|Reviews for For the Love of His Son|
| dragonbetty chapter 15 . 2/23
I really liked your story. Not too sugary, but Coyle have useda little more action. Thanks for the good read.
| Guest chapter 5 . 2/23
I wanted to like this fic and give it a chance, but Naruto is such a Gary Stu.
First you make him into this object of great pity because he's been hated and abused for the majority of his life. (And just when it seems like he's finally going to be safe, you torture his clone so we can pity him some more. As the self-insert character, no one can be more loved or pitied in the fic than Naruto.)
Then you make him into this kindhearted innocent (despite all his tragic suffering) who everyone immediately likes at Sasuke's castle because he's oh so brave and courageous and nice. (He saved a baby; you can't get any nicer than that.)
And finally, where he truly earns his Gary Stu credibility, is that you've given him super-special, ultra-awesome abilities that nobody else even comes close to. He magically saves the baby's life and makes himself its parent when it's biologically impossible to. He can form thousands of clones when everyone else can't form a single one. He learned the ransengan just by watching it, and perfected it after only a few months of training himself. (Not even manga Naruto could have done all that. It took him years to master the rasengan - initially he had to have his clones help him and couldn't do it on his own - and he had a teacher!)
Aside from not liking Naruto a whole lot, I also have to say that I don't care about the main pairing very much. It seems incredibly forced. Naruto and Sasuke just instantly started liking each other for whatever reason. I don't feel like they have any sort of connection whatsoever, aside from the baby. Having Sasuke wonder why it feels "right" to hold a person he just met is silly. Same with Naruto telling the baby, right after he woke up, daddy is here now and will protect them both. How was he able to form such a favorable impression of Sasuke in the 10 seconds they were together before he passed out?
And finally, what's the plot of this fic? Does it even have one? Everything feels random. Naruto brought Sasuke the baby, then he wandered around the castle, Gaara showed up, there was some lovey-dovey stuff, they got married, Naruto got pregnant, Orochimaru made his move, then the fic ended. That's not a plot, that's a soap opera. No, scratch that. Even soap operas have story arcs that lead somewhere. An actual plot has a goal, an end point. For example, the classic shounen plot is: a bad guy shows up and threatens the peace, the good guys have to figure out how to beat him, so they train, fight him, and win. The end point is to defeat the villain and save humanity. But what was the end point to this fic? Defeating Orochimaru? The heroes didn't do a single thing to defeat him. They waited for him to show up and then reacted. Orochimaru was incidental, something to create drama, but certainly not what the fic was about.
In short, there was no tension, no climax, no resolution. (No beginning, middle, and end.) There was no problem the heroes were trying to overcome or goal they were trying to reach. Perhaps if the story had been about Naruto's journey to the castle it might have worked better. That is to say, you could have framed this as a story about Naruto's personal growth, for example. The story would have a clearer trajectory if it had started with the delivery of the baby, showed how the baby's birth finally gave Naruto the courage to escape Orochimaru, showed everything Naruto endured getting the baby to the castle (and how those trials and tribulations made him stronger), showed Naruto meeting and falling in love with Sasuke (and how trusting Sasuke was also a big personal step for Naruto), and then finally had Naruto go out to defeat Orochimaru once he arrived at the castle. In that case, the point of the fic would be to show Naruto's determination to overcome his past.
There's not much of a trajectory here. Shit happens, and then there's a happy ending. Or maybe it's more correct to say this fic hails from the Twilight school of plotting where nothing happens in the first 75% of the story and then a sort-of plot kicks in at the end (Naruto's kidnapping).
Very sorry. I liked the concept of the fic, but not its execution.
| Vincent Claudius chapter 15 . 12/21/2013
THAT WAS SOOO BEAUTIFUL! I love this fanfiction!
| ChibiNekoBandit chapter 15 . 11/10/2013
Loved this story! It's beautiful.
Very powerful and intense too.
Thanks for posting and finishing it ( :
| Nameless Libertad chapter 15 . 11/1/2013
Amaaazing ! I just devoured it.. sorry but it was soooo goood.
| jasmaine.anderson.31 chapter 15 . 10/5/2013
HOW DARE YOU END THIS IN SUCH AN AMAZING WAY, HOW DAAARE YOUUU!
| Vanillamoo chapter 15 . 9/3/2013
So cuteee but its so sad that you made itachi such a bitch.. and made him love sakura T.T
| ChristinaEST chapter 15 . 8/31/2013
So..sniff...cute! Amazing writerawesome characters ingenious plotamazingly and awesomly ingenious story! And...Wonder Weasel?! I believe i have never laughed so hard in my life...
| TamiLove chapter 14 . 8/10/2013
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Sooooooooooooo cuuuuuuuuuteeeeeeeee! Favorite Naruto story ever! I cried so much during the wedding scene and when Naru was talking to the baby! I laughed, I cried, I screamed: CHOPPA CHOPPA MUTHAFUCKAS when Sasuke killed Itachi- and I loved every minute of it! I have a good feeling that I'll be re-reading to this story for ever and ever.
| TamiLove chapter 2 . 8/10/2013
This ...I'm in love! I've been hesitant to read this for whatever reason and God, I'm so glad I did! It's hilarious and adorable. I must read more or I'll die a sad and withered olds man. And I'm a lady!
| KDTBpantherwulf chapter 15 . 8/8/2013
OMGTHATWASSOFUCKINGBEAUTIFULANDITHINKIMGONNACRYCUZ ITWASSOSWEEEEETTT! I had no idea what to expect when I picked this to read, but I gotta say I'm definitely satisfied! Drama, suspense, romance, bad guys that you love to hate, good guys that you love to love, genius babies, sarcastic yet caring giant masses of evil chakra, and a little bit of smut and fluff spritzed in between. The perfect mixture for a wonderful fic! I LOVE IT! The only thing it's missing it Kabuto's death scene, which I personally would love to see. I hate him more than Orochimaru.
| KDTBpantherwulf chapter 6 . 8/8/2013
Damn, that was quick. One second it's like, 'ZOMG AH LURVZ U SO MUCH!' And the next it's like, 'Ugh! You emotionless bastard! *storms off*' Mood swings much? I think Naru's pregnant...
| Meel Jacques chapter 4 . 8/1/2013
| Meel Jacques chapter 3 . 8/1/2013
| Meel Jacques chapter 2 . 8/1/2013
OMG! OMG! OMG!