|Reviews for TMNT: Prey|
| Denizu chapter 4 . 5/5/2008
Holy hell, did I just read this? I've come back to from being a casual browser and nothing more like five years ago, and this is what I find in Ninja Turtles? I'm blown away, I'm speechless.
After checking out your profile I've realized I'm reading things out of order and that there's much more Amber to go around in your other stories, which I'm looking forward to. Still, as a stand-alone story you've set up her character so well that I didn't find myself falling behind. My favourite thing about this story is the attention to minor details that so many fanfiction writers skip, but set up the story so vividly. You also wrote the Raphael I think everyone dreams about, he was believably canon but brought so much more to the story through his thoughts and dialogue.
I wish I had been around the site at the time you were writing this, it would have been amazing to follow from chapter to chapter. Hopefully you'll be giving us something new soon! Until then it looks like I have plenty of material to catch up on.
| morning sun chapter 4 . 3/20/2008
Hm, yes, this is my favorite installment thus far. I loved it.
All the damn tension, and the anger produced by Raph at Ambers kidnapping. I love the darker fic, the ones that explore the more realistic side of the turtle existence. And this was so great, yet it still had that somewhat "happy" ending. I guess an "almost happy" ending... something like that. :)
A really, REALLY awesome job. One of the best fic's I've read, period.
| Moody Owl chapter 4 . 3/12/2008
Ok, first of all... I suck at this 'review' thing. :P
But when I come across a fic that is so good and has so little feedback, I can't just close the window and leave it this way.
Anyway... I have read all of your fics involving Raph/Amber and I just thought I would let you know that you rock! :)
Amber is just... so human. Full of imperfections and feelings. And your Raph is perfect too. You manage to grasp his anger and his 'cute' (can't think of a better word here, sorry. ;D) sides so well!
So, yeah, just a few words to let you know you have one more avid fan around. ;)
| KameTerra chapter 4 . 2/3/2008
K, so I admit I actually finished reading this whole series some time ago, but I'm just now getting around to reviewing (shifts guiltily...) But better late than never? Anyway, I always intended to drop you some feedback because... I just love this series. Your Amber is kind of like the ANTI Mary Sue, isn't she? I love how she is so tough, and cynical, and flawed... and yet, human and therefore vulnerable. And as kind of a side-note, I was so thrilled with the part in Traffic where even Amber, who is so quick to jump on her "don't judge me" podium, finds that she isn't always right-some women in her line of work WERE victimized. It turned everything absolutely upside down-and I LOVE it when stories do that, show more than just a single viewpoint. :)
And Raphael... where to begin? You portray him so well, how he struggles to do good, but he's still quite naive about "the real world", and he's constantly trying to reconcile reality with his own morals... always the internal battle. In chapter two, when he's considering the very real possibility of his own death in such a detached way, imagining that his family would never even know what became of him... wow. And yet he never, for a single instant, considers NOT trying to rescue Amber-even though he doesn't know whether or not she's still alive. Loved it!
I think my favorite part of this installment, though, is the opening chapter. Both characters trying to convince themselves they're done with the other, even as their actions so clearly say the opposite. True, and touching. And I enjoyed every moment I was reading.
| Firebrat chapter 4 . 2/1/2008
A thoroughly dark tale about the drawbacks that come from being "friends and family" of a superhero. Not one of your longest, but it's as tightly packed with drama and emotion as the others. We get a good insight into Amber and Raph's true feelings in this one, which I appreciated.
I'll admit, it surprises me how casually cold Amber can be sometimes - the Jose syringe incident - I think if her and Raph's roles were reversed, she'd make a pretty damn terrifying Nightwatcher.
My favourite part is undoubtedly the ending (which skirted closer to a happy ending that the rest of your Amber series), but then I'm a sucker for a well written finish.
Bravo, for turning a relationship between a giant freak turtle and a used up prostitute into a thing of beauty...their love affair is almost childlike in it's sweetness. All the pain, ugliness and violence throughout the series serves to make the soft moments that much more poignant, a lot more "real". Very romantic, because of - not in spite of - it's darker parts. Quite an achievement.
Love it. Good job, lass.
She swallowed around her thick tongue and blinked up at them. “That’ll be a hundred bucks, thanks.”
HAHAHAHA! God bless that girl for her acid tongue. Humour at it's blackest. Pfft, those common thugs didn't know who they were dealing with when they thought they could break her.
| RAPHAELFAN02 chapter 4 . 12/18/2007
Read this and luved it. Ever since you started "Loser" I have adored this pair. And then to see that he has always been apart of her life without her even knowing it...and then accepting the fact that she does want him despite what he is...absolutely great... this was just great. I hope to see more of them in the future, especially to see how they respond to each other after this story. Raph really went ninja on those clowns, ha, serves them right for underestimating the Nightwatcher, even though they had no idea that he was a ninja as well as a giant turtle, but still, I think they got what they had coming to them.
| Dierdre chapter 4 . 12/17/2007
I've been writing furiously for the past few hours (dammit, I WILL make that deadline!), and so I figured it was high time I took a break to do something relaxing; i.e., leave a review for this last chapter. Which is going to be pretty easy, methinks, since it was my favorite of the four.
