|Reviews for Need|
| Scarrdiamond chapter 1 . 1/25
It was good I like it
| Kelma Greden chapter 1 . 12/12/2012
This is disgusting. You have used very sophisticated repertoire, very uncivilised, immature, illiterate worthless piece of writing. You shall die in hell and buuuurrn bitch. I enjoyed this throurally,i am secxretly gay and i shall read this every night. thank-you so much.
| RipleyHedwig chapter 1 . 4/18/2012
wow this was pretty awesome TY! .
| DeadAgain chapter 1 . 11/22/2011
Good Job, I ejoyed it. It has really good flow and rythm XD and the clichés were not garringly obvious.
Smlla thing I noticed:
Ron stood firm beside Harry, ready to defend his best friend. Hermione looked from one to the other and for a moment her eye shown knowingly.
"It's okay guys," he told them, "I'll be right in."
Hermione pulled Ron away and they entered the Hall.
There are several ways this could have been changed to make it more interesting.
First of simply slightly different phrasing: She had speculative gleam in her eyes.
Secondly one could leave out the look in her eyes at that point and at the part where Hermione pulls Ron into the hall she looks/ stares at Harry and than pulls Ron into the hall. Potentially she could give him a nod but I think that is already to obvious. This way it is a bit ambigous which spikes are interest. But because in many other fanictions Hermione is more perceptive and realises that Harry and Draco are in relationship most readers would jump to the conclusion that Hermione knows.
Third you could leave out any staring/looking and go for smile and just a bit of dialogue like: Good luck... I know a bit cheesy but heart warming never the less. (My opinion XD)
What I would have liked at the end of the story was just one small specific mention of a reaction for example from Ron or Severus. Especially because Draco is worried about the opions of others I feel this should have been mentioned because through mentioning the topic (the opinion of others) you opened the can of worms but only a little bit and horribly curious as humans are we want to see the rest too XD.
So this has been really long and I have to go XD. Hope it helped, take it as a sign that I believe that you CAN improve. XD
| PixieofDoom13 chapter 1 . 4/7/2010
This was really good. Yes very cliche, but totally sweet.
| Nanci'sNeko chapter 1 . 5/31/2009
Aw, that's really sweet and sad and nice more sweet and nice than anything
| Inuyasha Lover 5132 chapter 1 . 7/1/2008
This was really good for your first story. My first story sucked! This was very cute!
| MissBehavior chapter 1 . 1/29/2008
Aww, that was so sweet!
Harry is very cute in this one
| JessandRoryLover chapter 1 . 1/26/2008
That was amazing...I loved it! My favorite part was when Draco told Harry he loved him in front of everyone. Is this really your first fanfic? It's really good! I just wish that there was a little more to it. I would have loved to see everyone's reaction to Harry and Draco dating!
| nonono chapter 1 . 1/26/2008
OMG GAG! EXCUSE ME WHILE I VOMIT:
" “Incase what, baby?” He still hadn’t grasped the gravity of the situation.
“Incase I never get to feel you inside me again. Incase it was our last time. I just needed one more night "
ew! and no im not in the wrong place, i just have a real problem with subharry, i dont know why but it makes me sick, but i love subdraco ONLYY. so next time, reconsider your chracters.
| Anonymous chapter 1 . 1/26/2008
That was so cute! Brilliant - for your first ever fanfiction, that was absolutely wonderful. Great job! :D
| PerryC chapter 1 . 1/25/2008
That was so sweet!
| runningfingers chapter 1 . 1/25/2008
Aw, this was so sweet. I loved how Draco finally got up the courage to do it. Great story.
| mich chapter 1 . 11/14/2007
really great for your very first! D
| ImGallStaffSorcererOfLIGHT chapter 1 . 11/13/2007
Oh my gosh...I cried..!
Wonderfully written...ahh, just amazing.