Reviews for Almost a Squib
Hatata chapter 7 . 11/11/2021
Ok "Help it? No I'm putting it on the tracks" I FUCKING DIED my ribs help
SadMeatBag chapter 1 . 11/5/2021
*sigh*the story start so well just to end like the og work, I really don't see the point in this kind of story like you copy your friend's homework and change it up a bit. You really tricked me in third year just to stick with the same J.K.R plot from 4th to 7th. It's like you don't know what to do, so little things to work with and even less change.

It just sad, I'm sad but there's little you can do. I hope it won't be this way with Harry the Hufflepuff I love that story too much to see it end like this and make no sence if it end like this. But what Rowling write make sence? Yeah she do a good job at creating the magic world just the people include with that world is the problem and she does not know how to write romance and story developement that make sence. Of course I'm in no position to judge her just saying it could go much better.
Don chapter 7 . 10/25/2021
That was one of The Most satisfying endings ive ever read in a fic— this entire thing is molten gold— im definitely putting this in my CBT collection 3 3
hisnhers chapter 7 . 9/9/2021
Oh dear. Harry's done it now. He gave George a great idea about a magical ear, like Moody's magical eye. Conversations are no longer going to be private. I'm thinking Bionic ear with a magical twist.

The Minister is an unmitigated pain in the backside.

Snort. Harry stole their wallets?

Ty! Storming the Ministry instead of finding Umbridge alone elsewhere was... stupid. Ty, for changing that part.

Oh. my. word. Umbridge was transformed into a toad! Snort-giggle!

Yes! Hermione packs more stuff in that tiny bag. I just think there needed to be 3 of those, one each. The guys could have put it into their magical pockets and packed more in those pockets, too! Enough good, etc for a long time. And they could simply call Kreacher or Dobby to bring more food stuffs. I doubt House Elf popping is monitored.

Finally, a smart author! Why wear it when you have magical pockets, mole skin bags and Hermione's bottomless purse? Ty!

Enlarging the food they already had. Obviously, Hermione's not the only smart one in the group. Yes, Accioing fish is probably cheating, but hunger trumps that, imho.

Genius. Yup, genius. Killing Nagini in a splinching accident. Hands award to author.

Rofl! A really intelligent conversation about getting information and all they REALLY wanted was a pint! lol!

I have to be careful reading your fics, apparently, while my hubby sleeps. I keep laughing and waking him up! lol!

Ty! I can't write worth anything, but I always thought, 'Why not lure them in by saying Vmans name and then deal with the snatchers that way?' Ty, for reading my mind.

I agree with Ron, for once, that's a brilliant plan to get the prisoners out of Malfoy Manor.

rofl! I can see Vman throwing a temper tantrum to rival Dudley when the wand squawked and became a rubber chicken, just like a little boy being denied sweets.

Oh wow! Harry took out Vman's forces with homemade bombs.

I really enjoyed this fic. It was fun.


hisnhers chapter 6 . 9/9/2021
Kreacher will be taking care of the Dursleys? lol! Poor Petunia faints. (I hear Draco making fun of Harry fainting.)

Good grades, Harry.

Ron is very helpful in his comments supporting Harry's behavior in DADA. It was certainly silent. The only sounds were Harry connecting to Snape's groin and face, then said face hitting the ground. Ouch. Totally deserved it.

Hermione is so uptight. sigh. Notes are helpful, girl! It just happens to be someone else's notes.

Harry ponders... hmmm Love or Crossbow, which shall I trust? Crossbow! Hello.

Making friends with a vampire could be useful indeed.

Harry the Ravenclaw. lol! He's not stupid and he understands how to think outside of the box.

Gave Bladder-Buster Lollies to the Minister of Magic and Kreacher. snort-giggle!
No wonder he left in pain. lol!

Felix helped him get drunk and retrieve the memory he needed from Ol' Sluggy.

The potion on the tip of his Crossbow bolt exploded inside of Draco? hmmm. Not sure that's a better idea than the Sectumsempra, but it certainly is different!

Harry has reasonable ideas, Dumbledore needs to listen to him more often!

Man, Harry's pockets hold a lot of amazing items. Mine barely hold anything. Women's pockets hold, maybe, lipstick. My hubby's holds a boatload of stuff. I don't wear lipstick! I need these large, holds everything kind of pockets like Harry's.

Whoa. Harry came very close to killing Snape!

I like this intelligent, thinking, not just reacting Harry.

hisnhers chapter 5 . 9/8/2021
Dudley beat up a Dementor? Yay, Dudders!

10 people in a Taxi? Poor Harry with his very red face on the window. lol! He's just turned 15 y'all. snort!

Flea Bomb. Oops indeed.

