Reviews for Beauty and the Beast: A Complete Trainwreck Parody
aggressively-uncool chapter 10 . 12/19/2011
LOLOLOLOLOLOL! Funniest take on B&tB I've ever read. Seriously. "She totes thinks I'm hot. She wants me." ha! Genius! From one random person to another, good jo- OMG is that Aladdin? Wait no, it's just that odd shaped tree. Make more chapters soon! 3 Morgiebean
deletedddddddddddd chapter 9 . 8/17/2011
I love the "oscar" part. sooooooooooooooooo funny!
deletedddddddddddd chapter 10 . 8/17/2011
LOL! go Chip! I love the "socially retarded monkey" part!
PurpleReader29 chapter 6 . 6/19/2011
That is the most awesome chapter in any universe or alternative dimension (I hope that covered everything). All those references and ideas were awesome. Loved the Harrison Ford, hobbits, star wars, and SG-1 especially.
Otaku Takeshi chapter 10 . 5/8/2011
I loled through the story. :D You did good with the humor and stuff. Nice job. -

(P.S. I credited you in my BatB story. That's how much I like this fanfic! -)
Miss Cullen -I wish chapter 10 . 4/17/2011
"And Cogsworth is a socially retarded monkey!"

HAHAHAHA! I love it!

It wouldn't be so funny if it wasn't true.
CrystalDragon791 chapter 10 . 4/15/2011
I don't know about Gay Puree, but I count Casablanca, Tower of Terror, and Mary Poppins among your unexplained references.

Love the noir. The atmo, the lingo, the outfits...I mean, it's the 40s. Who doesn't love the 40s?

And I knew that Chip had a mouth on him...but he's just so cute when he's angry! Like a ceramic little Chekov. _
CrystalDragon791 chapter 9 . 3/1/2011
Transformers and the Princess Bride, all in one chapter. Don't see that very often. Ooh, ooh, I know what a shillelagh is! It's an Irish club-like weapon! I would know, I just went to Ireland where they love the gingers like bumblebees love the honey! Valley girl Belle kinda gets on my nerves, but the ending scene was way cool.

Did you find a Random Fact Generator online or something? I can totally see you, Genie, and TGOTMTGP clustered around Irving's screen as you hit the button, giggle, hit the button, giggle, hit the button...

Way to put your supreme knowledge of comics on display. And yes, I think the same thing every time the suits of armor turn to look at Belle and Cogsworth says "buttresses." ;)
Rose Emeraldfay chapter 1 . 11/10/2010
It's been more than two months, I'm thinking that it's time for an update.

Two months limited relaxing time.
Rose Emeraldfay chapter 3 . 11/7/2010
lol. I'm listining to Dancing through life right now. Ah, wicked. Anyway, I liked the twilight zone refrence.

Yay. :3 And like I said, Cogsworth is for my win. When I win, he suddenly shows up for some reason. It's strange, right?
Rose Emeraldfay chapter 1 . 11/7/2010
Yay! It's David Ogdon Stiers! Otherwise known as Cogsworth, and Wiggins from BatB and Polkahontas!

I like his awesome voice. Cogsworth for the win! :3
degreenifyinggravity chapter 1 . 11/5/2010
This looks cute. I don't usually read stuff in this archive, but I think I'll come back at some point to finish this.
Rose Emeraldfay chapter 8 . 10/5/2010
*uses awesome hypnotizing powers* you will updaaaaaate...

you will updaaaaaate...

*bell walks by while lumiere and cogsworth are talking*

Lumiere: It's a girl!

Cogsworth: No, it's a walrus.

*Bell starts to run after Cogsworth while he quickly tries to run away*

Bell: I heard that "fat" joke, you oversized little pocketwatch!

Lumiere: Hey, that's one of my lines!... We're still rolling, aren't we?

*Masterpice of comedy taken from Beauty and the Beast bloopers*

I own NOTHING! Except my name, of course.
disneydork29175 chapter 8 . 9/27/2010
Em, Genie, Senor Bugsy, and random crowd start chanting.

