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Reviews for Artemis Fowl: The Kurokaze Conspiracy
Guest chapter 3 . 3/6/2016
Neppy, will you ever finish this?
Ru-Doragon chapter 2 . 12/1/2013
...Does it SERIOUSLY not show the equal's sign in here anymore? -grumbles- Fuck this shit. -sighs and shakes head- Well, I hope you can see where the equals signs SHOULD be. -glowers at site- Fucking bastards. I'm messaging them about this bullshit, that's for sure. I've had more than enough of their CRAP in this matter.
Ru-Doragon chapter 3 . 12/1/2013
-flips lighter closed and watches in amusement as your pants burn- Liiiiiaaarrr. -starts singing- Liar, liar, pants on fire, nose as long as a telephone wire. -looks at you, smirking- Yeah, so, care to explain what happened to your whole "I've got this story almost entierly planned out so I should be updating fairly regularly" statement? Also, -points at your math- you SERIOUSLY need a tutor. Or to at least go back to grade school math, because that logic is SERIOUSLY screwed up and COMPLETELY INCORRECT. The 7 and the 5 are right, but you forgot the 0 and moved the decimal point 2 places to the left of where it should be. See, if fairies reproduced at the same rate as humans, which, according to this, is 0.3% of females conceiving every gestation period, then to find out what 0.3% of 2,500 fertile female fairies is, the equation would be this:
2500 (fertile fairies) x 0.3 (percentage of fertile fairies that conceive in a single 20 year gestation period) 750 (fairies born every 20 years)

-arches eyebrow- Understand? Now, let me explain what YOUR math and logic (and obviously S'Eleene Paris's somewhat as well) is saying. Let's go with a 100 year time span. So, here are YOUR mathmatical equations:
500 (fairy deaths every 20 years) x 5 (20 year spans [5x20100 years]) 2500 (fairies dead in a 100 year time span)
2500 (fertile fairies concieving every 20 years) x 5 (20 year spans [5x20100]) 12,500 (fairies born in a 100 year time span)
10,000 (the population of Haven) - 2500 (fairies dead in a 100 year time span) 12,500 (fairies born in a 100 year time span) 20,000 (future population of Haven after a 100 year time span)
20,000 (future population of Haven after a 100 year time span) - 10,000 (population of Haven) 10,000 (the increase in the population of Haven after a 100 year time span)

I'm sure you didn't need that last one, but I put it in there anyway. Now, I'm going to go above and beyond and do a little extra math of my own here. Let's say that a fairy female becomes fertile at age 100. Now, at the end of a 100 year time span, if ALL 2500 fertile females had concieved, that would mean that we've got 2500 fairies that have reached age 100. Let's also say that along with 500 fairies dying every 20 years, 500 fairies also reach menopause and so can no-longer concieve, every 20 years. Which means:
2500 (fairies that have reached age 100) / 2 (assuming half are female and half are male) 1250 (female fairies that are now age 100 and required to concieve)
500 (fairies reach "menopause") / 2 (assuming half are femaile and half are male) 250 (female fairies that can no-longer concieve)
250 (female fairies that can no-longer concieve) x 5 (20 year spans [5x20100]) 1250 (female fairies that can no-longer concieve)

Granted, all this really shows is that the number of fairies that can concieve remains constant, but even with the numbers remaining constant, that STILL means that, every 100 years, the population will increase by 10,000. Now, I'm going to show you one more series of equations, and, since I'm a reasonable female and not one that plans on conciving every 9-10 months therefore having to give birth I don't even want to think how many times, I'm rather disgusted by the idea that a female fairy is FORCED to go through labor this many times:
1,000 (the average fairy lifespan) / 2 (50% of the average lifespan, during which a fairy is fertile) 500 (years of fertility)
500 (years of fertility) / 20 (1 gestation period) 25 (fertile gestation periods throughout a fairy's life)
25 (fertile gestation periods throughout a fairy's life) x 1 (child per pregnancy per gestation period) 25 (children born to each fairy female in their life, not accouting for the rare, occassional set of twins)

-stares at you blankly, completely unfazed by the fact that your pants are almost completely burned away by this point- 25 children. Most people are not like the Dugger family. Most people do not WANT to have a child every 9-10 months. So, I would hope that you are at least smart enough to know that your logic has been completely and utter decimated. Consider it vaporized. -shakes head- Seriously dude, I don't know WHERE you learned how to do math, but wherever it was, you obviously need to go somewhere else to be taught.

-looks up at story again- Okay, maybe it's just because I have very rarely read anything that doesn't have Artemis and Holly as the main characters, but this is just SOOOOOO weird the way everyone is speaking and refering to each other. Although I do have to say, I ADORE Sweet Pea. -grins- He's just so much fun. And I LOVE how he calls Vinyaya "boss lady." -laughs- He is officially one of my favorite characters ever created. But, anyway. I...well, honestly, I just want to know the plot and how everything works out with Artemis and Holly and their 25 future children. Well, maybe not 25, but since males can father a child up until they die, their 3, possibly 4 if the lengthened life-span show in book 7 is any indication, children. So yeah, let's just go with 4 children that Artemis gets to meet. Because god knows he and Holly would probably just save his sperm and use IVF for the other 21/22 children she'd have to have so that she wouldn't have to have sex with some other random guy(s) in order to not die and leave her 4 relatively young children alone in the world. -yawns- Anyway, it was already way too late when I started this and now it's 6:27 a.m. and I have a 4.5 hour drive tomorrow so I'm gonna go to bed now. -gives a lazy, 2-finger salute- Night. Or morning, depending on where you are. -snaps fingers- OH! One other thing. Well, two actually. One, regarding an A/N from the smut story, Artemis is NOT a citizen of the UK, he is a citizen of IRELAND. Because, you know, he's IRISH. And lives in IRELAND. And the age of concent there is 17, not 16. Second, -glaces at the ashes that are all that's left of your pants- I'd suggest either replying to me and explaining whatever the enitre plot of this story was SUPPOSED to be, or actually finishing this story. Otherwise your pants are just going to keep burning up whever you try to put a new pair on. -looks up at your nose- Oh, and your nose will keep growing. -shrugs- Your choice. -glances at clock- GAH. 6:34 a.m. -grumbles- I need sleep.
Guest chapter 3 . 12/14/2012
Electricboa chapter 3 . 7/14/2012
This does have a lot of potential to really develop into a good story. I especially like how Root slowly realizes how far Section 8 would go to get what they want. That's something that's never really talked about, but I would imagine goes on behind the scenes.

I notice this hasn't been updated in years, I really hope you haven't abandoned the story completely, I'd really like to see where it goes.
Craftysquidz chapter 3 . 4/8/2012
Lord Jace chapter 3 . 8/1/2010
It's a shame that this has almost zero chance of being continued by now, the story started in chalice and continued here had a lot of originality and promise to it.
Lord Xantos A. Fowl chapter 3 . 6/28/2010
when do you plan on (if ever) contueing this it is good
Basic-bookworm chapter 3 . 7/29/2009
OMG! you can NOT be serious
Shump chapter 3 . 6/15/2009
This is an awesome story. If it isn't too much of a bother, could you please do some more chapters? It's just such a good story...
Moonlit Novel chapter 3 . 5/5/2009