Reviews for Sixth Year: The Steps Toward The End
AmericanMuggleborn chapter 19 . 9/17
Harry should go to Dumbledore immediately and tell him to take out his Pensieve. He must put his memory of the encounter with Malfoy and the two should view it together. Even if Dumbledore is not a perfect headmaster it is unfair to him not to know this. Dumbledore is responsible in the sense he is allowing Draco to attend Hogwarts.

Dumbledore may even expel or suspend Malfoy. He most certainly will take some action.

Malfoy my be taking advantage of the situation to claim responsibility for the Abbots' deaths when he never in any way suggested that they be killed. If so he's playing a very dangerous game one that could get him killed by either Harry or Voldemort.
AmericanMuggleborn chapter 3 . 9/14
This is quite a chapter. I got started loading a test story into my Fanfiction Reader app to test a recent update. It turned out to be good to read. I like the characters in the story don't know where it will take me.
AmericanMuggleborn chapter 2 . 9/14
I have thought harry could find happiness with either Ginny or Hermione. I believe he would also find happiness with Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot or even Luna Lovegood. Luna would always back Harry. As much as he is with Hermione I figured that matchup. It is one Jo regretted not making after she finished the series.

It's an interesting story. Your chapters are quite long. If you aren't already committed in your story you might want to pair Harry and Hermione. Many successful marriages occur between friends. Harry needs to realized Hermione is a woman who is NOT his sister.
GBTtown chapter 21 . 8/16
Very, very good story. I hope it is completed some day.
Shahismael chapter 21 . 3/12
An excellent story, I know that it's unlikely for you to finish this after leaving it so long, but thank you for your hard work to make this.
GMWW chapter 21 . 3/11
I love this story!
Tersios chapter 21 . 3/7
This is a really great story. I'd love to see another update!
FYI chapter 1 . 3/5
Just wanted to inform you that user DonaldTrump2 (id: 8006262) decided to plagiarize your first chapter of this story. You should probably file a DMCA takedown (information can be found at TAPIR (The Anti-Plagiarism Investigation Reports).

I hope this gets resolved quickly.
Smutley Do-Wrong chapter 21 . 3/4
This is not a harem story. Let me say that again: this is not a harem story. Harry will have several very different relationships throughout the course of his next two years, but not all at once and with the consent of others. I'm going to try and make the relationships as realistic as I can, and harems don't fall into the 'realistic' category in modern society..."

Because the Potter ficdom British magical society is so "modern" lol.
Is it "realistic", writing as if magic is real?
Harems still exist. Most "harem" fanfics probably better fit "multi" or large multi.

Seems while a huge "cheating" majority tout monogamy the ONLY realistic/proper way.
And I read many an author touting NO ONE has THAT sort of relationship. When in real life, some do.
Nature, nurture, CULTURE. Frankly, I find polyamory intriguing. Sure, completely UNREALISTIC for those conforming to...
YEAH, and sixty if not less, years ago, US Medical Schools teaching crazy shit like masturbation causing mental illness, BAD, don't masturbate. Homosexuals until we when? Pretty recent getting dumb religion pushed "science" undone, shit like homosexuals mentally ill. Bush Secretary of Defense Powell, lol, gays chose their sexual orientation. Lol, flip a coin, should I choose gay or be het today?
More involved more risk of incompatible friction wrecking things. But if a group could form, that worked? Decades or several, long term polyamory. Seems like could be spectacular, and I speak of just the nonsexual goodness, a family of intimate adult love and support. Not realistic? Or just not mainstream common expected practice?

" Ten minutes prior it was Padma, or perhaps Hermione, that he wanted. Despite his assertions to move on from Fleur, however, apparently his heart hadn't quite made that leap if his reactions to her just now were any indication. And goddamned if that wasn't equal parts infuriating, depressing, and – god, something else he didn't have the vocabulary for..."
Bad Harry, stop being so UNREALISTIC.

