Reviews for Things Pile On
Guest chapter 6 . 4/27/2013
Well I guess you're not writing fic anymore, which is a shame because you write really well. If you ever get back to this one, you should seriously consider shortening it. There's A LOT of unnecessary details in this fic. Parts of it really bore me, despite the fact that your writing is good. I was dying during the conversation they had about what Sasuke was going to make Naruto for breakfast (who the fuck cares?!) and during the conversation Ino and Sakura had about what happened in biology. (WTF. We already saw the whole thing for ourselves; we didn't need to hear Sakura describing it to Ino at length!)

It's way too much doing a chapter for every PERIOD in the school day! It would be way too much doing a chapter for every day in the fic. Fourteen chapters for a fic that spans two weeks is really overdoing it, but 7 or more chapters for one very short school day is just insane. Would you write another 7 or more chapters for tomorrow's events, and another 7 or more chapters for the next day, and so on and so forth?

Think about a sitcom and how fast-paced those are. That helps keep things lively and fresh. You don't have to write so little that we're confused about what's going on, but try to maintain a happy medium between too much and too little. It doesn't really surprise me that this fic is unfinished because I feel like you must have gotten just as bored writing it as I was reading it. And it didn't have to be that way because, again, you're a good writer!
Midnight Essence chapter 1 . 6/4/2011
I miss this fic... *crys and prays to the yaoi gods for updates and completion*
Kamaete chapter 6 . 12/6/2009
Aah! So lovely,I loved that discription of the CPR demonstration... I can't wait 'till it's Naruto's turn! (I'm pretty sure this is fangirl blush/yell time) This is an amazing story... It's deep and realistic and I can't wait for more, the hints you're dropping are getting me worked up! I wanna know what happened to Sasuke and Naruto! aack! Please update soon, that'd be awesome... this story is awesome!
CynicalTerror chapter 6 . 9/22/2009
Awesome story by an amazingly talented author! :)
acutes chapter 6 . 1/31/2009
Geh. I suck. And I do know that. I thought I reviewed this chapter until I went through my "reviews" page and saw that it didn't go through or something. _ Dah, well, I'm back~!

I think I might remember some things in the original review (combined with mine right now):

From the top, (*gasps*) CPR! When I first read the chapter title, I thought of... ahem, some naughty things, eh? So I was kinda sad (*sniffle*) that they didn't actually kiss, but only that piece of whatcha-ma-call-it was between their purty lips! [

I like the attitude you put on Tsunade. Most other fan fictions would have her either "sucking up" to Naruto or doing weird things... I don't think I phrased that correctly, but I like the way you portrayed her in the story.

Poor Naruto. Temari would flash him a grin too! He's attractive of his own accord, not just with Sasuke's pretty looks and Shika's beyond-smartness-lazy.

Sakura has a shitty attitude. Pfft. "Loser day"? How mean! And charging at Ino. That just reminds me of a bull with its horns ready to attack.

The "fight-for-Sasuke" has hints for pairings, righht? 'Cuz everyone's "i-wuv-ya"s come out. Toga eh? Sasuke gets all these weird people lusting after him. I'd bet any other "normal" high school guy would love to be in his place. Karin's a bit... um, straightforward. Doing that to poor Sasuke. Is he okay? Like, he won't run around to try to blow her up, right?

Hinata... The crush she has is still there, but is Neji jealous too? Does he wantie Hinata? The part I don't get is that he was thinking of Naruto as a "fucking, little Nine-tailed spawn". If this is AU and they're all in a high school setting, what's the point of calling Naruto this? Or is this just another hint about something else?

There's even a debate about mouthpieces... if only Neji didn't have Chouji as a partner and Tsunade didn't think of it, the two boys there would have kissed for some REAL CPR training. (*grins*) - ... P.S. Neji was going to let Chouji die, right? Bad Neji, bad!

The boys are questioning their sexualities... and sanities.. Yay! - Wait, is "sanities" even a word? o0

Shizune and Tsunade. Hmm... Never thought of it that way, but I lubbed this part: Sitting up Tsunade put her hand on Shizune’s wrist, “Since he is not breathing”—(“bitch,” Shizune muttered)—“next we need to check for a pulse.”

It was hilarious. Of course, Naruto's "holy shit, that's hot" ruins any mood that might have been there.

Then, they start the awesome scene when Sasuke finally begins the CPR and we read the awesomeness. It's so adorable and describes their relationship with each other...

In "“Well, listen more carefully next time,” Was their teacher’s only reply", the "was" doesn't need to be capitalized.

In addition, "alright" is technically not a word. It ought to be "all right".

I think you were trying to type "outburst" instead of "outbrust" in "But after that one outbrust Naruto had remained silent."

... It's been over half a year? o0

... (*puppy-eyes*) Please, please, please update soon, eh?

I'll give ya chocolate chip cookies? Or sugar? Or ice cream?

(note: the food will be virtual)
Navi chapter 6 . 1/1/2009
Happy New Year, fools!


You know what that means.




Would be entirely necessary.

Rikado chapter 6 . 12/6/2008
I'm surprised this doesn't have all that many reviews. I thought it was absolutely amazing. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter! Please update soon?
Reinamy chapter 6 . 10/16/2008
This story is just great! Im really looking forward to "see" Naruto and Sasuke's relationship progress! This chapter (length and contents) was just fab, and I cant wait for an update!

shadow-of-a-demon chapter 6 . 8/31/2008
I'm really, really liking this story. It's just so damn addictive and I'm sad to find no more chapters to read at such a dramatic point! Man, you have some way with words. I'm ACTUALLY getting super pissed with Sakura and Ino in this fic so I can only imagine how Sasuke must be feeling. XD

Amazing job and I do hope you update soon. I want to know if Naruto's gonna kill/kiss/reveal his "problem" to sasuke or what not.
loved-less chapter 6 . 8/11/2008

Black-Sky-Loves-Me chapter 6 . 7/30/2008
Hehe that was AWESOME! I loved how Naruto reacted to the CPR, it was so great. Excellent job :]
Heaven Cobra chapter 6 . 7/30/2008
More story. Now. NOWNOWNNOWNOWNOW! I sound like a spoiled 5-year-old, but it's the truth. Update soon! I feel like the story is finally speeding up...:)
Heaven Cobra chapter 2 . 7/26/2008
Cool story, am reading more! w00t!
Feyri chapter 6 . 7/15/2008
Awesome yo.
BabyIn-A-Corner chapter 6 . 7/12/2008
wow CPR has never been sexier. More please!
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