|Reviews for Back|
| Me chapter 5 . 11/9/2007
As always, the idea was really good. I have no doubt that Lyle would use Zoe against J like that. However, the story itself seemed bare. You seem to rely on dialogue to tell the story. It isn't necessarily a bad thing, but without descriptions of the surroundings, and more of the emotions the characters are feeling, the story ends up feeling more like an outline. It felt rushed. I know you're probably worried about making a story too wordy - but don't be. The more the better. It gives the reader something to bite into ;-)
| Katescats chapter 5 . 11/7/2007
I just read your story it was very good.
| anamcharalove chapter 5 . 11/5/2007
Your story had a good base, Zoe and Jarod being caught. But there really wasn't anything in there to tell us how they were feeling and I just felt you were going through the motions. Jarod and Zoe together, they get caught and then they escape. But it had no substance. I like how you used Angelo to get them out of the Centre and the fact that Sydney had a hand in it even though it appeared on the surface that he wasn't going to do anything.