Don't know if authors often leave out facts on purpose, often so characters not fully informed, so "drama", angst, etcetera can live on.
Above "Satisfied, Harry faced the Headmaster and nodded, before turning again and leaving the room.". In that argument, ESPECIALLY WHEN poor Draco's parents lives in danger. THE HUGE counter debate point, is to tell, or better, show and tell with pensieve, Draco boast. How the hell ANYONE sympathize about Draco in danger of being an orphan. When Draco has no sympathy... worse, delights in making others orphans.
AND I noted this BEFORE READING DOWN to Draco taunting Hanna info.
Now reading the rest. Hannah bumps Pavarti out of the top spot for NUTTIEST WITCH. I suppose she didn't assault Draco. Like considered some chapters previously, the upstanding marked deatheater made of teflon. Besides, if Harry had let Draco kill him, not defended himself, then Draco not made to order Hannah's parents killed, made by Harry ... Lol.
I think Ginny, Pavarti, Hannah (& slightly Fleur) outdoes teen girls, like the jbern "lies... " Gryffindor chasers, on crazy scale.

All my criticizing. In large part, is because the huge fic is mostly so well done, the parts that are not, or that are less well liked, stand out, seem more irritating in contrast.

A huge work Few months from 2 years last updated. A lot of my thoughts echo in author notes here. With possibly being abandoned or long hiatus. I think a front to back review rehashing is too much work and likely redundant with all my reviews so far.

Thanks for all that work. Not being your publisher who paid an advance. I won't bitch complain for updates.
PaC chapter 20 . 3/4
"With you away at you-know-where for the break, I've decided to spend mine with my parents."

Well, no attack at Grangers... this chapter.

But for Hannah, the consequences of a violent response would be dire. Malfoy wasn't a known, wanted Death Eater. It would be viewed as unprovoked from the outside. Not to mention Malfoy would not let an attack on him go without, from his perspective, due penance. That didn't even take into consideration expulsion, criminal charges...
Sheesh, more teflon Draco. Boasting choosing murder targets. Deatheater parents and aunt, scores of aurors being killed and civilians and a dark mark on his arm. Yep, aurors and DOM surely would do Draco's bidding.
But then in canon, it's collateral near miss murder after murder as Dumbledore thinks Draco can turn to the light. So much for Dumbledore so concerned in students kept safe, lol.

" ..."I've tried, but there's so little information on how exactly the Ministry tracks underage magic." Hermione frowned. The H..."

Before pothole or unexplained "trace" "put back" on Harry, book 7. As post often, think book 6, recruiting Slughorn sections, Dumbledore spills beans, underage monitoring is ruse, except for nonmagical areas around muggleborns(and #4) that are monitored, the underage living there, BLAMED for anything detected, not actually monitored. Yet fanfics tend to go with post Bill-Fleur wedding TRACE fear freakout (which MAYBE was ? early early example of the taboo on Voldemort's name, trope).

"Albus informed me you are now in possession of an Apparition Licence?"
"I am."
Author forgets? If not. Why not let Dumbledore not know. Think Harry didn't bother with lessons, unable to get license. Lots options to make it fit. Like Dumbledore (I forget actually) but does he know of Harry's adult status? Well, seems so in order meeting. Perhaps have UK but not France go by legal adult or younger age requirements. Then can surprise Remus with French license and option to tell the story, the unclear sort of implication Harry side-a-longs Fleur than vice versa, to what much LATER is revealed in fic, as under Fidelius chateau Delacour, though Harry never been there? Harry's first apparating, London to Delacour chateau in France.

Lupin asked the obvious question, "Why would you need a go-between?"
At the time read that, typed note: Why not, particularly with the special magic communication box, make Fleur the "go-between". Since author implied she & Harry intimate relationship not fini. It is useful for keeping Fleur in closer orbit of Harry character.

Continuity error: "You remember the will reading and the stipulation that Sirius added to my share? It took a long time but I went out and bought myself enough to fill a wardro..."

Story had at Will readings, thar ministry disallows werewolves to inherit anything. Sirius letter suggested Harry get around that, deposit the money into Remus vault. I think it was suggested Harry would or did, but no explicit mention of Harry also doing same for Potter Will bequeathing Remus money. Which is slightly... maybe out of step, if they died around time treating Remus as big suspected traitor/spy(recent Remus remarks).
Harry fight well done. Reasonable, well choreographed.
PaC Smutley D-W chapter 19 . 3/4
Another effing mobile keyboard vanish with "Post Review" button jumping into that space or it JUST FUCKING posts as part of the glitch.

"...I didn't bother to have Padma explain how hypocritical it would be..."

My thoughts at the time, about all the teens & the various with...

Review with above text, NOT CORRECTED BUT CLOSE ENOUGH, not going to redo.
Guest chapter 19 . 3/4
"...I didn't bother to have Padma explain how hypocritical it would be..."

