|Reviews for A Village Hidden In Hope|
| Mackon chapter 5 . 7/21/2011
I cant believe its been 2 years since this brilliant story was live!
Please please please! consider picking it up again. It really is unique and stand out even amongst all the 10,000s of Naruto fanfictions on the web not to mention great fun and just dripping with possibility's of where the plot could go and what Naruto could see and do in the Star Wars universe.
| gazz uzumaki chapter 6 . 6/21/2011
PLEASE WRITE MORE.
It was just getting to the best part.
| anon chapter 6 . 5/27/2011
Please update! This story is great I really want to see where you planned to take it.
| Deadzepplin chapter 6 . 5/15/2011
I like it carry on
| sidiousclone chapter 6 . 4/27/2011
shame youve not updated this in a while could be a good story
| Fayari chapter 6 . 4/13/2011
Awww... no update?
| carrytoomuch chapter 6 . 3/18/2011
Hey you still alive? Hope you come back soon, I am following several of your stories.
| FullMentalPanic chapter 6 . 3/8/2011
I really got excited seeing how Naruto is trying to teach Anakin ninja stuff, and I hope you expound on it. I like how you introduce the Hutt's liaison in the beginning as just 'well-fed' and not fat, at first anyway. It's a good reflection on how extra pounds in that environment show wealth and prestige. Also, Anakin's premonitions of nastiness in the form of sickness is a really nice touch and a good reminder of his abilities. Man, I love how Naruto steps in for Anakin. In this one particularly, I enjoyed how you used Naruto's skills to emphasize how much he wants to protect his family, and how much he can do to achieve that. How he sneaks into Watto's and walks down the wall, how he tells the people who come to inspect Anakin to step off, I really loved it. Naruto's the big brother after all! Even if Anakin doesn't take a super-active role in getting the means of their freedom in this chapter, you use his character quite well. Again, you do a great job illustrating how young Anakin is. He reasons both with the shrewdness of an adult and with the impulsiveness and injustice of a child. You see the mistakes he makes, like his anger at Naruto and the way he tries to make Naruto leave, but also his struggle with and his attempts to make the right decisions and to, essentially, grow up. You understand it. The vision that Anakin has in this one was incredibly effective. You were able to communicate a whole lot about how nasty and crippling their situation would be if Anakin and Shmi did get sold to Boroka. I especially liked the bit where Anakin refers to the fox as that awful, unclean power. Great summary of how the fox appears to Anakin, and everything the kiyuubi embodies. All that in one paragraph,nice.
Keeping Shreevok out of the way for the fight was good, but I hope you utilize the character again later on. Good job with the fight with the dragon and how Naruto teams up with the fox to get it done. Naruto's reluctance to kill the dragon was well communicated, but what was really affecting was how he didn't leave it half dead and in pain, but finished the job by taking its head off. Really good job with how defeating the dragon got Naruto a free pass with the sand people. You also do a commendable job on integrating and describing a lot of different alien species into this story. The Skywalkers are free. This was a very satisfying chapter.
So, Jedi. BTW, Qui-gon actually sounds like he's got a sense of humor in this one :). With this timeline, Anakin will already be free when the Jedi show up and possibly be an established pod-racing ace, or maybe he gave that up now that he doesn't have to anymore. If Naruto is starting to get a reputation on Tatooine, would the Jedi look for him specifically when they have to make their emergency landing on Naboo? Does Naruto develop a thing for Padme too, or is his heart set on pink hair and green eyes? Jedi may have boring dialogue, but especially if you contrast it with Naruto and his off-the-wall energy and remarks, it could be pretty funny. It seems as though they don't do a total separation between family members, as is what usually happens when the Jedi of that era took a candidate. I really want to hear more about it. Since he's no longer a slave, would Anakin have any motivation to become a Jedi, or would he just want to stay with his family? He may want to learn skills that he can out do Naruto with. Do the Jedi show interest in Naruto as well? I kind of feel that Naruto would be very against Anakin going with the Jedi, because it would entail that he leave Shmi. As I said, I wasn't over anxious for this one to be continued, because I feel like a lot of pressing plot points are taken care of. Since you seem like you're planning on continuing it though, I'm really looking forward to what you do next!
