Reviews for Lily's Charm
AvantGarde808 chapter 16 . 10/3/2008
I really like the slow process you have used so far concerning Harry and Severus' relationship. Too many times you see authors make the mistake of making the bond instantaneous and I have rarely seen it work especially when there is 4 or 5 years of hate and distrust between them. I like the fact that I am already at chapter 16 and they still find it hard to keep themselves in check around each other. It makes me appreciate and believe the possibility of this relationship, one which I do so adore.

Cheers, Ava.
AvantGarde808 chapter 15 . 10/3/2008
Yes, I know I have yet to go to bed, lol, but a another question just occurred to me. When I first started reading this story I thought the title was related to the charm Lily cast before Severus became a death eater. Then later I remembered that Harry is meant to look like the spitting image of James (all except the eyes, of course) so i thought that perhaps the charm involved concealing Harry's true appearance, however with Severus' charm being mentioned again i would almost bet on the fact that that is the charm the title names. So my question is this, does (and if so why)Harry look like James? I would assume that he does since there has been a distinct lack of mention about Harry looking/ being like Severus, beyond his sneer and temper. I am almost curious enough to keep reading to see if we find out. I am cursed with the fact that I perk up at the end of each chapter thus making me think one more will not hurt, lol.

In reviewing this chapter, it showed solid progression in the storyline with mentioning the charm, and the last bit about the Malfoy's as now we know what's up there. Relationship wise Severus and Harry seem to be coming along at their appropriate snail pace. I have found the whole story, except chapter 2 I think it was or 3, flows like a dream and you have in my humble opinion an excellent writing style. However, beyond all that typical stuff I have to say the most exciting aspect of this chapter was the tentative and then not so tentative first steps for Harry and Ginny. How cute they are!

Cheers, Ava.
AvantGarde808 chapter 14 . 10/3/2008
I just loved your sweet idea of a toy cauldron with accompanying plastic ingredients, it just so darling, as was Harry's preference for Severus. You write children exceptionally well I have to say, so well I am getting clucky, perhaps I should focus on the teenagers and all their associated problems to get unclucky, lol.

The big bad potions master is softening up and not a moment to soon, but I guess finding out the toad physically tortured your child will more likely have that effect than not. And what a much better note for them to end a conversation on, it seems they are improving. I can't wait to see where it all goes from here, but that will just have to wait for tomorrow because I need some sleep.

Cheers, Ava.
AvantGarde808 chapter 13 . 10/3/2008
Talk about a rough transition. One step forward, two steps back, seems to be the way when talking about the relations between two stubborn mules and Harry and Severus it seems, lol. All of this only whets the appetite or more of course, damn your brilliant writing skills.

Cheers, Ava.
AvantGarde808 chapter 12 . 10/3/2008
I am not sure what I missed, but I can't understand why Severus is cursing Peter, I double checked and it was Goyle who passed on Eileen's message, did Peter have another part to play?

I have to congratulate you one the way you write Dumbledore as he is just as baffling and irritating as J.K's. Oh and I just loved the normally unflappable Remus' fury on Harry's behalf.

This was yet another chapter, and suitably so, of high emotions with mixed messages and misunderstanding added to the mix. I am not sure how much more I can handle, lol, but my need to know more about your brilliant story continues to drive me to the next chapter. I am at this point worried I may skip sleep tonight to keep reading this story has become so addictive, lol.

I also have to mention that I really really like the way you write Ginny. A lot of the time, despite her being one of my favorite characters, I can't stand Ginny in fan fiction and it is almost always because she is too bossy, fiery etc. So far I haven't seen any of that, but rather she has shown a great listening ear and shoulder for harry to lean on. I love her common sense speaking which is very refreshing to Hermione very fussy manner (which you have pegged right to a tee). I can't wait to see where Harry and Ginny's relationship go since I am hardcore H/G, lol.

