|Reviews for All That You Can't Leave Behind|
| TheRedScreech chapter 5 . 8/1
Lovely and reflective! I love your language use - it's so poetic!
Well done on this story! I loved every bit of it!
| TheRedScreech chapter 3 . 8/1
I love this chapter! Language has always fascinated me and the way you incorporated pitch, tone and vocabulary was excellently executed!
I loved the last line: "Nunca mejor dicho." Funny and exactly what Ratchet's thinking!
| TheRedScreech chapter 2 . 7/30
Amazing! I love Ironhide's need for intensity and Ratchet's willingness to accommodate him. I love the fluff at the end between the two 'Bots.
| TheRedScreech chapter 1 . 7/30
This is beautiful prose! Holy cow! I love the idea of Earth and ground and how desperate Jazz was for something like that because his whole being is founded on being and feeling.
| TrisakAminawn chapter 4 . 9/25/2012
This is a really cool fic. Intense characterization and very intelligent.
One question, though: what we call visible light is a section of the electromagnetic spectrum. Why on earth would Cybertronians 'see' in one narrow range of EMR, and 'teek' the rest? Shouldn't they just *see* a lot more than we do, with a lot more kinds of 'light?'
If you want to play with the human senses above five, 'touch' is divided into a lot of semi-distinct senses like nociception and proprioception.
I like all the different perspectives, and how the language division keeps coming up in different ways. And death.
| Nope chapter 4 . 2/7/2012
I kept getting pulled out of this chapter as it mentioned humans' "Five Senses". The 'bots clearly can connect to the internet, so why wouldn't they have looked up the fact that humans have far more than the basic five that are taught in kindergarten? Or is it just the author who didn't do the research? I'd love to see a human struggle to survive without their sense of balance, or proprioception, or the ability to feel pain (which is a different sense than touch).
Other than that, the story's good. No serious gramattical or spelling issues, and it flows well.
| luinrina chapter 5 . 10/31/2011
At first I had some trouble following the story, especially at the beginning with Jazz’s past (Did I understand that correctly that Jazz was formerly part of a gestalt similar to Menasor?). But the more I read, the more I liked this story. That you focused on one character only for each chapter was a great plus as it allowed for more depth and brought the characters closer to the reader. That being said, it was great to read what every single bot thought about what had changed and in what aspects their current lives were different to what they knew from Cybertron. And of course, learning what each bot misses most shows more of their character to us readers.
I really liked Bumblebee’s attempts at creating a verb for the sixth sense. It was exciting to read how aliens to our world and languages try to not only learn and use the language but contribute to it – even if we humans won’t have a need for the words they come up with, like ‘teek.’ But it shows how comfortable Bumblebee is with our planet and that he’s still a young bot at spark (compared to Ironhide for example). I very much loved where he lay in the sun with his panels absorbing the sunlight for energy; it was a nice picture to envision. I could easily imagine the entire atmosphere surrounding the four bots being very peaceful in that scene. Also, the relaxed companionship between Sam and Bumblebee was wonderfully shown. These two fit together perfectly.
I loved Ironhide’s chapter. It was interesting to read that he allowed Mikaela to work (and thus learn) on him, yet he prefers Ratchet operating on him if he’s damaged badly. I liked Ironhide’s comparison of pros and cons of letting Mikaela work on him instead of Ratchet. Or how he ‘explained’ to Ratchet that the training is necessary – not only for him and the NEST soldiers but the CMO too, to practice how to repair his comrades. I enjoyed reading your take on Ironhide’s and Ratchet’s relationship in general. Neither were ever short for witty remarks which brought in the humor.