| FullMentalPanic chapter 5 . 3/8/2011
If your Star Wars fic is having issues...just add Wookies _. I really admire how well you can tell the story from different perspectives. "No one else marked the female's passing, so Shreevok howled for her, hoping her spirit would understand, even if he didn't know her language." Even more than the fact that he's fighting for his wife and child, this established for me that Shreevok, good job with Wookie names btw, was a decent and honorable sort. "We own his family. He's free to leave at any time. Isn't that right, fur bag? I guess we could make up your loss by hiring out your mate and brat. The brothel in Mos Toka is looking for new exotics." Wow, what a slimebag, but this and Shreevok's reaction, or lack thereof, really establishes what the dynamic between he, his family, and his 'master' is. I don't know if the show does the same thing, but I think you're very creative with how you use Naruto's cloning and various other shinobi skills. The rapidity with which Naruto decides to save his opponent really makes you admire the guy.
I like the role you give Anakin in this one, and it was interesting to see how you described his use of the force to sweeten the deal he's trying to push with Frecosh. Anakin really performs commendably, and then the deception is revealed in the end anyway _. You've probably already thought of this, but even though Chakra and the Force are different, it seems like they are sometimes applied in similar ways and the mechanisms for doing so might sometimes be similar as well. So, could Anakin and Naruto help each other out with Chakra/Force skills?
Anakin's skills and contributions really show in this one, and I like how it's not a one side give and take situation. Ahh, C-3PO, what would Star Wars be without your prissy input. I'm enjoying he's less than finished state in this!
| FullMentalPanic chapter 4 . 3/8/2011
The animosity that Naruto has for Sasuke is very comically rendered, that Uchia is going to have an undeserved reputation preceding him if he ever shows up on Tatooine. Naruto's quest for ramen is a good example of how you keep your characters canon in a not entirely canon setting. The ease with which Naruto deals with all the local riff-raff is great, especially because you still know how to keep in check by having him try to keep incognito or having issues that he can't just fight his way out of.
On that note, I love the spectacular scene where Naruto takes out the bandits who are set on raiding the slave quarters. The way Naruto gets those skanks out of the Skywalkers house was great. It was really humorous while at the same time the reader can see it from Shmi's perspective and feel the horror and just how vile those gang members were. What was really fantastic though was how Naruto takes down the gangs. The way he puts it so simply, "Yes, bad, now dead." Was really fantastic. You do have them analyze the killing more later, which is good, but I just love the almost innocence that he has as he unhesitatingly destroys something evil. Shmi's character is really good, 'good' characters can sometimes come off as kind of boring, but you really feel for Shmi and appreciate her. The conversation between her and Naruto about killing the gang was very well constructed. The first time I read, "I am shinobi, a killer, to protect my precious people" it really got to me. At that point I didn't know if there were any morals or values driving the Naruto series, but I thought that if that line actually encompassed the series...it could be pretty cool.
I really enjoyed how the Village Hidden in Hope has adopted the scratches on Naruto's face as a mark of respect for him. I especially like this chapter because of how Naruto and Anakin are growing together. It was a really touching moment where Naruto calls Anakin his brother and stands up for him against Sebulba. Seeing Sebulba get trounced was nice too. Anakin and Naruto are really developing a great brotherly relationship where they both annoy each other, but still stick up for one another. Naruto really seems to be the one who is taking point in the relationship (the one who usually tries to smooth things over or develop it further), which is great, because it very firmly puts him in the older brother role. You do an impressive job of conveying how young Anakin is while still giving him a lot of skills and street smarts. VERY interesting scene where Anakin sees the fox in his dream.