And why is that, you ask? First and foremost, it was the action-packed first half. I've always been a bit leery when it comes to writing fight scenes, so it's a treat when I encounter someone who seems to do it effortlessly. *Gives Tort a telling look* I loved the tight, tense style of writing you used, as well as the way you didn't gloss over all the gory details. If one isn't careful, one can go too over the top with such description, which can ruin the flow of the fic... and make the reader a bit sick to their stomach. You avoided that trap neatly, however, by giving us just enough gore and visceral violence to underscore the savagery of the moment, without turning it into the literary version of a snuff film. Brava, chica!
My favorite bit of imagery regarding the fight is still this line: "He could see, in the guy’s slackly parted lips, a tooth swimming in the blood bubbling up out of his mouth..." So awesome!
And this sentence is still my favorite out of the whole fic, hands-down (although you forgot to remove my comment regarding it in the story itself _): "The world blurred, then went white, furious and burning at the corners." Wrap a bow around that sentence, please! I wanna take it home with me.
Heh... I'm not entirely certain why, but the fact that Amber takes the time to snatch all the bad guys' money just amuses the heck outta me.
*Sighs* And, oh! That ending. Although I will miss Amber and all the tales centering around her, this really is a perfect way to end the story line. It is unexpectedly, heart-achingly sweet that she lied to him about the rape; protecting him in one of the few ways she could. It made me happy in a slightly lecherous way that he felt that visceral sense of ownership regarding her, even though it was quickly suppressed. I also just freaking LOVE how Amber talked him into staying, and how they both acknowledged that it could never work... but decided that they wanted it anyway. Beautifully done, Tort. Really.
*Rereads the last sentence* …And thus concludes the Amber arc. As I said previously, I'm a little sad to see it end, but I'm truly gratified at HOW it ended. Additionally, you just posted another fic, which means that tomorrow I'll still be able to get my Tortuga fix. Huzzah! _
I'll send you a response to the email you sent me sometime in the next day or two, okay? Take care of yourself, chica T!
| Dierdre chapter 3 . 12/14/2007
A responsible reviewer would take the time to point out her favorite parts of this chapter, adding thoughtful comments and clever turns of phrase... but mostly I just wanna point at Jose and chuckle evilly for about five minutes. Judging from his reaction to her commentary, he still has enough of a conscience left to be affected, so I suppose I SHOULD feel a little badly for him. But, well... I don't. So hah! That's why you don't fuck with the red-heads, chico! We have teeth, and we ain't afraid to bite!
Er, metaphorically speaking, anyway. Is it obvious that I've had too much sugar?
Okay, okay, I gotta say something that is actually relevant. I quite liked the flashback scene involving the chin-ups. It's always great to see an author flesh out the life of a character, giving them a history that we don't often see in the canon. The conversation between Mickey and his nameless companion was a good snapshot into the lives of the 'faceless' enemy, too. And the last sentence just underscored one of the many reasons that I adore your OC. She's sassy, she's savage, and you DO NOT FUCK WITH HER. Viva la Amber! Viva!
It's becoming increasingly obvious that I need to step away from the computer before I degenerate into complete incoherency. I'll review the last chapter tomorrow, okay? Hasta luego, chica!
| Dierdre chapter 2 . 12/14/2007
Oh, fanfic, sweet fanfic, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...
1. I absolutely adore the description of the big guy in paragraph seven. It's great when authors take the time to build a word picture for us concerning their OCs, while at the same time avoiding the trap of interrupting the flow of the fic with unnecessary, static description. The picture you paint of this man ain't exactly pretty (although I must confess to liking a man with scars), but it IS vividly done, as well as being quite effective at increasing tension.
2. The thought of Amber having a Hello Kitty lunch box to store her fits is insanely cute.
3. While I'm not a fan of the practice, I gotta give Amber props for her spiteful bravery and the selflessness of her decision to commit suicide. Raph would have never forgiven himself if she had actually succeeded, but hopefully he would have known that it was done in a bid to protect him.
4. Amber is nothing if not practical, and I felt strangely proud of her as she prepared herself for the possibility of rape. Such an awesome chica...
5. And Raph, too, never fails to show the world his inherent coolness. Even half out of his mind with worry, and so angry that he's one heartbeat away from bursting a blood vessel, he still comes up with a plan that stands a greater chance of survival for them both. Our boy may be a hothead, but he's certainly no one's fool.
