", as apparently men aren't held up to the same standards as women, but if you haven't conceded my point by now then I am afraid you are a lost cause. I enjoy the story but I think you suck as a person. Love Vicky.
| Ai no Maneshi chapter 20 . 3/21/2015
Thats it? Mooooooore! :(
| Guest chapter 6 . 2/23/2015
i dont want them to get closer!
| dhh chapter 5 . 2/19/2015
The Death Note exist in this Uni then? Wow. I thought it was REALLY AU as in, regular crimes and criminals and NOT the Supernatural type..Ah well..So long as you don't KILL 'L' then I'm fine.
| dhh chapter 3 . 2/19/2015
Why the hell did they get married in the first place? Is there even LOVE between them? I know that "Light/Raito" does CARE/LOVE*?* L but it seems as thou HE doesn't care at all?!
| memories.of.rain chapter 20 . 1/14/2015
This story is pure GOLD. I loved the way that you kept everyone in character but added your own spin on them as well. The case with B was done brilliantly and I was trying to figure out the case along with L and Light. I was also very impressed with how you stuck to the plot of the story about L and Light's marriage and made it very believable. I've read stories in the past that all of a sudden became completely unbelievable and everything was okay. But you didn't do that, you gave there relationship a taste of reality, the ups and downs and wanting to stay together but thinking that they'd be better apart. I can't rave about this fic enough and I love fem!Light. *gives you a plate of cookies and a glass of milk* OUTSTANDING JOB! I hope you continue to write such amazing stories.
| Demon's Trill chapter 20 . 1/8/2015
It was so good reading this. I really liked fem! Raito even though she is less narcissistic than male Raito I think she was in characters as was L and everybody else.
| miss nyx chapter 20 . 10/28/2014
Just to say that I love this story and have read it so many times and I never get bored. Thank you so much for such an amazing story! x
| Teacuppy chapter 20 . 5/2/2014
Beautiful story, I enjoyed reading this, thank you for this gift, and thank you for actually completing it. I'll read more from you :-)
| Guest chapter 13 . 11/17/2013
Awesome story! Love the ending as well. Although there is still a side of me that wants to rip L limb from limb for what he did to Raito. ( but that's just my extreme sadistic streak talking) It's a surprisingly small part of. me though unlike other times. "Insert psychotic smirk" so ... Congradulations.
| GHOSTofDVDs chapter 4 . 8/6/2013
Loving your story. I would like to let you know however, that if Raito is a girl, you can't use the suffix 'kun.' See kun is used for little boys and sometimes older males. It is not used for females. The alternative for females would be'chan' which is for young girls usually, or 'san' which is more formal/polite and gender neutral.
| KuroKanashimi chapter 10 . 5/14/2013
i can't Read This AnyMore Not Only did you have him leave for a shit reason.. PAUSE.. he LEFT her for two years for one argument? one FUCKING argument... WtF? no ones is that fucking angry! & here i thought he left 2 yrs cause of something very very very important... i mean like WtF... Then you have Her & Him acting like he killed her sister or cheated on her or IDK raped her... Beat Her or something! wtf she said hes no better then a serial killer... DID he fucking FORGET that! for someone WHO prides themselves ON stopping said KILLERS what she said is lower then what he did... But No you want too keep her as the victim or the wronged innocent person... i got that from wat L thoughts in this ChP completely forgetting the Crappy shit she has said... & she doesn't care at all that she said it either..
i just Can't
| KuroKanashimi chapter 9 . 5/14/2013
honestly raito being a real spiteful Bitch... By the memories L was a fucking hell of a guy & still trying too be... i hope the reason he left is good!
honestly her saying hes no Better then a killer is low... unforgivable... You're a college student... L should be seeing her true colors