|Reviews for One Moment|
| Calenlass Greenleaf chapter 1 . 11/7/2007
I don't know what to make of this, as I barely write romance, much less graphic ones.
| darkangel4gotten chapter 1 . 11/7/2007
wow u have no idea how much i luved this
| Unwritten Story chapter 1 . 11/7/2007
I LOVE the way you started this story, the line "She wonders when, because she would like to find that moment, torture it, kill it, then mount it on a spike in front of the entrance to time, so no moment would dare sneak up on her ever again" Was so good. D
It through me off for a second but i love the way you described her feelings with it! At first i though it was one of those, i wish i knew the moment because i want to cherish it forever! or something, but this was such a good story!
LOVED IT! AWESOME JOB!
| RaiMidori chapter 1 . 11/6/2007
Beautiful play up. Wonderfully done.
I love how your ideas keep stretching in different directions, and how you manage to make a connection between all of them.
Something I noticed was that you outlined the story rather vaguely, just concentrating on emotions, but as you reached 'sex', it became more graphic. I felt that, if you could have left out the groans, it could have had a less primitive touch and stayed on an emotional track.
Another point was, for this story, you left out a bit of finesse in the end, because there is no lead up to a 'kiss'. How important is that kiss? Why did you choose it to end there? The readers should be able to understand this by the time the fic comes to a close.
But all in all, that was very inspirational. You are improving at a breakneck pace!
Keep it up
| zabani-chan chapter 1 . 11/6/2007
its a really good one-shot! I love it and i kind of wish you would make it a two-shot...you know, to tell of their life after marriage? _ I would love that! but that is completely up to you!_