I heartily enjoy fight scenes, ones where stuff actually happens and aren't actually 70% no skill power shots, and you do a fine job writing them. Even with all his skill, I'm glad you didn't have Naruto come out totally unscathed, it's more realistic that way. It's a nice touch to have them utilize Watto's gambling habits to get fights. I really enjoyed that bit where Naruto has to keep his boastful tendencies to himself so he doesn't change the odds against him.
| FullMentalPanic chapter 3 . 3/6/2011
Unfamiliarity with different plumbing systems are also good ways to show the differences between the two worlds _. The bit where Jiraiya scoffs at Naruto's skills of an artist was great. It was like there was a very sweet moment that shows Naruto accepted into a family and Jiraiya completely dispels it by commenting on the lousy drawing style. Another thing I really like about your work is that you're not afraid to instigate massive changes, like Naruto's influence helping to knock the Hutts out of power and change the fate of an entire planet. I don't know if poetic justice is the right word, but it's awesome how he's in a place where he's totally respected and he's had a huge impact for good.
I like they way you do things from Naruto's perspective, how even in dire circumstances everything is shot through with humor, such as when some hoodlum tries to hold him up with a 'hair-dryer'. Also, it's really great to see he's different ethical take on everything. He doesn't seem to have any problem with a bit productive larceny, he wants to protect and help Shmi and Anakin, and he's immediately willing to kill to do so. He's skills, loved how he can be clueless and still wander through a wretched hive of scum and villainy, and his mode of operation come into great contrast with what Shmi and Anakin are used.
I really approve of how Anakin and Naruto don't really hit it off right away, and for more reasons than just the freaky nightmares. You can sympathize with both the characters and it's really cool how their relationship together is growing and turning into one that can benefit them.
Just thinking, you should have some obliging Sith have a throwdown with Jiraiya. It be really interesting because Jiraiya isn't really one of those fighting with purity and honor types, as far as I can tell, or other traits associated with the Light side. So it be interesting to see a character, who in a pure Star Wars tale, might be dabbling in the dark side not doing so, but still taking some pot shots. You may already do this with Naruto and his Kiyuubi prisoner though.
Wow, this story really draws you in!
| FullMentalPanic chapter 2 . 3/6/2011
The only Naruto I've ever seen were about 6 episodes during the fight in the forest with Gaara during the Chuunin exams, and I wouldn't have been able to describe it that way directly after watching it. My knowledge is pretty much derived from loads of parodies and fanfictions. As such, the first time I read this chapter I was really uninterested with Jiraiya and tended to skim those parts to get back to Star Wars and whoever this intriguing Naruto chap was. Now, having read a few more fanfictions, I understand the Naruto world much more and can increasingly appreciate the merging of these two worlds.
First off with the title, nice nod to a Naruto municipality. I LOVE how you have the language barrier. It adds so much realism, and it's really fascinating how you have people deal with it and overcome it. You are excellent at character building. The things your characters do, say, or think are very well constructed. How Watto wouldn't have tried to save Naruto, how he wouldn't stick up for Anakin, how much Anakin is influenced by his mom, and the reasons Shmi decides to try to help Naruto, all of them are great at showing individual personalities as well as the interplay between different characters. I especially liked how you have Shmi constantly referencing how much water is being used by her actions of rushing or how much rationing has to be done to keep Naruto hydrated. It really sets the stage for the environment and type of culture they live in. Similar moment where Shmi assumes that Naruto is just a species that looks human. The irony being that she'll still treat him like a person even if she essentially thinks he's less human than everybody from Narto's original village did. Very interesting foreshadowing of the dark presence when Anakin first finds Naruto. It's really intriguing to see how you have the different forces of chakra and, well, the FORCE play off each other.
| FullMentalPanic chapter 1 . 3/6/2011
Oddly, I actually felt like this wrapped up kind of nicely with ch. 6; like after seeing what the characters accomplished they could cope with anything along the lines of fulfilling prophecies and being chosen ones. You're other in progress stories were very much cliffhangers. However, this was the one where when I finished I thought, "That was so utterly charming I want to read it again!" I'd love to read the others again to, but even more I want you to do more chapters for them. Since I've already read this one multiple times, I thought I'd review it first!
You do a good job with exposition, especially in not giving everything away immediately.
| Goldrune09 chapter 6 . 2/13/2011
You blame the poor innocent porcupines...you monster! lol, just kidding.
| Goldrune09 chapter 4 . 2/13/2011
A fighting arena is ssssooooo cliche in a naruto crossover...good story though.