Hm... improve it by making smut, more story line... oh SMUT! That is the big ringer! Haha! Just more of a story line would be cool. Like a sequal. Yeah. Okay.

Ciao.

This was a good story.

Thank you for sharing

Oh good a very interesting chapter you written. It was nice. Merry Christmas. Have a nice day tomorrow, Keep smiling. :-)

I like the idea for this story, but I feel it's far too short. It's well written, but it feels a bit rushed.

That was an awsome story , My only problem was that Jareth and Sarah didnt get married and have baby tobies and live HAPILY EVER AFTER lol but meh ! LOVE your work !

Wow ! gosh almighty that was so exiting, Im soo glad that Toby was finally found :D

Congratulations on starting your fist fanfiction! Very nerve-wracking indeed.

You have a good story line here. Your style can use a lot of brushing up. You also need to double check your word usage, as spellcheck will see 'minuet' as a courtly dance when you mean 'minute'.

You are keeping the tension high. The flip side to that is that, personally, I feel that the story is rushing along. That's just my personal opinion, though. If you are happy with the pacing, then keep along.

Until again.

This is an enjoyable chapter. Thank you for writing it. :-)

Oh, you can just tell its going to get exiting!

Very mysterious , Keep up the good work :)

I really like this idea and encourage u to keep writing. I'm really excited to see how the plot develpes, mainly cause u left it a a cliffy!

GOOD WORK!

I do so hope you update soon,

I thinks its really good.

A simply wonderful chapter you have written. Because of this can we have more please. Only if there is more to come. If not good story. :-)

Have a good day tomorrow, and keep on smiling all the day through.

I like this chapter alot. Can we have more please. Have a good weekend. Keep smiling. :-)

It is an interesting and enjoyable chapter you have written. Can we have more please. :-D

Keep this story going.