Rofl! Contempt of Court charges. lol! Perfect!

Lovegood is looney on purpose? Great way to get people to leave you alone, unless making fun of you.

Oh. My. Word. Umbridge. What more can a person say than that?

The letter to Percy was inspired.

I forgot to mention it before, but the chapter titles are funny!

The RoR is probably the best room in the whole Castle.

Snape's lesson on Occlumensy gave him a migraine, too!

Career Day with McGonagall and Umbridge... rofl! Snort-giggle!

Ohhh, Harry gave Bellatrix and Dumbledore what for! In different ways, but still.

Slug-monsters, Malfoy, Goyle and Crabbe. yes!

hisnhers chapter 4 . 9/8/2021
Harry and Snuffles getting pizza or a steak dinner is the least the Dursleys should worry about.

Threatening whoever put his name in was a choice I'm not sure I remember seeing very often. The Tournament is my fav as far as fics go, too. That was funny with Professor McGonagall interrupting his bad word.

Ohhh. Poor, poor Rita the Stenchy One.

Finite'd the boulders. Excellent choice, btw. Didn't get help from teachers, either. Probably is technically cheating, but not exactly cheating either. So. yup, he's used his wits to win.

Lol! Got a date for himself and possibly Ron, got someone to help them both learn to dance AND got, potentially, someone to fix Ron's robes or he might show up naked. Very productive conversation.

Hermione researches, Harry's given up and moved on though he forgot to tell Hermione and Ron is snoring. giggling!

Learning to communicate with the Merpeople and got his hostage. ha! Perfect. Knock-knock jokes.

The Sphinx! rofl! He is only 14, of course his eyes stray! lololol!

'A bit of a slow year?' rofl!

I'm loving this fic!

hisnhers chapter 3 . 9/8/2021
Ha! Blood pops and polyjuice? oh. my. word. Pooooor Dudders. Seriously, he's a jail sentence waiting to happen. That's what happens when mommy, mummy for many, and daddy act like the Dursleys. The kids pay for it in the end.

No way! Brilliant. Utterly brilliant. Fluffy urine. Ripper, you aren't the badest dog in town, anymore! Fluffy's scent was on his socks. rofl! Brilliant. Just, wow, Brilliant.

Oh no. That big dog in the shadows is Sirius. It took me a minute to remember why that was important.

Ha! Uncle Vernon, The Magical. snort-giggle. You just know Lily and James are giggling watching that happen. James is probably happy there is another Marauder. Not giggling over the rest of the way Harry's treated, but that's funny.

Tell them, 'We figured it out,' and no, Harry and Ron won't let things go, just like Hermione doesn't. It's called being 13 and 14. They MUST KNOW EVERYTHING, and think they already do.
lol! if only.

Filch just gave Harry a LOT of ideas with his explanation of fixing the portrait and what's available... oh dear.

Ouch. Ouch! OUCH! Sirius with a crossbow, Remus with a brick and Snape with a crossbow and a wall. There will be a lot of migraine potions being used.

wait. You forgot to punch Draco! ohhh, maaaaaan.

birka chapter 7 . 9/8/2021
Great story, and I really enjoyed reading your Harry.
However, how almost every events happened just as in Canon(with different solutions) even though Harry is so different remains a mystery for me.
hisnhers chapter 2 . 9/7/2021
I like the relationship between Harry and Filch. It's sweet. Harry is using all of his skills he learned from the Dursleys (where Dumbledore put him 'knowingas the book says) he would have ten hard years.) to get through life with a magical twist to it.

hisnhers chapter 1 . 9/7/2021
Ingenious. He can't do magic, but he's got other ways around the issues. Cool. A thinking Harry.

BigFanOfYou chapter 7 . 8/20/2021
Marry me please! Best fanfiction ever! Deserves all those exclamation points :P!

Was looking for dumb!Harry fics and found this on Reddit by mistake. Great storyline and has more logic in it than every Hp fic in the whole fandom. Fancy that...

Especially liked the part where Moody's plan is trashed. Never liked the plan anyway. Wizard logic doesn't make sense at all. The first thing I thought while reading DH was that the plan sounded like something a 5 y/o made up while having wet diapers and upside-down. Lmao .

Hope to find more logical!Harry fics like this one though none can compare to yours.

PS: The part where I ask you to marry me was inspired by the fact that Harry breaks the elder wand and says "Just kidding, that was a fake wand"...
Dobby-chan5 chapter 2 . 8/15/2021
Monkeymmk chapter 7 . 7/26/2021
Great story even years later, and you somehow made the poor kids name even more silly then jk rowlings.
Steve-Arkarian chapter 5 . 7/21/2021
How is Voldemort around after Harry dumped the pranks in the cauldron?
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