|Reviews for My Immortal|
| Windseeker2305 chapter 1 . 6/1/2009
Really liked this. Very good one shot.
| Watch Hound chapter 1 . 12/24/2007
Very cute drabble, m'dear. Just one thing of criticism... Uhm, the ending doesn't have any paragraphs which is a bit hard to read, but that's okay. I did that to with my first fanfic xD
| tokasyriu chapter 1 . 12/4/2007
Hey, it's Isaac.
First off, thanks for crediting me in your bio. That made me feel awesomely squishy :P
second, if you're really saying that this is your first fic, than you are awesome. This is a really good first fanfiction, especially a songfic. I've always found that songfics are harder to write, but only because you have to have the equal amounts of lyrics and words.
My only suggestion would be to break up the paragraph at the end. Add some indents everytime there is a new person speaking, that just makes it easier to read. If you want, I can beta for you, and make life easier for you as well :D
Good work, Jake! hug
| Moonlit Phantasy chapter 1 . 11/24/2007
...don't you go to hell when you commit suicide?
Anyway, try breaking up the last part. It's messy and hard to read. Also remember that one of the rules of english is that only one person can speak per paragraph.
I thought the angel thing was a bit exaggerated, and the afterlife was... well, it was too you have the time, I suggest building it up a bit more.
| Yoharashi chapter 1 . 11/5/2007
Hey there, you reviewed my story so thus I shall review yours. Nicely done! Sadish but...NICELY DONE!
| dollar-diamond-ring chapter 1 . 11/3/2007
Your first story? This was a really good job for a first story! When I look back on my first story...I get scared. But anyway, nice job. Epilouge seemed a little crammed, but most are.