Reviews for A Growing Affection
RisingMist chapter 78 . 5/4/2014
Alright. Gaara's entrance was awesome. Very badass. I also loved Tentens turtle summons being used as a ferry earlier on. Wonderful stuff. There's a lot of good stuff in this arc, but it did raise a few questions for me as well.

First, why did Madara give away so much information to Orochimaru when he clearly stated that his intention was to withhold such information from him? At least with Naruto sparing various people, it makes a bit of sense since he is merciful. I didn't like it, but it worked.

I'm glad Naruto has his own bloodline to match Hinata's Byakugan superpowers now. Initially I thought it was unnecessary, but Hinata's ridiculous growth in this fic made it a good thing. I now have to add sealing to the list of things which she is good at but hasn't attempted to teach Naruto. I'm not saying he should learn that. She's technical, and it works in this story. What does he have to match that? The weapons forge jutsu while impressive isn't all that useful. Plus, she knows all of his jutsu except the Rasenshuriken, while he can't use most of hers. He's still weaker in Genjutsu and Taijutsu. His basics are on par. I'm still pretty disappointed. Everybody needs to grow well.

That said, I am impressed with how the rest of the rookie nine and team Guy grew. It is clear that they have become far more powerful. Do they match Hinata, I don't know. Should they match her? I'm not sure. They should be awesome in their own unique ways. With Naruto, he needs to be the best of the best since that is his goal. It would make no sense for a Hokage to be any less than that. It makes sense for Hinata to have that kind of power too since she wants to stand by his side. One of my main problems with this story is how you have Naruto power up, and yet, each time, it seems that everyone else, especially Hinata is so far ahead that it feels like he is growing at a snails pace.

I enjoyed the fights against the Bijuu. Nibi's back story was particularly interesting and inventive. It also tells me that we might have a new nine-tails popping up soon. I also begun to feel the power of the Bijuu more in this chapter. So I can see you improved quickly as you wrote.

The people in your story seem over-reliant on food-pills. They seem a bit underused in canon, but they are almost used as a crutch in your story. It's something you may want to ponder. I'm not sure that it is entirely a bad thing, so I'll leave further analysis to you.

Thanks for sharing this chapter.
RisingMist chapter 76 . 5/4/2014
I resisted my urge to comment on Kankurou's death. All I have to say is that it worked well for you.

I'm reviewing to share my thoughts on the last few battles. To be honest, the humans seem a little overpowered at times. This is clearly because the Bijuu aren't fighting at full potential, but it still seems a bit much. I think a bit more emphasis on how little the Bijuu are fighting is very necessary for the battles with the Sanbi and the Ichibi. Without that, your desired effect seems to be a bit diluted.

I also felt that you seem to have underpowered Naruto a bit compared to the expectation from having the nine-tails full power. I'm not saying it's bad. I'm just confused as to what is going on.

Thanks for sharing.
RisingMist chapter 74 . 5/4/2014
Damn! Naruto got something like a Kekkei Genkai, didn't he? At least, it seems that way from your story and its theory. :) I can't wait to see. What does this mean for Naruto's Genjutsu?

I like what you've done with the Akatsuki so far. I'm hoping to see some really good stuff from here on.
RisingMist chapter 72 . 5/4/2014
This was a really fun chapter to read. It also gave me another objection to cell phones. To be honest, I like that they're used in the plot. Plus, computers got used quite a bit too. That said, there's a hole with the cell-phones thing. Given the open areas in Naruto, and the number of places we've seen without wiring, there should definitely be a problem with not having cell network coverage. Do you have a chakra based theory that allows you to work around that? If not, tracking Shikamaru's cell shouldn't be easy. It'd disappear for long stretches.

Cheers!
RisingMist chapter 71 . 5/3/2014
Okay...The use of computers is becoming pervasive. It's not really that used by Ninja, more by scientists and researchers and medics...Still, it works for you.

I liked most of the chapter, but one thing really ruined it for me. Hinata says, "If it was Naruto, he'd give you the back story and the guilt trip first." This is a wrong, horrible, insensitive, callous thing to say. There is no way that either canon Hinata, or Hinata in your fic would ever be that horrible. Sorry, can't believe it. If she meant to shorten the explanation because of time constraints or worry, I can understand, but not this. There's no point ranting, or I would. Naruto has lived a horrible life (so have others, some had it worse), and he isn't the type to guilt trip. Giving the back-story gives context and helps people understand. Not that he would do that necessarily. I'm just pissed. I'd slap you with a figurative cod and walk away, but I'm going to continue and hope that you truly didn't see it from the same perspective as I am.

The other thing that bothered me was Kiba being disloyal to Naruto. He definitely remembers all the help Naruto has given him and being a dog user, he must at least understand loyalty, even if he wasn't very loyal. We have every reason to believe Kiba is loyal. What I'm trying to say is that his sudden outburst didn't work out too well. I know you gave us reasons, but they didn't have a strong enough impact, IMHO.

Thanks for sharing this wonderful chapter.
RisingMist chapter 69 . 5/3/2014
This was a really well written chapter. On the minus side, it reminded me of two events that might have compromised canon prior to when this story split from the original. First, the one handed Rasengan. It seems that you added that in. Second, lightning should have neutralized Deidara's clay according to the chart shown in the elemental training arc. :)

Thanks for sharing.
RisingMist chapter 68 . 5/3/2014
Alright. Things actually do look better than I thought them to be. Well played, sir. :)

I want to take a moment to point out that you often use gate instead of gait in your story. There are a few other repeating errors as well, but this one caught my eye recently.

I'm terribly tired, so I'm unable to point out as much as I'd like and bring up interesting points for discussion. Please do forgive me if the quality of my reviews drops for a short while.