I also very much liked Ratchet’s chapter. At first I didn’t quite know what exactly you meant with what Mikaela tried to explain to Ratchet in regard to overdoing it. But it became clear quickly afterward. The comparison between Mandarin and Cybertronian is fascinating; I’d never before thought seeing it from that perspective. Loved the end with Figueroa’s exclamation and Ratchet’s response to that. :D
Having Primes being the only ones able to dream had charm. I loved the entire background story of Optimus you introduced, and that each Prime had his own medic who had access to the ‘secret’ files of the Primes. It served beautifully to show that a Prime truly is someone important, like e.g. similar to a king with his personal staff. It makes me now wonder though: if Ironhide is suddenly able to dream, too, is that because the All Spark is gone? I would think so, but you never completely solved that little mystery. I’d love to know for sure. However, if I understood you correctly, the story is over. Pity, because I could read much more of it as it was beautifully narrated and enjoying to read. (You might want to set the story to “complete” to signal readers that you’re truly done with it. Otherwise people might think there’s more coming.)
Thanks for sharing the story with us.
| Anodythe chapter 2 . 3/12/2011
Heady stuff here. Had me shaking my head for a bit, especially on Jazz's chapter.
So many times we write about how the 'Bots fit in, how they go about as if there had been no catastrophies in their lives. I like how this story challenges that perception. What do these sentient machines REALLY feel, on a world so diametrically opposed to theirs.
There is more to read...and enjoy.
| femme4jack chapter 5 . 3/31/2010
This was deep and utterly beautiful and I appreciate how much you are making me think while entertaining me :-). I really love the Transport/Structure duality in both this story and the one where Mikaela "loses it". I know it has confused some, but I'd love to see you run with it and write more. I really appreciate how truly alien your Cybertronians are while remaining beings I can empathize with and love.
Your duality idea has given me an intriguing idea of wondering if the Cybertronians will learn to produce life in a new way, not through the Allspark, and not sexually (obviously that is totally overdone in fanfiction, though delightful and entertaining in its own way), but still having something to do with that duality.
I love your religious themes, and have found myself contemplating the destruction of the Allspark being akin to the death of God, only to find that "God" actually continues to live within each Cybertronian as I happen to believe God lives within all living beings. Perhaps the Cybertronians need only look within themselves and their relatedness to the rest of life (Organic and non-organic) to find that the Allspark is truly destroyed, just dispersed.
Anyhow, sorry for my rambling, I just love where your fiction takes my thoughts.
| Cedarleaf chapter 3 . 6/26/2009
Ah man, Ratchet and Bones in the same story would be like, 9,0 different kinds of awesome! I'm really loving all of these so far.
| Dvana chapter 5 . 1/9/2009
The image of Optimus laughing in the rain is, I think, one that will stick with me for a long time to come. What you've done here is really something special... not because I don't think there is depth to be had here-far from it!-but because we come to expect, well, *less* from fanfiction. I tried to explain to my husband what was so exceptional about these pieces, and I had a hard time expressing in a way he'd understand that you had done more with these characters and their unique situation than I would have thought possible.
Sorry if I ramble, or if the praise seems over the top; It's genuine, and I tend to babble a bit when I read something that's intellectually stimulating. Thank you for sharing this, and I look forward to reading whatever you might produce in the future.
Also, I have to congratulate you on reading Levinas. I felt like I needed a stick trying to get through his work. Or a shovel.
| Fire-Metal-Horse17 chapter 5 . 9/24/2008
Very random, as each chapter is totally different from the one before it.
Very well done!
| aditou chapter 1 . 9/19/2008
I agree with a previous reviewer in that this story lost me at a few points, particularly in consideration to the organa/organon/gestalt terminology. However, I applaud the ending to this thought-provoking piece; it swelled like an orchestral crescendo and literally moved me to tears. I saw Jazz's stand against Megatron as a metaphor for fully emerging from the gestalt and coming into himself, his own wants and, ultimately, his own desicions. I love that he chose the way he wanted to live and die. I love the concept you've created with the gestalt as well. This story's emotion is raw and rings through despite a few technical problems in the text itself. All in all, it was worth working through the confusion to see it.
