|Reviews for Memory's Shadow|
| Koneko chapter 35 . 12/31/2016
The epilogue is probably the best portion of the story. Sess seemed, very... stuck for the most part and Kagome was extremely annoying. For some reason, the characterization in the epilogue was just perfect, if a bit overly emotion for Sess.
This was a great story, though. I read it all in a day. The only thing I would say is for ff writers to stop using romanji when it's not needed.
| Guest chapter 2 . 12/3/2016
Good on you for finishing a very long story :) Few things I’ve noticed and some feedback. I hate 1st person POV (but that's personal taste) unfortunately it was Kagome’s - who was increasingly showing signs of being annoying. Just when I was thinking that at least you’re not switching between different characters…Sesshomaru took on 1st person this chapter. You really need dividers between different POVs because in one paragraph the “I” refers to Kagome, then the next paragraph "I" suddenly refers to Sesshomaru.
And using brackets in 1st POV, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before but it looks weird to have a person thinking to herself and add her thoughts in brackets eg “Make a noise damn it! (I'm surprised I remember how to curse)”. Later you also had the 1st person “talk” to the reader (“you know what I looked like?” / “you have no idea how horrible”) which was weird. 1st person talks to oneself and it’s strange to pull in readers like that.
There are strange sentences. “And then it happened. Fate suddenly changed its course and decided to answer my wishes. Its timing was never better. Wink, wink.” What’s wink wink? I went over that sentence twice - first time completely had no idea - and can only think that perhaps since it is in 1st person narrative so is it Kagome doing the winking in sarcastic mode to herself? Which is weird…I think there were several times she’s trying to be sarcky/funny and it’s so not and she just comes off a bit strange. Strange sentences such as “With years of experience, I slid the door open and stepped outside my study.” You wish to emphasize that he had experience in opening doors? Or stepping outside his study? Both are strange.
Even if Sesshomaru was cold, he didn’t leave her in forest but brought her to his castle, so he, a lord, must’ve carried her, then had her dressed in really nice clothes but not a bit of thankfulness just “crap it’s that cold guy in the forest”. Then when he doesn’t answer to her question (who she is) her reaction is to want to bash his head in…then she gets annoyed and yells to him. Even if she’s feeling confused from the amnesia, it doesn’t excuse her basic lack of manners. And a very short temper doesn’t mean she’s strong, just that she has anger issues and this Kagome is increasingly showing herself to be pretty unappealing character - rude and a bit dumb. I’m going to stop here because she is starting to bug me (and the 1st person POV isn't helping) but suggestions for improvement below. Perhaps you may have already improved these by the end of the story, in which case, just ignore below :)
1) stick to the usual 3rd person POV used in vast majority of novels/stories - best read up on 1st and 3rd POVs if you’re not sure (there are several types of 3rd person POVs you can use). If you wish to stick to 1st POV, best study it first. 2) Drop the Japanese. By all means, use Japanese words where there is no good English equivalent (eg youkai / youki / names of people or swords) but never simply substitute Japanese words randomly in an English sentence. Even if the grammar is correct, it may not be correct contextually, culturally, or may simply not be something the character may say. Rather than trying to add in a language you're not a native speaker of in and coming up with a weird hybrid, 3) Focus on your English grammar / spellings (latter can be helped by using a word processing program which has spellcheck function - while it still requires your input to double check, it’ll catch most of your errors). Your English isn't bad but there are a number of errors so best stick to polishing up your main story language - English
| Lee chapter 5 . 11/22/2016
Senpai means older fellow student. Sensei is teacher. I suggest you learn proper English before mangling Japanese. As you obviously have spell check by your reference to the "red squiggly line", I suggest you use it for grammar as well. Good plot, very poor English skills. Don't even bother with the Japanese.
| Yamama chapter 35 . 10/4/2016
Please make a sequel even if its a short one
| Last Breath chapter 33 . 7/27/2016
I was kinda scared he was going to do something in the barrier, that I had to read with one in case of something to happen. (-_-) And I have noticed every FanFic Naraku wants Kagome has in power soul body everything.
| Last Breath chapter 33 . 7/27/2016
I was kinda scared he was going to do something in that barrier.
| Last Breath chapter 27 . 7/27/2016
Wow Sesshomaru you dog.
| Last Breath chapter 26 . 7/27/2016
I like Kikyo a lot more in this Fan Fic then the show.
| Last Breath chapter 21 . 7/27/2016
This is before I read this chapter.
I say her being a miko, when she took in the miasma and fainted/passed out her body was so damage that it created a pure barrier just above her body like a larrier of skin. Then when that happened her body must have stopped growing to heal her(like a tree in winter), so when the checked her pulse was so very weak they did not feel it so the berried her alive. Then with the barrier up for her only to heal, the barrier kinda stopped time for her meaning she did not need food, water, air, but nothing thanks to the barrier.
Now that is what I have thought since the first chapter.
| Last Breath chapter 15 . 7/21/2016
I have been balling my eyes out! This is a very very very sad chapter for girls on the TOM! I am just so glade my tears were quite.
| Last Breath chapter 14 . 7/20/2016
I bet Naraku put the body there.
| Last Breath chapter 12 . 7/20/2016
If he knew Kagome soooooooo well then why not do as Sesshomaru did, cut her and sniff then test her blood?
| Last Breath chapter 10 . 7/20/2016
I know why she was quick to drunk!
One; She is 15 (should be 15 for they defeated Naraku before she turned 16)
Two; She never had alcohol (being in the future makes illegal to drink till certain age)
Three; She is from the future (two has the same reason as three)
| Last Breath chapter 7 . 7/20/2016
Why did I feel as if that is Totosai's cow thing in disguise.
| Last Breath chapter 6 . 7/20/2016
But I want to know what she did!