My thoughts at the time, about all the teens & the various withdrawls from Hogwarts was if the "patch" would be the group was a LONG game, the "action" when hitting adult age etcetera. Otherwise: "Mum & dad, may I leave home indefinitely to assist Harry Potter in vanquishing he-who-must-not-be-named? Can I... Please please ?

"I will be showing just how far Harry has come over the coming chapters."
Too bad fic nearing final posted in few years.
Hope get a few satisfying smackdowns before soon hit hiatus or abandoned wall, getting close.

Hermione saying she won't stop Harry from hurting Malfoy? I think that's a big moment for her. (bad cliché Hermione to bashed Hermione when fics have her cling to moral highground against fully amoral opposition). It passes, and my interpretation thought you meant her not wanting Harry "lost" by such save many words let's say, not be lost to cliché Star Wars "dark side".

Yes, Malfoy was rather heavy-handed in his hints. But he was never the master of subtlety. (((even if over the top & NUTTY the scum is allowed to attend a school. It was BIG DRAMA the pompous slime, & should erase any regret Harry could have, in cutting Draco in the loo duel. )))
Regardless, he wanted Harry to react, to give him an excuse to hurt him.
Confident his pure blood would not forsake him being superior? Or Snape lurking...

Lot of fics create a ramped up Harry, then for drama I guess, have Draco an equal or defeat Harry.
Unless dark spells give huge EASY advantage with less work/TRAINING. Unless Draco was years ahead of Harry in PAST YEARS. I'd reason that his 24x7 Room of Requirement project, no matter some tutoring from Bella, daddy, (doubt Voldy, ooc or cracky), Harry vs Draco should be no contest.
Versus cliché Snapes claiming Harry average or mediocre, despite evidence to contrary. It's less unreasonable for Draco to underestimate Harry. This would be even less like Draco with deathwish,with a loo duel edit, so Harry being more "gentle" in trying to not hurt Draco badly(so conscious to interrogate). Maybe no parry or Draco not see it. More Harry distracted, bad start, bad luck in debris. Combined feeds Draco hubris & delusions of superiority, that Harry got lucky with the ONE dark curse he knows(jump to that conclusion from Snape telling about where Harry got the spell). DE Draco is pureblood, knows lots dark curses, conclusion, he THEN BETTER FITS "he wanted Harry to react, to give him an excuse to hurt him" than being the quacky Drake than dragon type, poking a dragon that's not sleeping... a dumbass Drake.
PaC chapter 18 . 3/4

150 DA.

Schedule them all, to practice, the Room of Requirement in use 24x7. Option some could sleep there after curfew or on the "red eye" time table spots.

Draco can't get access.
PaC chapter 18 . 3/4
Review below this review is ANOTHER fucking premature posted review, mostly "quote notes".

Resuming where typing when prematurely Posted last one:

If dropped both, it's more of THIS Harry taking less crap from Snape. That AND your Harry in this, reverts FAR to much, back to overly remorseful WIMPY canon Harry.
Good effing GRIEF. Don't have him acting like a firstie terrified of Snape, even RUNNING 5 FLOORS UP AND DOWN, obeying Snape like a subservient servant or terrified child.
Frankly, for this better than canon Harry, IMO a Sectumsempra on purpose an option, Harry knows it's a dark cutter, but upping the viciousness considering what Draco casting. Or have Draco badly hurt by another spell. The use of Sectumsempra not needed, Snape getting the potion book back NOT needed. Why not have occulimens Harry LIE. Fuck Snape. The uber zerox cannon copying not needed. AND IMO bleeds much of your Harry into regressing back into wimpier less competent less confident LESS CAPABLE canon Harry.

THE background here also. You UPPED the evidence beyond conjecture, a fucking killer marked DE Draco aiding Voldy is being ALLOWED to operate(Harry & dozen helpers do shit job stalking Draco or guarding Room of Requirement). Yes you inserted a Dumbledore platitude patch of canon some, with decent "excuse" told to Harry, for risking student lives.
I begin slow exit beating the dead horse here. IMO. Not huge edits could make much more palatable. Initial shock, ok, BRIEF horror, recrimination. But in seconds, shake it off. Defending against Myrtle and Snape is a tactic. UNFAIR recriminations from Myrtle & Snape, rejected, simultaneously washing away Harry's self recriminations and second guessing... guilt ...whatever. Any lingering regret, Daphne could be used to kick to the curb. Too much initial sympathising for crying shit Draco. How many threatened lives in entire world would Draco shed a tear for? How many lives at risk, of being murdered, would he LAUGH about, and dead, celebrate the deaths?