| Calger chapter 1 . 8/20/2008
This was an interesting chapter, I like that you haven't abandoned your ideas from the Blaster story and that you seem to be working your way towards a resolution of those concepts that would allow that story to be finished. I also really like the idea of Jazz as a sort of alien transvestite (I guess this makes him a "hir"?), there's a great deal that could be done with that! However, I think in terms of a chapter of this story, it does fall a little short. The other vignettes are clearly short stories on a theme, each with a clear beginning, middle and end. This chapter feels like it breaks stylistically with the others, reading much more like a convoluted character study, or an essay, and consequently I found it a bit hard to follow in spots, especially where Jazz is being particularly reflective, which I actually have a hard time imagining him doing given his portrayal in the film, but I understand its necessity to get the concepts you want across. However, while your prose is normally on the more artistic, philosophical side, I think you went a bit too far this time, as I had to stop and reread paragraphs multiple times to work out what had just been said. Also some of the new terminology you're introducing just isn't explained well enough, such as organa/organon/gestalt. I know what a gestalt is from combiner teams like the Constructicons, and I gather that structure individuals are organa/organon? Though from their use in that section I honestly have a hard time telling which is singular and which plural. The prose style could have stood to be simplified in areas to make it more accessible, and help your concepts come across more clearly. I'm still left wondering how structures actually lived; under what circumstances did they separate from the gestalt, and why? If fact why even have a robot mode if their primary function can only be served when joined as a sort of hive mind?
How I think this could have been a much stronger chapter is if it were anectdotal rather than conceptual; some scene in Jazz's past that would have introduced all these same concepts, but would have been easier to understand and connected better with Jazz's ultimate fate at the end. In short, this chapter should have been more of a story the way the others are.
Moreover, I'm not sure I entirely buy the idea that Jazz stood his ground primarily because of his structural origins. I think the expression of his nature works well when he's struck with Megatron's weapon and is disoriented, and he's struggling to orient himself and connect with the ground. I felt that was one of the strongest passages. But, to have that as his primary reason for standing his ground, even more than his desire to protect Ratchet and the humans? I just don't know, it seems to me that serves to weaken Jazz's character just a little bit, that his sacrifice was more out of forces beyond his control than bravery. Or perhaps I'm misreading it.
In sum, there is much that is very good about this chapter, but it still feels like it could use tweaking to make it stronger.
| An Cailin Rua chapter 5 . 8/19/2008
Ah, one review per chapter, am apparently not allowed to review the appropriate one! So here goes...
So, Jazz had a sex change? Man, if it wasn't bad enough he was black, the tranny is *definitely* going down. Here is the odd thing about writing Jazz, and I found the same thing plaguing me when I wrote mine, that it's *really* hard to write something penetrative without condoning his treatment in the movie. That isn't to say that I think that's what you're trying to do here at all, but at the same time one finds themselves trying to rationalize the movie's rather... arbitrary character choices. Here you have the idea that Jazz ultimately stood his ground rather than running like a structure might have, and that nature ultimately working towards his untimely fate. Unfortunate, since he probably would have been the one who best liked it here on Earth, but ain't dat jus' how da watermelon slices (sorry, sorry). Really, it might have been interesting to bring in his past a sort of Other in relation to the other Autobots as feeding in to his inclination to speak in a dialect apart from the mainstream, even to the point of acting a caricature. But I suppose that would be another story unto itself.
The whole idea is interesting, of course, though I think people who aren't familiar with the stuff you've already written (in stories that have been deleted, no less) might have trouble with the terminology, especially the new ones. And I know I'm pandering to convention and all, but it might have been easier to follow if it was more narrative-driven rather than concept-driven. I know the concept is what you're ultimately trying to get across, but if there's no overlying narrative of which to speak then it's practically an essay. The structure is a bit more essay-remnant than story remnant, especially in terms with the whole 'three act' structure. I like the concept, and I'd almost like to see it be more in line with the Blaster story insofar as it could follow a sort of educating narrative about Cybertronian gender roles, if indeed you are trying to go there (you didn't mention it as a gender equivalent this time so I could be misreading).
Gender or purpose regardless, though, like the great Darius McCrary himself said; the brotha always gets it. ;)