Cheers,
RisingMist
RisingMist chapter 67 . 5/3/2014
Oh-kay! I don't know what to make of this chapter. Hinata was awesome. It is clear that Naruto and Hinata are extremely good for each other. I knew that already, and your story does an admirable job of showing that. Unfortunately, it seems possible that Hinata probably outstrips Naruto in weapons also.

I have to congratulate you on the issue with Hanabi coming to a head in this chapter. You handled it very well.

Unfortunately, Guy's stealth test was really weird. I liked it, but Naruto was fooling around a bit, so I didn't like it until the point he got really serious. He seems to have passed more through luck than through skill. I'm quite disappointed in the progression of his stealth skills.

I have to say you came up with some very interesting and unique tests. I really enjoyed that part of your tests.

Can't wait for the next one. Thanks for sharing.
RisingMist chapter 66 . 5/3/2014
Okay. I really, really hate when I have I have a negative remark about something that is done well. You've made a great chapter. However, I was disappointed. While I expected Hinata to know more Genjutsu (even if he didn't have his current problem) and Taijutsu than Naruto, seeing how outclassed he was by Hinata only made me sad. See, she's better at the basics, and at Ninjutsu than him as well. She's just all around better. What's the point if he doesn't equal or best her in one or two areas at least. Where's the friendly competition, the challenge, the ability to work and respect each other as equals? All of that is gone. Hinata, as she is, is a prime candidate for Hokage at the moment. I have no idea why you've given Naruto's skills this much hate in the fic. I stand by my remark that the Jonin trials showed that Naruto was doing much better and that his skills advanced significantly. That said, what I mentioned earlier in this review, and in my other reviews is also true. I'm rather confused by what you are doing. Can you help me understand without spoiling your fic for me please?

On an aside, I'm beginning to understand just how much the fox is messing with Naruto's abilities in genjutsu. That's her last avenue of influence, isn't it? I can't wait to see where you take this.

Thanks for sharing.
RisingMist chapter 64 . 5/3/2014
I have a feeling that I'm jaded with regards to fanfiction at this point. I've read Itachi having a family or being married and this kind of thing happening too many times. It never seems to end well. I'm hoping to heavens that this story pulls it off, and that I am proved wrong. :)
RisingMist chapter 63 . 5/3/2014
I'm really enjoying these chapters. Sakura's situation has become a lot more complicated, unfortunately, but I should've expected you wanted to do more with that situation. Naruto's skills are looking far more well rounded now. Hinata's looking pretty awesome too. That said, the multi shadow clone jutsu for Hinata is a bad thing, imo. That said, I only see a problem is she starts using that skill a lot.

I didn't intend to review till I'd seen all of the Jonin trials, but I had to stop when I saw Shizune convincing Hinata that she could teach her a genjutsu. I liked that Shizune encouraged her, but it seemed a bit disloyal of both of them to think so little of Naruto. There's a lot of difference between things thought/said in good fun and thinking/speaking ill of someone or finding amusement at someone's expense. In this case, it wasn't too bad since Naruto would likely be a very taxing student, but it came across badly. I don't know how you could improve it, but I'll leave that to you.

Thanks for sharing.
RisingMist chapter 60 . 5/3/2014
I loved this chapter, period. That said, I'm very, very worried about Naruto's Jonin trials. You've really killed his Genjutsu abilities for some reason I can't fathom. If he is to make Jonin before Hokage, you'll have to put in another set of Jonin trials, and that doesn't seem to have happened based on a quick skim through the chapters. Clearly, Hinata is set to become Jonin this time around. I'm actually a little disappointed by that. Just once, can't Naruto be equal or better? Maybe I'm being too hasty in my judgement of that. Anyway, I'm hoping you'll send me a message explaining if Naruto needs to become Jonin or not, and if you actually held one more set of trials.
RisingMist chapter 59 . 5/3/2014
I loved this chapter so much, but then you went and had Hinata decide to break her promise to Naruto. What has he done to earn this disloyalty from someone who is intensely loyal to him? I hope you have her talk to him about this and sort it out. If you don't, well, that's just poor writing.

I'm glad you brought back the Kyubi finally. I've been waiting for it. Can't wait to see what you'll do with it. I'm almost certain his trouble with Genjutsu is also from the fox.

Thanks for sharing.
RisingMist chapter 58 . 5/3/2014
This chapter was awesome. I thoroughly enjoyed it. When Naruto beat his opponent, I had a strong urge to call you Xavon-sama. This is the best set of fights you've written up to this point. I'm glad you've not made Naruto unintelligent. For one who isn't educated as much as normal, his question about short circuiting stuff makes sense. I had expressed a hope in one of my previous reviews that Hinata and others will be understanding and help him fill in the gaps in his knowledge. Do let me know if that is going to happen.

I sincerely hope that this intelligent Naruto trend continues.

Thanks for sharing this wonderful chapter.
RisingMist chapter 57 . 5/3/2014
You've done a pretty great job of being true to Naruto's intelligence and perceptiveness in this chapter, and the previous one. I've enjoyed both thoroughly.

That said, I remembered that you had Neji disappointed that Naruto couldn't figure out why Sakura was jealous in the previous chapter. For someone as inexperienced as Naruto, it would not be apparent that Sakura might've been interested in him, especially after how violently she had rejected him, and for how long. Neji's reaction is one of those instances of other characters thinking ill of Naruto's intelligence that I was talking about.

I'm glad you had Naruto confront Sakura about her abrasive behaviour. I'm glad to see progress, if not a final resolution to that situation. I do hope there is an end to it soon.

Thanks for sharing.
3,047 | « Prev Page 1 .. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 21 .. Last Next »