|Reviews for Trust and Betrayal|
| keverly chapter 5 . 8/25/2017
I would have kicked beast boy's sorry little pethic ass up and down the block and then told him about aborting the bady!
| keverly chapter 3 . 8/25/2017
I think raven did the right thing and beast boy is an idot for dumping poor raven!
| Rachel chapter 3 . 2/1/2017
Um listen she should of kept the child my name is Rachel Roth and really she should of kept the kid
| Betty Bear chapter 5 . 2/5/2016
Honestly, this story is lacking substance.
There's absolutely no detail! No setting! You just threw the characters, situations, and dialogue at us and expect us to understand it. Sadly, that's not how it works.
You need to establish what is going on, so you can have a good climax. A good plot. You want us to empathize with Raven and Robin. We can't do that if you just throw everything at us all at once. And you may that you have chapters. Well, my friend, chapters don't mean anything if you don't have a set pace (which you are seriously lacking). It feels like all this happened in one day.
Here's an idea. Why didn't you have Raven discover she was pregnant while Beast Boy finalizes his plans. In the meantime, Robin can't help but think of Raven. Let that be the focus in chapter 1; that way you have set up the exposition. In chapter 2, you can have Beast Boy's actions raise suspicion in Raven, then in chapter 3, Beast Boy leaves just as Raven is about to confess. Etc. etc. But don't forget to have a lot of detail. The more, the better. Also, make sure you mention temporal settings. It was like Beast Boy left for a day and then returned. How long did he stay in France?
We want to connect with the characters. Also, you want to make this as close to realistic as possible. Would Raven really just welcome Beast Boy with open arms after he made his intentions clear that he chose Terra over Raven? Would she really want to continue being friends with him? Could she even stay in the same roof as him? What about their friends? Starfire understood that Beast Boy left; would she really embrace and welcome him? Cyborg acts as Raven's older brother; would he accept Beast Boy? Would Robin do the same? These are very important questions you need to ask yourself before you start writing the dialogue. And if you say "yes" to any of them, then you obviously haven't done enough research or experienced the real world.
Do all those things, and your readers will understand the characters a little more, but if you don't do any of this then your story is just a thing to look at. It's not something worth the time and effort to read.
Should you read this, I hope I helped you.
| keverly chapter 4 . 1/5/2016
Oh yeah loved it!
| keverly chapter 2 . 1/5/2016
I hope beast boy comes back
| keverly chapter 6 . 11/2/2015
I thought that was pretty noble of raven to sacrifice herself for star fire!
| Guest chapter 3 . 11/2/2015
I'm kind of glad raven got rid of the baby because beast boy doesn't deserve to be a father after he left her so helpless!
| keverly chapter 2 . 11/2/2015
Beastboy doesn't deserve raven the way he treated her!
| keverly chapter 6 . 10/26/2015
I hope raven is okay!
| keverly chapter 5 . 10/26/2015
How could raven just forgive beastboy like that? I would have least mentioned the baby!
| keverly chapter 2 . 10/26/2015
I think beastboy needs a realatiy check!
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/24/2012
Was that in the TV series cause I saw all the episodes and I would have remembered this
| Zen chapter 9 . 1/18/2010
Hey. Passed by ur blog. Saw the stories. They aint bad.
| raerobgal chapter 9 . 12/27/2009
Wow! Great update :)
But now its finished... at least it had a good ending, with Robin and Raven together! Yay!
Well done on the whole story!