|Reviews for Harry Potter And The Betrayal|
| Guest chapter 9 . 5/17
Same mistake... or confusion. Sirius dead or alive?! One second he's dad, the other second in flashback he's glaring at Harry.
| Guest chapter 5 . 5/17
There's some mostake. In the first you mentioned not being sad when his godfather died i.e. Sirius. But then Sirius was one of those who believes that he committed those crimes. So can you please rectify that? In case AU diverges from canon and Sirius never died, then please remove that line about his lack of sadness when his godfather died.
| Guest chapter 4 . 5/17
Will Harry be getting the stolen money back? Please make him contact Gringotts.
| Guest chapter 2 . 5/17
Can you please clarify one thing? I never really understood 'consecutive life sentences'. I mean, isn't a pife sentence until death? So how can you have a sentence for more than a lifetime? Always baffles me :/
| rachel.weck.5 chapter 11 . 5/10
...You are repeating yourself. You have already showed both the memory of Pettigrew being alive with the freedom of serius with money as well as showing what happened in the graveyard. You did it with a penseive memory
| busard chapter 15 . 4/8
There is something very wrong with this chapter ! Harry sue Ginny for burning his familie's memento, and now he give her some of his jewellery ! Non ! Just no ! She had take part of Hedwige's killing and he call her a sister ! You must have wrote Luna, or I really don't understand your way of thinking. If someone so much had hurt my dog, I would have ripped his eyes out, so I can't understand that he forgive her, no matter what. Otherwise it was a good story.
| confused chapter 9 . 4/1
Okay I am confused.
When harry woke up he kicked his dogfather off the bed, but here you are saying he couldn't cry when Sirius died... did I miss something?
| Sal Azar chapter 10 . 11/21/2014
It seems it cant get through this chapter, I've grimaced to much and I've barely read half. Very poorly written in my eyes and very... Fast. To me, there is very little detail - and do not get me started on how they talk, it's just so... Revolting to put it nicely. I mean, it's very choppy. It seems you don't connect with the characters well enough. I mean, 'I will make sure he can't sue me I'm going to the library,' 'aargh why cant he just die so I can get the money Dumbledore promised me' Weasley may be an idiot but he would say that aloud not to mention Granger, suing involves the Muggleworld, the Wizengamot doesn't deal with such things like that, therefor it would not be in the library. I think I'm going to stop reading now and move on to another story, good try though. Ciao.
| Azar chapter 9 . 11/21/2014
| delete-account-please 6143978 chapter 15 . 9/27/2014
Mighty fine story really liked it off to read Harry Potter and the Betrayal of a Mentor.
| delete-account-please 6143919 chapter 15 . 9/26/2014
Perfect story liked it a lot so now off to read Harry Potter and the Betrayal of a Mentor.
| AerynS chapter 8 . 5/24/2014
I love your fertile imagination and prolific writing. The only thing I ask is that you use spell check please. It's a bit distracting when you're absorbed in the plot and bam! spelling error. Especially the same ones repeatedly. d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y
Thank you for listening.
| nightpurr chapter 15 . 4/30/2014
Hello, with the deepest heart felt words. I say to u that u r truly one of my favorite fan fiction writer. I do so enjoy your skilful written stories. I just wish I could remember which ones I have already made a comment & posted on. You see every so often I go back to reread one r more or your forgive me if I repeat on posting on the ending of the same stories.
Do u always try to compete your writings? I know they are some I am watching for. I try to keep a lookout for updates or sequels.
They r too many to name I know unbutton, Burnt & Sane to name a few.
Thanks for sharing your talent with your great number of fans, as myself.
| youreshyte chapter 7 . 4/16/2014
I don't think I've ever had the displeasure of reading such bullshit in all my life.
Please pick up a dictionary and re-learn the english language.
It's a shame, because this story could have been so good if a literate human being had written it.
| Gravity's Child chapter 15 . 3/8/2014
Grammar is a little odd and there's a little bit of spelling, but the story itself is highly entertaining. And there's no sign of the mpreg, so that doesn't have to be part of the summary. I'd watch my capitalization, and the dialogue, seeing as it's a little awkward in some places. Otherwise, the story itself is highly entertaining and definitely worth taking the time to read.