BTW. Funny Ginny watched by elves, sequestered. An option for Daphne, for a cunning Harry. Have Dumbledore orchestrate fake punishment of Daphne, do for her, like Ginny, for protection. Btw, Daphne could take revenge (even on Draco also), end if year. Great cover for her disappearing with Harry group. CYA for her parents. Some claim Daphne threatened or defended herself. The beaten half to death Draco group, with rich DE parents, she flees. Explains her disappearance. And if not fuckup Voldy plan, or he blame Draco,Pansy, Knott... Daphne seeming a good DE prospect (beating torturing crap out of Draco & company), to recruit, not punish or retaliate against her parents. Versus her going missing, not joining junior DEs... fallout, her parents... Astoria never mentioned. Thought parents or Astoria threatened was to be the inplay gag when Daphne insulted Patils. Weak there, the thinking she was traitor stuff, poor logic. First thought should be keeping up appearances or signal she is in distress or needs to meet.

I forget if "cru... " by Draco is film but not book canon. Basically plethora of canon plotholes, some patched with pathetic excuses which truly apply even more here, your Harry more confident AND there is more evidence of DE Draco. So it's excuse & patch story time. Or ignore. No telling or giving memory, of Draco on Sept 1st, facial expression and words said, back then, to aurors or Dumbledore.
No just using pensieve this chapter, as rebuttal to Snape made up shit, post loo duel) instead of alluding to that with Snape dismissed from Dumbles office. Of course doing THAT, more patches as teflon Draco is SEEN CASTING DARK CURSES, attacking first, AND TRYING TO CAST EFFING CRUCIO. Not sharing either memory with Scrimgouer. NOT RUBBING "expell Potter" spluttering Snape's BIG NOSE IN PENSIEVE PROOF of scum evil shit irredeemable Draco. Oh, but then having to patch over all that, to keep canon DE invasion of Hogwarts inplay.
Do guess no "Hey, how about Poppy look at left arms of patients, LIKE DRACO?"
OR leave out such stupid tropes, replace with UNMARKED DEs.
Hell, nice twist would be enough of spell formed, a priori incantantum shows echo of Draco crucio "attempt" forming, MORE PROOF.
Your noncanon improvements combined with TOO MUCH and particular aspects and tropes of canon, magnifies stupid shit and weaknesses of canon. Even though you do a GREAT JOB patching those up, so result still is usually less stupid shit & weaknesses of actual book canon.
But fuck, cut the straitjacket of canon, some of the crappier aspects, then not needing your patching and shoring up so much.
You CAN keep your loo duel of canon as you said you want it used. Overall you do excellent writing. But IMO, less of your better than JKR patching needed, and a better chapter, (ditto for similar strategies in other chapters) if you pruned off canon that is a minus and/or causes need for bigger patching up of the story to ameliorate the damage done by dumb shit. Otherwise it's a suspend belief, ignore illogical stupid shit(? ramp up incompetence & corruption of ministry patches for example), keep canon plot devices and gags, despite the big holes caused, illogic, dumb shit.

"Basilisks take many years to decompose, Harry," Hermione explained patiently. "That means its remains will still be there... Basilisk fangs would ...why didn't I think of that already?"

Uh, like THINKING it, offering it previously to bribe Slughorn?

"Have you found any other information on them?...o destroy the Horcruxes."

"No, the library has nothing in the public accessible section, and I doubt Dumbledore would have information on them as easily reachable as that."
And it's not like you are completely estranged in this story, meet with Dumbledore for lessons, and could ASK Dumbledore. Which btw, you straddle the trust not trust, not estranged fence better than lots of flip flop Harry-Dumbledore relationships in several fics read recently...some with flip flopping evil...good... evil...good that is terribly bumpy...bad road.

Neville faced Harry. "None of the Slytherins here are with Malfoy, or so I'm told."
"Doesn't matter," Harry waved off the concern abruptly. "What can he do? This isn't illegal any more."

Uh, have them attacked and beaten (like Daphne), and in this fic perhaps more likely than with canon professors and headmaster, get away with it.

