|Reviews for A Growing Affection|
| Universal lizard chapter 141 . 6/12
This chapter right here was a perfect representation of Might Guy and the Inner Gates: As I'm led to believe, opening the Eighth Gate of 'Death' is supposed to lead to one's DEATH! Meanwhile, what does Kishimoto do in his version? 'Oh yeah, Guy opens the Eighth Gate, and it's not enough to defeat Madara, but that's okay, because God-Mode Naruto suddenly shows up and uses his 'God-Power' to keep him alive!' So not only there is the concept of the Gate of Death disrespected and shat upon, but from then on Kishimoto's Might Guy is reduced to a vegetable!
Anyway, with this 'correct' version: Flashback Guy gives a perfectly paced and told explanation of the nature and potential of the Gates. What I like as well was the added line of how Guy regrets ever being taught how to open the Gate of Death, yet still knows that he must open it in the present! And in the aftermath, visions of the past, present, and future glories were shown to him as he goes out! What a far more worthy send off to Might Guy than what Kishimoto did!
| KingBE123 chapter 5 . 4/12
good chapters so far though, why did you not use naruto's mom's real name of kushina and changed the description of her, did you write it before she was reveiled, I can understand that if that is it but if not why, not that it's bad just curious of the decision is all
| Kitsuneho chapter 58 . 3/20
They totally stole your idea from this chapter (58) in Boruto. The ninja gear.
| nightwind83 chapter 170 . 3/9
just reread the story it hold up while
| Jose19 chapter 62 . 1/11
I don't understand why Naruto doesn't have a Wind affinity his strongest Elemental affinity has always been Wind, and Wind triumphs over Lightning anytime.
| Jose19 chapter 61 . 1/11
I think she should forget about Naruto there are many other males in the story unless she wants to go with Sasuke who in the canon was the perfect person for her.
| Jose19 chapter 60 . 1/11
The Genjutsu part of the test for Jounin is a ton of crap because Jiraiya made Jounin, and he had the same handicap that Naruto has in learning Genjutsu so this deal that Genjutsu costs Naruto the rank of Jounin is false.
| Jose19 chapter 39 . 1/11
I am surprised that Naruto hasn't take the obligatory Time Skip to train with Jiraiya is he better trained in this story.
| Jose19 chapter 38 . 1/11
I want to know the actual deal of Sakura getting jealous of Naruto can you explain a bit more because she was a waste of space until Shippuden started.
| Jose19 chapter 28 . 1/11
This really sucks he is stuck at Genin becuse of the mission he has to undertake similar to what happened to the canon but for different reasons.
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/2/2017
Love the idea, and admittedly I haven't read much of the story yet and can't expect you to re-write anything once the fic is actually completed, but I've got some comments on the opening scene.
When Hinata yells at Naruto, there should have been a lot more shock and confusion than there was. He has no idea what she's talking about with the "I thought you were better" stuff, and then she drops a major bomb on him by telling him she loves him. He shouldn't be able to leap from his chair and give an off-the-cuff eloquent speech declaring his admiration for her, and while it's totally in Naruto's character to ask Hinata on a date right there, he'd never be so off-handedly confident about it. Remember, every time he has ever asked a girl (Sakura) on a date, he's been punched.
Secondly, Naruto has put in FAR too much thought to this 'would I date Hinata" question. He's too oblivious to ever realize her feelings for him to even begin thinking about his feelings in return, and he doesn't plan ahead anyways. He's too much of an in-the-moment guy to come up with those well-structured arguments about dating unless he's been confronted with a serious emotional problem. An entire character arc's worth of development is missing from this scene, let alone the five to ten paragraphs it would take for Naruto to process what the heck Hinata is talking about.
| Ace McKnight chapter 170 . 8/6/2017
This has been quite the ride. I admit that it did not grab my interest from the start (I actually started reading this one once before, making it to the vampire mini-arc before rage quitting; obviously I returned later), but once I got to the liberation of Sound, basically everything from that point on was golden. I am amazed by the world-crafting, and how well made your OCs are (especially given that the story pre-dates most of the important character reveals from canon). You also did a fairly good job of giving the main characters believably skillsets (though Ascendant Fox Form was way to OP). Actually on that note, something confused me about the Yang release portion of that: Kyuubi told him it would be a one time thing, but Naruto made it sound like it helped him "complete" the technique. Was he bluffing to Gouki, or was he serious? Is it a little of both (like it did help him solve the chakra consumption issue, but the technique wouldn't be as crushingly powerful as it was this one time?)? If you get a chance, I'd like to know.
Overall, due significantly to the time this work was released, this is easily the most canon-divergent Naruto story I've read (which I consider to be a good thing; seriously glad you didn't try to redo the chuunin exams like just about every other story I've ever read...). All in all, I'd say this is in my top 5 favorite Naruto fanfictions.
My biggest lingering "critique" is the increasingly creative (yet sometimes confusing) ways you referred to characters (example: "pale beauty" was used extensively to refer to Hinata, but I think you used it once or twice for another character and that threw me off...). This was good in that it forced me to stay mentally engaged, but it was occasionally confusing and a little tiresome to read through. None of that is meant as a flame, so please don't take it as such; I truly enjoyed the story, and I wish you all the best in your current and future projects. Thanks again for a great ride.
