Reviews for Heaven
annie200 chapter 1 . 3/9/2008
How did I miss this the first time? Love your attention to detail such as the girls terror in prison and Logan looking the worse for wear after his ordeal. And this is such an original idea. Thanks
intstebri chapter 1 . 12/2/2007
I do love it!

I'm running out of time to provide a long and mistake-free review, I'm sorry. Thanks to have share it with us.
Mari83 chapter 1 . 11/8/2007
I love to read a story giving us Max’s perspective in the cell, not done often.

"A secret dream had come true and her worst nightmares had been put into reality.

She’d been from hell to heaven and back to hell again. TWICE! And if anybody thought there was a way to deal with that, he had to think again."

So great to have her thoughts on the rollercoaster in BBWW, handling with the prospect of going back to Manticore, kissing Logan, almost losing Logan, the dream, and of course (your always perfect) Zack and all the ambivalent feelings about his sacrifice.

"Max closed her eyes and leaned against the bars of her prison, refusing to face all the other girls, trying to block out their panicked whispers. Some of them looked so much like her that it was scaring. But she wasn’t made to feel scared."

Great point, had never thought of how scaring all the Doppelgänger must be, especially for someone who knows that people can be cloned.

"And there he lay, peacefully; looking as innocent and young as only a sleeping person could look.

Max unconsciously held her breath.

His face was still pale. Dark shadows were visible under his eyes, and the dark blond hair stuck out in all possible directions, a scruffy stubble covering his chin, challenging her to touch it, to trace his jaw with her fingertips."

I absolutely love this part, makes me melt and want to crawl into the laptop.
shywr1ter chapter 1 . 11/6/2007
This is beautiful! Another one of those many scenes we never saw but of course, it's perfect; with Max hauled off as she was we never got to see how she learned her answer to "did it work?"

And you have so much in this, so many excellent points about this point in their universe:

"Max closed her eyes and leaned against the bars of her prison, refusing to face all the other girls, trying to block out their panicked whispers." -hadn't thought of this but you're so right, it would have been like this in the holding cell.

"He endangered the safety of their siblings. Zack had broken his own rules, and he ignored the things they’d been taught." -2 sentences; 3 solid observations-I never thought of how much more than a "simple" self-sacrifice Zack's act was, but you're right. Once again, you're Zack's best advocate! Powerful points.

"Her pace quickened. Suddenly she wanted to run.

"She shouldn’t feel this lost, just thinking he might be gone." I so feel for Max!

And this last is so moving...

"And there he lay, peacefully; looking as innocent and young as only a sleeping person could look.

"Max unconsciously held her breath.

"His face was still pale. Dark shadows were visible under his eyes, and the dark blond hair stuck out in all possible directions, a scruffy stubble covering his chin, challenging her to touch it, to trace his jaw with her fingertips.

"Logan.

"Sunlight was filtering in through the open blinds. It shed light on one part of his face, accentuating his handsome features. His lips were slightly opened, and Max’s sensitive ears detected the soft sound of breathing.

"It sounded like music … like heaven."

Just wonderful- especially the sweet "a scruffy stubble covering his chin, challenging her to touch it..."

Once again you struck gold! Thank you for the wonderful moment the show forgot to show up... ;}
Griever11 chapter 1 . 11/5/2007
This is such a nice companion to BBWW. Nice to get inside Max's head and see her confused and being scared, and worried all at one go. Perfect! :D
lisa316 chapter 1 . 11/5/2007
Lovely!

(Zack's point of view about the events next week, right? Just kidding :P)