Btw. Long absent Tonks. Last BRIEF appearance(at castle). Thought with perfect timing, they would have her morph(ya know, like uber restricted polyjuice Crabbe & Goyle ALSO like canon, in this fic), to trick Draco, even Tonks end up arresting him. Then the trap Ginny scene pushed up... but no Tonks morphed as Harry there, either, used to trick Ginny.
Guest chapter 18 . 3/4
Firstly, I kept the bathroom scene similar because it offered the opportunity for what happened in and after. But I like the alterations I made. I'm happy with that and quite excited to write the next fight scene.

First very disappointing chapter. The "alterations" (not duped from canon) help patch some. Whatever the cause, a common observation to me, is MANY of the most captivating fanfics, are captivating when excellent non regurgitated ORIGINAL content fills the pages. The whatever the cause, lost muse, writers block, or planned, the fic bends back to canon rerun rehashed recycling material. This fic didn't go the often near AU path, then disappoint with jumping back onto canon plot paths. Maybe like really loose story-dog on a leash, this chapter suddenly the dog made to heel, sit on canon ass.
I sympathize with difficulty of tangent launch from canon, or trying to keep ropes tied to canon framework while breaking free enough, to not be boring Deja vu canon rerun.

Some snark from copy/pastes:
"...blatantly attacking a student, particularly one who was a known adversary."

Oh YES, the boy-who-lived, the CHOSEN ONE, in a scuffle with the son of two convicted deatheaters, one the sis of madkiller Bellatrix. Of course the chosen one would be expelled.

He had gravely harmed a human being. This wasn't a prank... Snape not appeared, Malfoy would be dead right ...sickened him. He may hate him but there was a dramatic difference between hate and killing someone.
((( alterations good. BUT HEY, it added what seemed SEVERAL TIMES Harry would have been dead from spells Draco cast. The dark shit Malboy attempting murder. Your Harry fails to argue that strongly THIS FACT. Wanting to interrogate immaterial that Harry was using HUGE restraint while your Draco repeatedly casting nasty seemingly lethal dark curses.)))

In a way, he had killed before. Quirrell had died by his hand, as... This was more real.
((( Except if the "victim, not a willing" host trope in play. Quirrell more a victim than bloody Draco, who DID NOT DIE. )))

(((NOW the failed "context" blathering Harry introspective))) : There was no control over his hands ...Quirrell to death... memory of Riddle...not known that it was a piece of a soul ...Here, control, with a real human life, one that could not be confused with a shade, in the balance. He had cast a spell, and it was killing Malfoy.
Enemy or not, he was still a human.
Despite his words, he did not seem prepared to kill after all..."
Good grief. And if not heard crack of apparating (((lol, way down below and behind (train moving) over sound of train inside and out (wheels & track sounds) when Bellatrix kicked off train. Would Harry had such a panic case of horror and self recriminations.
Now it's still better than the JKR puke version.
Good for you, reflective out of blue, not choosing to use Snape's dark spell.
Bad: how many MONTHS, and your improved over canon Harry has STILL not tested out and learned what the spell does?
Hell, INTELLIGENT would have been to consult Flitwick during a tutoring session, to test the spell.
Since you like cloning the canon loo duel. I'll add that gutting not needed. But some less than Umbitch pruning could remove what IMO is the weakest parts.
I forgot or didn't know if Harry dropped DADA or just the extra tutoring by Snape. If dropped both, it's more of THIS Harry taking less crap from Snape. That AND your Harry in this, reverts FAR to much, back to s

"Basilisks take many years to decompose, Harry," Hermione explained patiently. "That means its remains will still be there."

"And that means the Basilisk fangs would be too," Harry finished for her. "Of course, why didn't I think of that already? That doesn't matter. We can use them to destroy the rest of the Horcruxes. That's great!" Harry paused, realizing an issue. "How can we store them? The venom is very lethal."

"Have you found any other information on them?" asked Harry. "If we can find something we should try and get it in case we need an alternative to destroy the Horcruxes."

"No, the library has nothing in the public accessible section, and I doubt Dumbledore would have information on them as easily reachable as that."

One day soon he would perhaps encounter the situation he had talked about, where it would be him or them. He hoped with all he had that killing someone would be easier, though all the while knowing it wouldn't be.

Neville faced Harry. "None of the Slytherins here are with Malfoy, or so I'm told."

"Doesn't matter," Harry waved off the concern abruptly. "What can he do? This isn't illegal any more."

I will expect you all to keep up, and to work outside here if
841 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »