|Reviews for Flabbergasted Phenomenon|
| taintedbutterflypotterfan chapter 2 . 11/11/2007
aw, thats a cute story:) update!
| Biloxi Girl chapter 2 . 11/11/2007
Great beginning! Hope you'll update soon!
| mandymuggle chapter 2 . 11/11/2007
"(Note: You would know my favorite subject if you read a few of my HP fanfics!)"
Haha, don't worry about it, it's a perfectly healthy favorite subject! Most of the fan-fics I read have it in them, and that's how I found "Unplanned Pregnancies"! :P
Now, onto a more constructive criticism matter, I noticed that you keep on switching in and out of third person; most of the time it was when Bella was thinking to herself. Also, you have a way of repeating yourself... for instance,
"I rolled my eyes when he growled at me. When I returned my eyes to the picture, my mind was on Edward, and what he was dying to tell me. He’s been pestering me as if this information was vital to my survival—I rolled my eyes at the thought. I wasn’t going to be surviving for much longer."
You put two "I rolled my eyes at the thought" in one paragraph. I'm not exactly sure if you're supposed to do that, but my OCD-grammar mind says nay. (Oh, and also, you wrote "he's" in first person, instead of "he'd")
I'm sorry if you don't want to hear CC! If you don't, I'll never bring up the subject again. I just have a copy-editing mind, LOL.
And... wait, what happens when Bella gets changed? I still don't get that. And what do you mean by, "I wasn't going to be surviving much longer"?
| EterNite chapter 2 . 11/11/2007
| wingedspirit chapter 2 . 11/11/2007
OK this is one of my fav story lines Bella has a baby kind of thing and I like yours but were you sereius( sorry I know that's not spelled right but I haven't had caffine yet)about the next fall thing cause if you are that's mean not that I would not still read this but still mean. update soon
| Carlisle060 chapter 2 . 11/11/2007
omg! bella is going to have a BABY! im so ading this to my favourite stories! i cant wait to hear the drama next! UPDATE ASAP! ) ) )
| Oxymoronics chapter 2 . 11/11/2007
More Soon :]
| lovelyinherbones chapter 1 . 11/10/2007
Hmm...the only reason I'm continuing to read this is because I enjoyed your previous story and respect you as an author...the writing itself is good, but it's literally impossible for Edward and Bella to have a baby. So, your explanation better be good. I'm looking forward to it. :)
| crust52 chapter 1 . 11/10/2007
gud start luv it
| AmberLocke chapter 1 . 11/5/2007
omgoodness! im so glad your back...this chapter didnt give a lot of detail so i cant really comment on it...sorry! but since i know that your a terrific writer im guessing that this is going to be really good! please keep updating!
| Saris Yui chapter 1 . 11/4/2007
This beginning was quite amusing why Latin? Why the Declaration of
Independence? Only Alice knows I hope she tells soon! Oh My goodness I forgot to ask the most important question of all... WHAT ARE BELLA'S WEDDING COLORS GOING TO BE! THIS IS SERIOUS! *whispers* write more soon
| Kuroi Garyuu chapter 1 . 11/4/2007
...not to be a mood killer...but Bella technically can't have a child with Edward...heh. Nice prologue though! :)
| GurliestFresaGurl chapter 1 . 11/4/2007
Hmm... it sounds very good.
| mandymuggle chapter 1 . 11/4/2007
Yay, Janet's back! I like the idea of this, but I have a question (as I have still not read Twilight... I'm ordering it as I type this ;)): What do you mean by having Bella changed? So Alice stops having the visions?