|Reviews for Deconstruction|
| yellowis4happy chapter 13 . 10/12/2009
It's great to know that my reviews still mean something, even though I didn't respond to your last reply or didn't review for the last chapter or didn't do SOMETHING, because decided it wasn't going to let me send it to you and I lost it all.
It was another long one, too. Sigh. You think that by now I'd know not to send anything without copying it in case it didn't get through, but I guess not.
Anyways. This was an interesting chapter to read. All from Hatori's point of view. Is it just me, or have we not heard from Hatori in a long time? I feel like we haven't. It was well written, as per usual, but also a bit confusing? For whatever reason, I was getting the impression in previous chapters that he and Kana weren't together anymore, but then this chapter was in present tense and making it sound like they WERE, and then at the end it sounded like they weren't? Maybe I'm just being special right now. Who knows.
It needs a little bit of editing, for typoes and such, but it wasn't that noticeable. I think you could have put a little more into this chapter than you did, though. There were some parts that were just WOW, more than anything else, but not all of it was your usual top-notch quality. The very end, with the BOLD and the UNDERLINED over and over again was an interesting format and striking to look at, and another one of those WOW moments, but the bold came across as trying to hard. That could be just me, again. I don't really like the look of bold words in published format writing, so that really could be just me.
I think I'm going to let this sit on my brain for a while, and then maybe reread it, and review it again. This feels like one of those works that you need to think about for a while to feel its flavor more acutely, and so I may be back and writing more on it.
Sorry if I sound like a bit of a bitch right now, I'm honestly trying not to be. I'm just slightly pissy right now. Please forgive me?
Can't wait for the next update. :D
| yellowis4happy chapter 12 . 8/6/2009
Just, wow. This chapter almost completely made up for the last one. It was great. You have an amazing ability to describe the ways people interact with each other and why they do what they do, and what they feel. It all sounds so real, and I think it really is accurate to say that this story is about life.
You really brought out Jazzy's character more, and also Akito's. I'm glad to see that she's starting to feel better about herself and other people.
I'm sorry to hear that you've been depressed lately, but I'm glad you're feeling well enough to write. I hope you know that I'm going to keep reading this story until it's absolutely done and over with, and I will keep leaving reviews for every chapter!
| yellowis4happy chapter 11 . 8/6/2009
Now that you've posted the next chapter, I decided I should finally get around to reading this one. I'm such a horrible person. xD But at least I can give you some pleasure with my reviews.
It's been a while since I read this, so it didn't occur to me right away that I'd actually already read the bit about the pineapples and strawberries. That sounds absolutely ghastly! It made me crack up. It was a brilliant idea, and you were able to pull it off without making it sound pre-adolescently idiotic.
One thing I find that has been bothering me in the later half of the chapter is that you introduced Kyo's hatred of Yuki and his becoming a student of Shishou, in such a way that it almost sounded like you were trying to make your "Kyo" more like Takaya's "Kyo." That might not have been your intention, but now that Kyo is more similar than before to the Kyo Sohma of Furuba, while the others are much more your characters than Takaya's, there is a certain element of unbalance in the feeling of the story. (I'm not sure if that makes much sense, but it's about as close to what I'm trying to say as I think I'm gonna get.) It also feels more like a middle school student's writing than what you had previously written, which also lends to the feeling of unbalance.
You don't necessarily have to fix this, although it does lessen the quality of the chapter, but you should look out for these sorts of things in the future.
I really like the bit about Akito not beeing sure who she is, that was excellent.
| yellowis4happy chapter 10 . 6/27/2009
Thank you for breaking up the chapter. It really makes reviewing easier. :) And you broke it right where I left off too, which is great.
I love how you continue to give all the characters little quirks that make them more real. Kyo's POV in this chapter was amazing; the way you described the feelings of the drawings and the feelings he gets when he draws. And the part with Tohru and S was really unexpected. I never would have thought that they would have that kind of relationship, and it was very well written and realistic. :D Friendships that turn into relationships that were never meant to be are not written about often enough; they're a great alternative to your classic love story, and it was an interesting turn in the plotline.
Yay, the return of Rin and Jazzy! I was so glad to see that they made it back into the story. I knew they would, but I really like how unique their characters are, and how they always turn things upside down with their antics. I love Kureno's poem, and Yuki's idea to put it in the yearbook. Reckless teenagers come up with the most interesting schemes. The way you described how Kureno speaks, as well, how he "talks like the answer is already decided," definitely breathes more life into him and makes him feel real. Little tidbits like that truly transform a story.
Looks like this fic is gonna be a long one! I can't wait. :)
| midday chapter 9 . 2/28/2009
wow, this is really good! i hope you update soon!
| yellowis4happy chapter 9 . 2/2/2009
Oh dear. I tried to leave another review to ask a question, and it wouldn't let me. I have now been reduced to leaving an "anonymous" review.
'Kay. So. On to the question.
The review I previously left was actually supposed to be about 200 or so characters longer, but it looks like the rest has been cut off. Can you still read the rest of it on your account reviews page, or did it get deleted somehow? D:
| yellowis4happy chapter 9 . 2/2/2009
Thank you for finally updating! The length of the chapter definitely makes up for your absence. :D And I'm so touched that I'm one of your "amazing reviewers." I don't think anyone's ever said anything quite as appreciative as that to me
| quixotomy chapter 9 . 1/22/2009
Ooh. Very interesting and beautiful chapter. But doesn't Tohru already know that Akito's a girl?
| yellowis4happy chapter 8 . 11/15/2008
Update soon please!
I hope Rin and Jazzy and everyone come back into the story. They're really interesting to read about. I also like how you made Ren human in this chapter. Before, she just felt like a brutal, heartless mother. Now I can identify with her more.
I really feel bad for Hator now, except I don't quite know why. I was looking at Hatori's POV and realized that it was in past tense, which meant it happened in the past versus the present. That's so confusing sometimes, since most stories are just in straight past tense! So now that I know it's part of what happened before, would you tell me WHEN it happened? Because I don't think that was made completely clear. Either that, or I just wasn't paying attention or my memory is not functioning properly.
| Leif the Lucky chapter 1 . 11/13/2008
Is Akito a girl or boy in this?
| yellowis4happy chapter 7 . 11/11/2008
I liked this chapter. The Akito/Tohruness is really coming through now, and it's not really sudden even though it's sort of random after almost six chapters of one-sided Akiru.
What kind of dog is Chella?
| yellowis4happy chapter 6 . 11/11/2008
I love the abstractness of your style of writing, the way you describe things that don't make sense when pulled together but do. It's really unique and beautiful and exciting to read. And I like Arisa's personality.
| yellowis4happy chapter 5 . 11/11/2008
I could really learn to love this story. It's very detailed and descriptive, and the way you're slowly bringing out each character's personality constantly leaves me wondering what's next. I also love how the Akito/Tohru love is coming on nice and gradual, helping to make the story realistic in comparison with other fics of the same pairing.
I'm gonna finish this story no matter what it takes, so keep on writing it.
| Decollage chapter 2 . 11/2/2008
Slightly confused on the cultural setting, but only barely. As always, perfect characterization
| Decollage chapter 1 . 11/2/2008
Beautiful. This is the first fic I've seen that actually characterizes Akito, rather than using him as an ill-conceived plot point or a stock antagonist.
I'm also glad you're addressing the gender dysphoric issue. This is really a breath of fresh air.