Reviews for Not The Right One
Kal Kally chapter 4 . 6/30/2010
There are some passages where the 1st POV and 3rd POV all mix together, like:

"Seto then told Pegasus all about Joey being beaten till he almost died, and how one of his maids had her life threatened that if she didn't do what this bastard wanted then her parents and her little girl would die, and how someone tried to me off the road and that they left some note in my car telling me that Joey was good enough to be with me and how this manic would be mine once everyone else was dealt with and that included my brother and I won't let anyone tell me who I can and can't be with."

"While Pegasus was talking to Seto, the Shadow found out that Joey had disappeared from the hospital and no one knew where he was and this wasn't part of the plan so the Shadow now had to put more pressure on Seto to break him and make him want to be with me for the rest of our lives."

I enjoyed quite a lot, and I really think that if it can go through the hands of a Beta Reader, it would be even better.

Thank you for writing it.
dragonlady222 chapter 9 . 12/6/2007
Good ending. The light pierced the darkness and brought back sanity.
dragonlady222 chapter 8 . 12/6/2007
Good chapter. I hope they can destroy it before it harms the others.
sherabo chapter 4 . 12/6/2007
right on... I love it when Pegasus is the hero, It's so cool that he is helping Joey. Well Seto needs to get his act together or I just might have Joey stay with Pegasus...interesting paring... hell now... Well right on for Pegasus always. Best Chapter yet, love it.
sherabo chapter 3 . 12/5/2007
this is getting very, very spooky and i am getting hooked. Great twist in the plot. Wow a jealious lover, but who Super mystery...
sherabo chapter 2 . 12/5/2007
This is very painful, I think Seto is really being super cool which is a change ooc, Ok I'll bite for a while, but he better save Joey.
sherabo chapter 1 . 12/5/2007
Oh, I feel so hurt for my love. Journey Maker you better make this a happy ending...smiles. I'm right with you Joey, don't worry and Seto you'd better stop sobbing and get the b- that hurt Joey. Great start...
dragonlady222 chapter 7 . 12/5/2007
I hope they can stop her. She doesn't realise the others are there, yet. Hopefully that will work to their advantage. Good chapter.
dragonlady222 chapter 6 . 12/4/2007
I hope this guy is right and he is stronger. I wonder why Shadi would help her with this. They need to get yami, Bakura and Marik in on this.
dragonlady222 chapter 5 . 12/3/2007
Good chapter. I hope they find her soon so everything can go back to normal. I am glad Joey is getting better.
dragonlady222 chapter 4 . 12/2/2007
Good chapter. I don't know who the Shadow is but they need to go away.
dragonlady222 chapter 3 . 12/2/2007
Good chapter. I'm glad that nurse stopped 'her'. Good thing Seto wasn't seriously hurt.
emochick131 chapter 2 . 12/2/2007
aw poor joey! I hope they find who did this to him! i cant wait for more! keep it up! _
dragonlady222 chapter 2 . 12/2/2007
Good chapter. I wonder who is behind all this. I hope they can keep everyone safe.
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