I'm late to the party, so I didn't review all the chapters, but you can take this review as a compliment to your work (for whatever that's worth). (Note: I generally don't review individual chapters of a story unless it is an ongoing work; I will generally only write a review at the end if the story is completed before I start reading)
| Miko1st chapter 97 . 8/2/2017
I wonder, could Lee learn seals? That would get him a ninjutsu requirement.
| E.Richtofen chapter 170 . 7/28/2017
First off I would like to thank the author for not only writing such a masterpiece, but completing it, especially since it was not a short story...that's for sure. This story is the best NaruHina fanfiction out there, it's so detailed and it covers every aspect of their relationship. It's not sappy, but still contains a nice balance of NaruHina moments to show their relationship progressing. In my opinion, I think if I ever decide to watch the Naruto series again, I will stop after the Elemental Training arc, and just continue to read this story instead, that's how much better I think this is compared to the original plot. So, time to jump into what I liked and attempt to tell you what I didn't enjoy (prepare for a short list).
What I liked:
• Antagonists, from Hyouta (Hiashi's father) to Gouki, they were all well developed and acted to their original personality (except OCs of course). In fact, characters such as Hyouta (he doesn't have an actual name), Orochimaru, Sasuke, Nagato, and Konan all had their story more flushed out. They were given more character and their ambitions genuinely felt engaging. Simply put, the original antagonists lacked personality and were given very little information about their own background. Orochimaru specifically was more of blandish character, but the concept of him keeping an original body was just as interesting as him stealing Sasuke's body. Now, Sasuke I felt like was used terribly in canon, his change in goals in this story felt more genuine and having his fate and revenge controlled by Orochimaru, made Sasuke a not so boring character. He actually showed more emotion in his personality than he ever did in the original plot. Nagato and Konan's relationship with a new sensei (who I will cover soon), and their struggles with their own relationship together made them more likeable, especially near the end of the story when Konan decided that Nagato took precedence than the ninja world or her trusted sensei's plan. The whole Nagato offing himself to revive people after he killed them never appealed to me that much, it kind of felt pointless in some way, so his redemption in this story fixed "that".
• Gouki and Kohaku (I think I spelled her name right), were definitely one of the most interesting characters. They were antagonists, but also in some ways the protagonists, depending on who you thought the hero might have been. The fact that two OCs had such intricate personalities, goals, and pasts, truly made them feel real. I really did sympathise with their own goals and was probably just as fond of Gouki as I was Naruto. Gouki is similar to Minato, has noble intentions and honor like Naruto, but is more aggressive than both (in some ways like Madara (real Madara)). His battle with Naruto and Hinata was pretty top notch and his use of non-lethal techniques to incapacitate his opponents made into a very interesting antagonist. Kohaku on the other hand was suppose to be bland and forgettable, or at least that is what she thinks. Instead, she shares so some of the same qualities as Hinata, that I immediately liked her character. She in some ways mirrors Hinata like Gouki mirrors Minato. You can see the reflection, but their are plenty of distortions, and those distortions made her into a very unique character. Sorry for the terrible analogy, but too me, Gouki and Kohaku are more flushed out than the original antagonists. Plus, they aren't just borderline villains, they kind of set a reminder, that the Naruto world is not just black and white when it comes to choices, Minato emphasizes that in this story too.
• Naruto and Hinata, their relationship wasn't forced. It was completely natural, they also didn't just grow together as a couple, but I would say they were the closest of friends first. The story also wrapped up their ENTIRE relationship, from friendship to Naruto becoming the Hokage. As I mentioned in the preface of this review, there is a good balance between sappy moments, to just moments that naturally would build their relationship...and yes there are sappy moments too, but come on its nice to have them. One of the best things about Hinata's character in this story is that she is truly a powerful ally. She has saved Naruto's butt from time to time, so if you're looking for a powerful Hinata story, look no further. This doesn't imply that Naruto is weak, but he can only do so much himself. Personality wise, aside from Hinata's growing confidence, Naruto just matures. Their isn't that much of a change to none of the original character's personality, which in my opinion is actually a good thing. I prefer stories where there personalities are for the most part intact to the original plot, because then it really does feel like the story is drawing from the Naruto world, but expect any of the original cast to grow from the events of the story.
• The fight scenes were exceptional. They did not bore me with too much detail and had a good length. More importantly, they were realistic, meaning that Naruto nor the cast was fighting people that were completely above their skill every single time. Yes, there were powerful opponents, but not every fight between Naruto and another was someone who was as powerful as Naruto. Thus, this story didn't rely much on godly power up, but more on mastering techniques and strategies. Even with the power ups that were given to the character (there were very few), they all had their weaknesses. They also were not overly used. Obito (or Madara, not sure who it is in this story), was probably the only one who had a form of godly power (immortality), but I think his fall symbolized that crazy power ups were not required for a story. Finally, the fight sequences didn't rely too heavily on using ninjutsu, they had a nice mixture of genjutsu and taijutsu.
• The content and plot as a whole kept me consistently interested. Some parts of the last arc (Fourth Great Shinobi War) was a bit boring on 2-3 chapters, but that arc was huge, so I expected that some scenes were going to be very appealing. It would be foolish to expect that every scene in this story will keep your attention. However, seeing as nearly every chapter was great and kept me excited for the next, is a testimony to the author being able to write such a wonderful story with a ton of chapters. Nothing felt rush, I mean there was time-skipping in the end, but that's because it most of the events at the end of this story are to be expected, so covering them with a decent amount of details is more than enough. The story was wrapped up nicely, everything was covered by the last chapter, there was no plot holes, and the story had a happy ending.
Overall, this story is my favorite fan fiction of all time, I normally don't write reviews even a quarter of this length, but the amount of effort that was put into this story, made me feel obligated to put in at least some more effort into writing a review. On top of all that this story was nearly 700,000 words and was COMPLETED, while being a very enjoyable read all the way through and with the ending not being rushed, it really does show the dedication the author had to write this story.
| E.Richtofen chapter 164 . 7/27/2017
I feel like the only antagonist in the story was Orochimaru and Madara. Its impossible to hate Gouki and company (except Madara).