|Reviews for Butterfly Wings|
| Pokeevee57 chapter 4 . 12/16/2016
I am sorry. I mean, the story is great, but I felt like you could've done so much more.
Now don't get me wrong. It is wonderfully written, hardly a single mistake. I'm glad that you try to make the grammar as best as you can. Really, it is great!
But the story itself is sorta...cringey...? It seems strange to me, but of course, that's only my own opinion.
For some reason, this story just doesn't appeal to me too much.
But overall, this was pretty well written. It's nice how you added a new, major character, but still kept the thoughts to Sora, and in his POV. That takes real skill, as you elaborate his thoughts quite well. It seems quite like Sora, if only a few minor differences. Yet I don't blame him...
Great story, but somehow it just doesn't appeal to me...Still, it's good. :D
| AlithiaSigma chapter 3 . 4/25/2014
How to handle item chests: Not have them in the story.
How to handle different Keyblades: They are the same Keyblade, just shaped by Sora's heart and memories.
I'd like to see Kimi get some character development, because the way she is now is gradually ceasing to be funny and beginning to get insufferable.
| AlithiaSigma chapter 2 . 4/25/2014
The paragraphs are rather short, but the pacing is good.
I'm hoping to see that girl turn into a Nobody.
I like your characterization of Sora.
| AlithiaSigma chapter 1 . 4/25/2014
This is honestly pretty good. It's a lot better than... other stories I've seen. I especially like how you keep Sora and Riku in character, even in the awkward situation.
The OC's pretty annoying, but that seems to be the point.
You still need to be careful while typing. I spotted a couple odd word merges a few paragraphs from the end.
| Luna-The-Kitty chapter 1 . 2/4/2014
I would like to tell you that this was very uninteresting. There was no hook and you used 'he said' and 'she said' way too often.
On another note, you are quite mean. You bombed my first published story with a review that didn't even make sense. I think I did my dialouge well, unlike yours. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.
Good day, Madame.
| Downtown Battle Mountain chapter 1 . 12/25/2012
your writing sucks go jump in a ditch
| We All Need A Nap chapter 1 . 9/5/2012
his was THE SINGLE WORST STORY I HAVE EVER READ IN MY WHOLE LIFE AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE THINKING, PUTTING UP THIS HORRIDNESS FOR ALL TO SEE!? EWWW! MADE ME WANT TO VOMIT AT THE AWFULNESS!#!
| Incasa chapter 10 . 7/2/2012
Well, the end of that chapter was totally off topic. Is it really necessary to go so in-depth on each type of shard?
| Incasa chapter 8 . 7/2/2012
Part of the Chapter Review Exchange, just because.
Hehehe, welcome to the drug trips of Lewis Carroll, Sora. Wonderland is easily the weirdest of the worlds, though I never did understand why entering the world was so instantaneous in the game.
I suppose yours is the best explanation I've seen of how the gummy ship drives itself, though I'd always assumed that Chip and Dale were back in Disney Castle, and their images were appearing on a screen. Goofy is also somewhat inconsistent, in comparison to how he is portrayed by Disney and how he is in the game, though he is smarter than Donald in-game.
Kimi, if you hate Disney so much, why are you playing Kingdom Hearts? I understand that there are irritating characters in Disney movies, but they shouldn't be hated on like that. Poor characters who have no clue what Kimi is talking about, ever.
Please review Age of the Wilds, so that I can actually get some feedback on that for once. Thanks!
| Incasa chapter 5 . 7/2/2012
Hooray, Sora isn't being a perfect little irritant! He finally has substance as a character. Interesting way to keep from spoiling everything for Sora, with Kimi not actually having finished the game. But then, why was she so obsessed with Riku? This is not adding up.
I shouldn't be reviewing so freakishly often. Still, I have at least something to say about every chapter, and I'm not exactly pleading for you to review me any more. I guess I just don't like half-finishing a story, and now I feel the need to constantly review.
Yuffie? Great ninja? Now, I haven't played Final Fantasy, but I think some of that confidence is a bit unfounded.
Do I see Kimi getting less annoying? Is she actually going to become a likeable character? Can I see the future? No, I can't, but it's nice to dream.
| Incasa chapter 4 . 7/2/2012
Clothing explanations and Square Enix don't mix, do they? Try to explain most of the main characters' outfits, or even their hairstyles, and you will go nuts. How long does Sora take to do his hair every morning?
Kimi is even more obnoxious than I thought. She is totally out of her mind, from Sora's point of view. I suppose it's just a measure of his infallible "light" that he doesn't just yell at her or get mad at all. That kid is seriously a male Princess of Heart.
You do a great job of inserting Kairi's quotes in a way that makes sense, and I'm definitely glad that I found this story, since there are SO MANY bad Kingdom Hearts fics. I should stop discussing that in a review.
| Incasa chapter 3 . 7/2/2012
... Somehow, I think Maleficent will be much more difficult without the continue button. Kimimela just manages to make a fool of herself everywhere. Why would save points exist in a place which is actually real?
Hooray for dialogue straight from the game! Makes sense for characterization, though. Thank goodness Kimimela doesn't use a keyblade like every other real world to game character. She'll have to realize that not everything will work the same way eventually. Probably. Okay, maybe not.
I saw a couple of minor typos here, but nothing major at all, though, since this is a character into game fic, maybe Kimimela should possibly have more dialogue than she does? Then again, she's obnoxious enough already, without extra lines.
| Incasa chapter 1 . 7/2/2012
Part of the Chapter Review Exchange
Oh, this is very original. Usually these are from the OCs point of view, and you never quite realize just how completely and utterly nuts they sound. Hehehe. This whole situation is just going to be VERY funny. I can't wait to read more.
That was a very interesting take on the opening cutscene. I just kind of always assumed that that whole thing was made to look cool and introduce some of the characters, not that Sora would actually remember it. Now that I think about it, that would be kind of creepy in actuality, even as a dream.
Excuse me, Kimimela! I almost always pick the shield! If anything, I generally give up magic, though I could also give up attack and be no worse for it.
Please review Sinnoh Journey. Thanks! I know I'll enjoy this, even if I originally came here to receive a more honest review.
| Dark waffles chapter 1 . 1/13/2012
Stop flaiming my stories you idiot nobody gives a damn and everybody hates you, I mean i had one spelling error, ONE and i changed it not to mention it said it was yaoi and if you are going to be a homophobe go some where else.
Oh and by the way you made my little sister cancel her profile and stories, she was crying all day, so please stop being a complete bully and if you can't leave, i don't know if you doing this to get people to hate you or if you are just a dumb troll but your stories suck.
Why don't you just delete yourself?
| Baxter54132 chapter 1 . 12/6/2011
hahahah, well I'll say to start, your starting chapter made me laugh. I too picked the sword and ditched the shield. I've never read a story like this before, and it seems like an easy concept, but it is also probably very easy to take the plot too far away from cannon. I'm also not sure why you made her appear to be a boy at first, since I don't think any readers actually know you in real life, I had to read that bit a few times to understand what had happened.
Great first chapter, good way to hook in the reader with some humor.
Anyway.. I'm participating in that chapter Review Exchange thing, but my story is only a one-shot. s/6573653/1/A_Not_So_Ordinary_Trip_Over_the_Mountain
that's the link. I like the idea of review sharing, it was cool to read your work. I'm glad you're someone who can actually write that gives constructive feedback rather than someone who can't.