I am glad to see we are one tentative step closer to more friendly relations between Harry and Severus, though I am sure there will be many a rocky time ahead. On a side note I think Cloves was a good scent to pick for Severus as it is very distinctive and I think suitable and just because he is a potions master.

Cheers, Ava.
AvantGarde808 chapter 11 . 10/3/2008
um, wow. There is so much pain in this chapter its a wonder Severus isn't in a more emotionally stunted state than he has been the last 15 years. I think you handled all those raw emotions really well, but it is one hell of a lesson that Severus is more then the 'slimy git'. I am not sure death wouldn't have been kinder to Eileen but I guess that was the point although it is hard to feel sorry for her as she remained deplorable right to the end.
AvantGarde808 chapter 10 . 10/3/2008
My favorite bit of this chapter was the Ron and Harry moment in the middle of the night. So often is Ron lumped with less than mature reactions to things and I do so love it when we are presented with a endearingly supportive Ron. What can I say I am a big softie when it comes to touching boy/ men moments especially when the characters are not known for them.

As for the rest of the chapter, poor Severus, poor Harry! I can't imagine how awful it would feel to not only realise you had been living a lie for 14-15 years but also that your own mother was responsible, although I hope for Severus' sake that she isn't still alive as he might just kill her in that rage (or perhaps that is just me projecting, lol).

Cheers, Ava.
AvantGarde808 chapter 9 . 10/3/2008
The baby Harry and Severus scenes were gorgeous, it was so wonderful to catch a glimpse of an apparently unguarded Severus.

Oh what a roller coaster ride for poor Harry! I just knew nothing good would come of Eileen, what a bitch! And poor Lily, what a horrible choice to make, however, I am glad it was so horrible as it justified the lie admirably.

I need to know now what Harry will do knowing the truth.
AvantGarde808 chapter 8 . 10/3/2008
I absolutely loved this throw away line:

"Dumbledore was equally likely to present him with the recipe for lemon drops, as he was to give Harry a complicated reason for offing Voldemort by sundown the next day"

The truth of the statement made me laugh out loud and in turn I received curious looks from my fiancee, lol.

I am very excited that you brought Remus back to Hogwarts, I know some people consider it a fan fiction cliche to do so, but when done well I really enjoy his presence and his ability to play the reliable/ mentoring adult for the Trio.

I thought it was great how Harry made a stand (or two) in Dumbledore's office about the occlumency lessons, all I kept thinking was Go Harry!

This chapter had a very ominous title and subsequently did not disappoint. I did wonder how things came about as they had and this explains at least a little of what went on for it to be as it is in the present time. How awful for both Lily, but especially Severus. I think now in retrospect though that for whatever reason Lily had for lying (to protect Severus or Harry or both) that had to be the most effective lie you could tell. And poor Harry, he is going to be terribly confused, he really should have looked at those other memories if only for my curiosity, lol.

Cheers, Ava.
AvantGarde808 chapter 7 . 10/3/2008
Wow Eileen is a real bitch (pardon my language), you certainly spared her no mercy when developing her character, lol and of course I love it! I certainly do not hope to find any redeeming qualities in her since I have a hunch that she is going to be responsible for something really terrible.

I jumped in excitement when I read about Dobby, as I simply adore him and I love that he is the Snape's house elf, so yay! And I am cautiously optimistic that the ice might finally be breaking between James and Severus, there is nothing like a tragedy or something close to it to make friends out of enemies.

On to the next chapter.

Cheers, Ava.
AvantGarde808 chapter 6 . 10/3/2008
Just one thing I would like to point out is that I am not sure whether it was just me but it took me a minute to orient myself with the story without an Express trip or a Welcoming Feast. I think this was probably impacted by the fact that the previous chapter was a jump back in time so as a reader I didn't have current events fresh in the mind, but it wasn't immediately apparent that we were in fact at Hogwarts now. Although this could have just been me.

You definitely have me intrigued as to what is going on with Draco though, he was entirely to civil in that Potions class and that ambiguous conversation with Severus.

