Reviews for Beware the Jabberwock
Starkiller chapter 1 . 2/25/2009
This is an excellent piece of writing. I've always loved Lewis Carrol's use of language; it's wonderfully fantastical and frightening, and you blend your own style of writing with Carrol's "Jabberwocky" perfectly. When I'm writing Luna I refer to one of Carrol's poems or stories too, because Luna's mind, despite being razor sharp and very clever, is the mind of a child in that she sees everything as though she's seeing it for the first time. Her imagination is wild and completely free, like Carrol's writing, and you've definitely caught that here. D
Mountain Dew Girl chapter 1 . 1/7/2009
I'm not usually much for fics that mix poetry and prose, but you made it work beautifuly. This has always been one of my favorite poems, since I was four or five and my mother would read it to me. Perhaps that is why it brought tears to my eyes. I've never been as creative as Luna, but I've always made sure to shun the bandersnatch.
Bad Mum chapter 1 . 10/15/2008
This is just lovely, Lexie. Luna is so brilliantly written, and you;ve captured the way a child often blames herself for something that isn't her fault really well.
FirstYear chapter 1 . 10/1/2008
"I am not clever enough to see such things" tells us more about her mother in nine words then many stories do in an entire chapter. Excellent...
Violin Ghost chapter 1 . 5/4/2008
That was lovely, and just like Luna- charming and imaginative, trusting and a trifle sad.
MatoakaWilde chapter 1 . 2/2/2008
It was a really clever thing to combine Carroll with Luna, milk and cookies! This was a delightful one-shot, if only all could be this thoughtful. I loved the opening paragraph about dusk. It reminded me of spring.
ToManyLetters chapter 1 . 2/2/2008
This is an emotionally gripping piece; the event of Luna's mother's death is one that has always troubled me - this was written in a magnificent tone that is very rare to find, yet common in stories of high quality. Thank you for writing and posting this.

TML
Espoir Noir chapter 1 . 2/2/2008
A loved the lyrical tone to this piece, perhaps it was the verses throughout it, but it had a wonderful flow to it. The poem fits Luna so perfectly, and her guilt about her mother's death is so touching, not overdone in the slightest. Beautiful!
Heart4Happiness chapter 1 . 2/2/2008
Oh, this is so beautiful!

I love your description and characterisations.

The last line tied everything off perfectly.
mackgirl chapter 1 . 2/1/2008
I think you incorporated the poem into the story very nicely, as well as capturing Luna. I love the end when Luna and her Dad are in the garden watching the different creatures. Great job!
Sandshrew777 chapter 1 . 1/25/2008
What a delightful, mystical tone! It suits Luna and "The Jabberwocky" so wonderfully for it to be so ambiguous and imaginative.

I'm particularly fond of Luna's acknowledgment this these creatures are all in her imagination, yet she still deigns to play with them, day after day. It becomes a testament to her youth, even though she shows the maturity to know what she is engaging in does not truly exist. A wonderful juxtaposition.

Stylistically, I appreciate your idea to end and begin with the tove. I think it would be more effective if you led out with the scene between Luna and her mother, but on the other hand, it's hard to shift scenes around and still keep the delightful meaning you have with the Jabberwock. I like it the way it is now, surely, although the contrasting of how her mother reacts as an opening scene with her father's reaction for the end scene is particularly powerful and works to tie things together even more strongly. It's something to think about, at any rate.

I think that if were anything to be strengthened, it would be the scene with the three of them together, as a happy family. It's relatively short (although jam-packed with goodness!), and I think that to contrast the impending doom that her mother meets with a little bit more fluffiness, there, would be a nice tempo relaxation. You already relieve the tension for us a little with the scene, and I recognize that, but I think you need just a tinch more.

And now for the tediously boring grammar report (4-5, 7 are stylistic concerns; i.e. I agree with what you've done, but it's not Standard English, at least from my understand, although I can be wrong, of course):

1. "turned it’s eyes" (delete apostrophe)

2. "she had listened to his daughter’s" (gender mistyping)

3. "of raddish tea" (misspelling: 'radish')

4. '“My darling, I am not clever enough to see such things.”' (new paragraph, needs dialogue tag)

5. '“Mummy said I didn’t have to be scared by the Jabberwock, because she wasn’t, and the Jabberwock was angry and he took her for the Jubjub and the Baddersnatch!”' (new paragraph, needs dialogue tag; can shift the preceding sentence for style concerns)

6. "daughters’" (apostrophe needs shifting to the left one position)

7. '“I’d rather like to meet these borogroves, my darling girl. Can you take me?”' (new paragraph, needs dialogue tag; can shift preceding sentence)

Overall, this is a particularly strong one-shot that is more than just story or a character sketch, which is highly elusive here. A delightful read.

Keep writing!
stella8h8chang chapter 1 . 1/4/2008
Squee! Lewis Carroll Luna Lovegood. I have a soft spot in my heart for this poem, because I had to recite it with my classmates in 4th grade for assembly, and I'm so happy to see Luna so at home in Carroll's world.
Padfootatheart chapter 1 . 12/28/2007
Ooh fantastic! What a new take on Luna's mysterious beliefs...anything I've read concerning her, has always alluded to her mother being a whimsical young witch, having dazzled Xeno with her childlike wonder in things and having taught luna her ways in the power of imagination.

This way...is very beautiful. I love the idea that Xeno might've actually been as unhinged as he appeared. Devistated by the death of his wife and willing to turn to anything for answers. And by having Luna provide them, you support the strength of their relationship seen throughout the series.

Gorgeous job Lexie

Paddy
A Shade of Grey chapter 1 . 11/22/2007
You captured the essence of Luna wonderfully in this fic, and I love how you ended with her father seeing the creatures as well. Great job!

Oh, and I loved how smoothly you transitioned between the story and the poem. It didn't feel at all disconnected.
Cuban Sombrero Gal chapter 1 . 11/20/2007
Hey Lexie.

I think the best bit about this is the way you've tied the poem in, given it more meaning, it really does strike me as Luna (don't ask me how I managed to relate this poem to Sirius lol).

Which was quite ridiculous, Luna thought, since this was her imagination…. - I like this, the fact that she knows she's imagining them yet she still believes in them, still keeps up the pretense that they're real. I also like the way that Luna's imagination bridges the gap between happy and sad, between the past and moving on.

There were a few spelling mistakes, like I think you put 'lnown' instead of 'known' but other than that, it was amazing. Definately worth favouriting.

) Cuba
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