6. The dream was a lovely addition to this chapter. It was good to 'see' Amber as she was before the heroin whittled her away, and the addition of Raphael in the dream just made it all the more poignant.
7. *Winces* And damn, that rape scene was brutal. But once again, Amber made me proud with her reaction to it all. Being cheeky wasn't the wisest thing to do, perhaps, but it did steal away their repugnant enjoyment of the act. They SO deserve a beat down, and Raphael will be kind enough to provide them with one. He's a considerate guy that way.
8. The flashback scene with the nameless woman in the window was... wow. It was beautifully written with just the right amount of melancholy, and it explains a lot about why Raph is the way he is. Brilliant insight there, chica.
This chapter deserves a whole heck of a lot more numbers than a measly eight, but I believe it's time for me to go to bed. Exquisitely well done, as always, chica! I'll return tomorrow with another shiny new review. _
| Winnychan chapter 2 . 12/12/2007
Oh man! This chapter really kicked it up a notch. What a brutal plot you are building here! The relatively calm and practical manner in which Amber faces these horrors is really something else. Yes, ok so she is getting through it with help from the heroin - but I have to say, I forgive her for this. I wouldn't want to feel the full brunt of what was happening to me in her situation either!
Both flashbacks were just beautifully executed. I loved getting this glimpse into a younger, more innocent Amber when her drug addiction was in its rose-colored early stages. And then Mike and Raph spying! Too precious.
The last line was a powerful one! "They would not take her." These days Raph has a harder time impressing me with his macho swaggering, I'm usually more about polite, well-spoken gentle boys like Donnie, or even Leo and Mike have their moments... Raph rarely does. But this...! Yes. I had a Raph Fangirl Moment. So dashing and protective. Iee!
| Winnychan chapter 1 . 12/12/2007
Huzzah for Raph and Amber goodness! I just love watching these two struggle with their conflicted feelings for one another.
The Nightwatcher suit meant she could pretend that underneath
it, he was human. But out of it – touching him, having him
touch her – it was twisted.
And even more perversely, there was something in that very
fact that appealed to her. That was sort of exciting.
This is just the sort of thing I mean. I think maybe my favorite aspect of it - and you don't come right out and say it, so maybe I'm reaching here - is how as a sex worker, I'm sure Amber often feels like she has 'seen it all', you know? She's been asked to do everything under the sun prolly and so when it comes to sex, very little these days surprises or scares her. But in meeting a 'man' like Raphael, and daydreaming about actually BEING with him, she has found a new level of strangeness that even she can appreciate. It seems to me like she loves the person he is inside, and she's allured by the fact that there IS something new... but the differences between them physically is just SO strange that in spite of her profession she just cannot completely make that leap.
The part where Amber is injecting heroin was so very realistic. It's a huge pet peeve of mine when people try to write drug scenes or cover addiction issues when they have NO clue what they are talking about. I don't even necessarily mean actual experience taking drugs even, but these people don't even RESEARCH! Drives me bonkers. So your ridiculous accuracy and attention to detail is great to see.
Finally I love the little details you add to your narrative, like "J-J" being two people or the cardboard box Amber keeps her clothes in. These little bits of ambiance really do so much to make it seem like your main characters really exist in a vivid dynamic world. I really appreciate that.
This is way late, and I know I'm not the most reliable reviewer in the world. But please know that I am still mad for your writing, as I have been since you first appeared in the fandom. Take care hon!
| greshunkai chapter 3 . 12/12/2007
again, deepest appreciation for this wonderful continuation of the Amber Saga! nice touch-her dismay to discover that hair had been cut from the side of her head-disfiguring her prettiest asset-that glorious mop of red hair! delicious flash-back...Raph's memory of developing the musculature that would make scaling a wall easy for him. once more-thank you for a most enjoyable tale.
| greshunkai chapter 2 . 12/7/2007
glorious! you actually figured out and wrote out how to get Raph to stop and THINK! marvelous! and the lovely back switch..
the villains are expecting Nightwatcher..& they are going to get Raphael! can't express how much i enjoy the quality of your compositions.. wonderful writing-greatly appreciated. please
do go on with this story. & congratulations on your NaNoWriMo
| Dierdre chapter 1 . 12/4/2007
I gotta put in a review for this chapter, but since I'm a lazy so and so, I'm just going to copy and paste a bunch from my email. Sorry, chica. _
Unsurprisingly, this first chapter was about seven different shades of awesome. Your stories never fail to captivate me, and of course, I was ridiculously pleased to 'see' Amber again. Hell, in my mind, she's practically a canon character!
To bring up more specific points, I like the thought of Amber having a squat. I found it especially endearing that one of the reasons she stayed there initially was because it would be a good place for Raph to visit, away from prying eyes. I quite enjoyed your descriptions of the place, too, with the room's riot of graffiti paint and minimal furnishing. One of the things I like most about Amber is her passion for reading, so the mental image of her stacks of books made me smile.