Cheers, Ava.
AvantGarde808 chapter 5 . 10/3/2008
O a question popped up in my head when I read this chapter, if I remember rightly and Severus is 'hiding out' with Lily and James and Peter knows of this fact does this mean that Peter is not a spy and the demise of the Potter's comes about another way? Regardless, I am enjoying these little flash backs and pieces to the puzzle that they provide and as always i just loved the Lily/ Severus interaction so thanks for that.

Cheers, Ava.
AvantGarde808 chapter 4 . 10/3/2008
Poor Harry didn't take that too well, understandable, but still. I liked that if anyone went into the pensieve with him that it was Ginny because I kinda think any kind of reaction from either Ron or Hermione at that sensitive point would have annoyed me, as much as I love them both. I did however, love Ron's very obvious loyalty to Harry with the punching 'the git' comment.
AvantGarde808 chapter 3 . 10/3/2008
I have to admit being amused by Severus' dislike of comfy, squishy chairs and my sharing a love for them as Lily does. The whole notion adds a little bit of humanism in Severus I think and indicates a little as to what Lily can see in him. Although I might be with Lily about the chairs I am certainly with Severus on the P.D.A, lol. Your Lily and Severus are so cute together.

I find a lot of this situation very sad, not only the need for James to do what he did (pretending to be Lily's husband and Harry's father) but also the state of James and Severus animosity. I think it is so useless to hold onto such a negative emotion from your childhood, but that is a reality more often then not and I really felt your writing did justice to the situation. I liked Severus bit of internal gloating when James first arrived and James' in return at the apparent state of relations between Severus and Lily, it added depth and realism to the situation and was a very effective yet gentle lead in to how awful these two can get when dealing with each other.

I like your use of Eileen Prince so far in this story and I have to admit to never thinking of her playing such a role before. I know we haven't seen a terrible lot of her yet, and some part of me hopes we don't really see much of her since she is so awful, but I like her being the threat to Severus and Lily's happily ever after as it is a new approach in fan fiction for me.

I am anxious to get to the guts of the story at this point and see how the whole 'Severus is Harry's father' thing goes, but at the same time I am enjoying this necessary background information. I think I have said it before but I just love your Lily and Severus together, in fact so far I really like how you write all the characters we have seen. Harry and friends have been very in character thus far, James and Lily are as I imagined them and I think Severus is in character too at this point I just think that like with Lily and James you don't get to see a whole lot of his facets in canon, so really who is to say they aren't like this. I am sure we will soon be heading way out of canon territory, but if you continue to stay true to your characters and story as I have been told you do I can't see that as being a problem for me in fact it will probably be the opposite.

Cheers, Ava.
AvantGarde808 chapter 2 . 10/2/2008
Gosh I am kinda relieved you didn't dwell to much on Harry's obligatory time with the Dursley's as it is always awful in one way or another and from a fan fiction perspective can get very tiring.

I absolutely loved your addition of the Harry Remus talk (a development of a relationship between Remus and Harry from POA on and Remus grief over Sirius was just some of the things I missed in canon). I would have liked to have seen it go on for longer, however I understand that that isn't really the point of the story and also it was probably very characteristic of such two reserved people, so I am not too disappointed. The hug though just got to me, as it should have.

Hermione's one-sided debate made me giggle as did the goblin backing up a few paces.

In general the chapter seemed a little rushed jumping from the Dursley's to the Weasley's and chatting with Remus then the end of summer and the trip to Diagon Alley, however I can understand why since the pensieve is the whole point of this chapter (or so it seemed to me) and I would say its safe to assume plays an important role in getting from A to B. A pretty good beginning chapter over all though.

Cheers, Ava.

p.s if my reviews seems a little disjointed I am writing them as I go since I find it easier for a more authentic reaction from me and it also enables me to remember to comment on the things I want to, instead of forgetting by the end of the chapter, lol.
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