Reviews for Almost a perfect life
DarkAgea chapter 1 . 11/10/2016
Let me just start by saying that for not being a native speaker, your English isn't that bad. It's actually quite good, and certainly interesting. However, there are quite a lot of mistakes, like Edward holding a carpet (which confused me a lot - you probably meant paper[s]) and punctuation errors. And the Second Lieutenant's first name is Maria, not Marcia.
On another note, please don't use gratuitous Japanese. It is somewhat detracting. From what I understand, you are Spanish, and so you have no reason to insert Japanese into your writing. Also, what you use is somewhat wrong. I'm no Japanese expert, but from what I know, dad is written as tousan or otousan, if you're being formal and polite. Also, suffixes like '-san' do not need to be capitalized.
I hope you correct these mistakes, because I like this story (Parental!RoyEd is life) and it deserves to be polished to perfection.
Tenchiko chapter 46 . 4/9/2015
Awwww this was an awesome fan-fiction! I'm kinda sad to see it go...
Fullmetaflamedarkmoon chapter 46 . 9/25/2013
Best fanfic every! U r a genius!
Guest chapter 1 . 7/2/2013
you japanese is poor... Otoosan? really? Otou (father) san (honourific) people normally put a dash between the suffixes/honorifics to differentiate between the e.g -san -kun -chan -sama -dono -sempai etc and you dont need to capitalise them but please at least spell otousan right or better yet just use chichi-ue you cannot get that wrong, i stopped reading because this is quite painful, too much dialogue and where the fuck is alphonse? if he pops up in a later chapter i didn't read it but still. And before you bitch back at me for being anonymous and not writing a story i'm gonna tell you i did cos i did, it sucked but i still tried and i'm fucking fourteen but i can be a decent critic. So baka yarou, my rant is over... be glad cos i barely ever take the time to verbally lash people like this... i know i'm being harsh and don't let this discourage you from writing but please...fix up or i'll beat the black out of you which would be pointless if you're white but whatever. Later bitch!
Leocht chapter 2 . 5/9/2013
FFN cut off that last part of my review.
"otoosan" wouldn't make any kind of sense in Japanese. Just FYI.
Leocht chapter 1 . 5/9/2013
Honorifics in Japanese are never capitalized. And "father" is "otou-san" ”おとおさん”
IsumiChi chapter 46 . 4/10/2013
Hiho,
I just wanted to tell you: Nice fic! Although there are a few... well... a few more... grammar mistakes (well, I'm also no nativ speaker, but it's kind of... flashy ') it's fun to read. I liked your plot a lot. At first it were a little strange, Ed adopted so young, Winry beeing Fuhrers doughter, but it's AU isn't it?
I enjoyed reading your fic a lot and take my hat off to you.
Greetings,
IsumiChi
f.tastarossa chapter 46 . 4/3/2013
yay
very good till the end XD
f.tastarossa chapter 29 . 4/3/2013
ahhh lovely family screen
banzai XD
f.tastarossa chapter 28 . 4/3/2013
yaya
Edward... good job for telling Roy what he want to hear XD
f.tastarossa chapter 24 . 4/3/2013
me too
love Armstrong family XD
f.tastarossa chapter 11 . 4/2/2013
yep I love Roy and Riza too XD
f.tastarossa chapter 6 . 4/2/2013
you Bary
don't touch him just because he's cute XD
f.tastarossa chapter 4 . 4/2/2013
lovely father and son
can't find the word to describe
except cute!
f.tastarossa chapter 2 . 4/2/2013
yay love to read the story about Ed
when he was young
this is so cute XD
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