The description of her being unable to find a vein in her arm and taking to make do with her toes was a nice touch of realism. Just another one of those things that makes your writing style so compelling.
I also found Amber's conflicted emotions regarding Raphael to be marvelously in keeping with reality. And vice versa, with Raphael's opinion of Amber. One of the reasons I have a hard time stomaching most mainstream romance novels/movies/etc. is because of what I call the Pedestal Syndrome. If this were a cheesy romance book, Amber would have hardly batted an eye at Raphael's drastically different appearance. And even if she initially balked at it, she would soon realize that she didn't care and would fall swooning into his arms, in a classic display of love triumphing over all adversity. And likewise, Raphael would overcome his ingrained mistrust and her own gaunt appearance, sweeping her off her feet with a longwinded speech about her inner beauty and the bottomless pools of her eyes.
At which point, Dierdre would gag a little.
Well, thank goodness this fic doesn't take such a cliched route. Perhaps there are real life couples whose tales of love are just like a romance book, where the attraction is immediate and unquestioningly mutual, where their personalities mesh so fluidly that arguments are few and, inevitably, end with hot make-up sex. But I've personally never seen that in real life, especially in regards to my own relationship. There is no question that we love each other, but there are also vast differences in our temperaments and interests, in our beliefs and prejudices and physical preferences, and hell, even in our political standpoints. This leads to arguments, misunderstandings, bouts of stubbornness, a laundry list of hurt feelings... and yeah, angry make-up nookie. Is the pain of our relationship worth its rewards? Without a doubt. But is it always pretty or easy or even pleasant? Hell no.
Uh, I guess what I'm trying to say is this: People are messy and complex, their emotions a tangled weave of contradictions, so why should their relationships be any different? Amber was bothered by Raph's personal appearance, and even now she has a hard time contemplating her growing attraction without first ensconcing him behind the anonymity of his Nighwatcher persona. She compelled and repelled by him all at once, and seems unable to find a middle ground between the two. And Raphael is shrouded in layers of mistrust and fermented bitterness, so exquisitely aware of species differences that he can barely imagine achieving something more than friendship with a human. I also found it to be particularly compelling that he doesn't find her attractive, at least not as a whole. It's so damn nice read about someone who knows that their 'person of interest' isn't beautiful, acknowledges it as a fact, and continues to be drawn to them, anyway.
And taking into consideration their mutual stubbornness, past histories and lingering prejudices, I'm not even sure that this is going to end in a romance, or if their entire relationship will crumble like a badly constructed house of cards. Hell, I'm not even sure if they're both going to survive! And although that makes me anxious, I find the very uncertainty of it all to be absolutely awesome.
Moving on... Oh noes! Somebody swiped Amber! The kidnapping scene was very well done, I thought. We, your devoted readers, are all nice and relaxed as Amber strolls home, lulled by your descriptions of the city and the people she passes by... only to be jarred into alarm by those last two quick paragraphs. Like Amber, we barely have time to understand what's happening before she's whisked away, with only a burning cigarette to prove that she'd ever been there at all. It was nicely executed, and a good way to get your readers into the mindset of the character.
One of the things that I liked the most about the 2007 movie was the fact that Don and Mikey had jobs, which neatly explained how our boys are able to support themselves so well. You take it a step further in 'Prey,' with some of Raph's rescued victims displaying their gratitude by allowing him free-of-charge access to their stores. I quite liked that part, as well as his interaction with the Naidu brothers. Brava!
And hot damn! What a way to end the chapter! The cryptic message was as chilling as such things should be, and the lock of hair was just the icing on the cake. Loved, loved, loved it, chica!
*Grins* I could wax ecstatic all day, but in the interests of time management, I'm afraid I'll have to stop for now. You're wonderful, Tort, and don't you ever forget it! _
| varsitygeek chapter 1 . 12/4/2007
AGH! I read your author's note in the beginning and thought, "Oh, sweet! Another Raph/Amber one shot!" And then I got to the bottom of the page and realized, "No! It's a multi-chapter story! Need. Next. Chapter."
In other words, I'm really looking forward to this last Raph/Amber centric story for a while (as I'm really looking forward to your future family-centric stories).
As far as the chapter goes, I'm really liking the realistic take on Raph and Amber's relationship-particularly the way that Amber is simultaneously intrigued and repulsed by the idea. And maybe it was because of that note talking about future family-centric stories, but it felt like there was a lot more mention of Raph's brothers in this chapter than are usually in your stories, and I really like that. I like the thought that even while Raph's out doing his own thing, his brothers and family are still constantly on his mind.
Also, your descriptions of Raph make me go all fangirl-y on the inside: SQUE!
Can't wait for more!