All: Spontanous musical number. Spontanous musical number. Spontanous Musical Number! SPONTANOUS MUSICAL NUMBER!

*music vamps*

Snow White: Someday my Prince will come, Someday...

Sounds of tape being ripped out of the tape... thingy

Genie: Oh, thingy, very descriptive!

Senor Bugsy: I'd just like to say-

Em: Well you find a descriptive word to describe the... thingy.

Genie: *takes out thesarus* Well, let's see... try player, recorder... then thingy.

Em: That is... actually really good! But I can't go back and change it!

Genie: Why not?

Em: Cause then this won't make sense!

Genie and crowd: Ohhhhhh...

Em: Where were we again?

*music vamps*

Snow White: Some-

Em: Gah! I remember! And I demand that you stop, right, there!

Cogsworth: Hey! Line stealer!

Em: Oh get over it Cogsy!

Cogsy: I told you not to call me that! It lowers my self esteem...

Random crowd: Awwww...

Em: Awww... its so adowawble...

Nikki: Awwww… Can I keep him?

Cogsy: (shakes head violently) (whispered) No no no no.

Em: Sorry Nikki. He’s needed for the rest of the story…

Nikki: Awww…

Cogsy: YES!

Em: But, don’t worry… you can keep him after!

Cogsy: Uh…

Nikki: Yeah!

Em: For now, Cogsy-

Cogsy: I said don’t call me that!

Em: Fine, Cogsworth, uh, go back to the story. There shall be some pudding waiting there for you.

(Cogsworth runs back to story)

Cogsy: (O.S.) Holy shoot!

Em: And Nikki…

Nikki: I’d just like to say that some people DO care about what Cogsworth is saying, for you information! They’re called Cogettes! And we are people too!

Em: Whatever! I’m a Pyro-Fluff all the way!

Faith and Dave: YEAH! We aren’t alone!

Em: OK! When did this review turn into a B&S reunion?

Nikki: The moment I arrived.

Em: … Don’t you have monitoring to do?

Nikki: Don’t spoil my fun.

Em: *hands Nikki small gift*

Nikki: *opens gift*

Gift: Your fun is officially ruined. *explodes*

Genie: And it was so young!

Em: Would you like one?

Genie: No thank you…

Nikki: *goes back to B&S*

Senor Bugsy: Well, now that they are gone-

Faith: Gee, thanks…

Dave: I can tell when we aren’t wanted!

(Both stay exactly where they are)

Genie: Bibbity Bobbity BOO!

(Faith and Dave disappear in a puff of smoke)

Random Crowd: Ooooo…

Em: Genie! Where did you send them?

Genie: To Pleasantville!

Em: Oh… OK!

Senor Bugsy: Can I just say that-

Em: Anywho! Snow, get your butt out of here. No one really likes you.

Genie: And your prince has girly lips!

Random crowd of chicks: EWWWWWWWWW!

Snow looks down all dejected like. It's actually quite saddening.

Em: Awww…

Random Crowd: …

Snow: *is P.O.’d* *sarcastically* You’re all very nice people…

Em: Yeah, we like to think of ourselves as so!

Snow: *walks back to her own fandom*

Em: Well now I don’t remember what the review was about in the first place!

Random Objects: Be our guest, be our guest, our command is your request, it’s been years since we’ve had anybody here, and we’re obsessed!

Em: *sings along* With your meal, with your ease, yes indeed, we aim to please…

(Random Objects and Em finish song, complete with laser light show and fireworks by Genie)

Em: I remember! So… spontaneous musical number? Cause if you don’t do it *looks around then back to Authoress sadly* Who will...?

Senor Bugsy: *really fast and rushed like* And by the way I’d just like to thank you for dedicating the last chapter to me! *gasps* YES! *sees Em, Genie, and Random Crowd staring at her weirdly* What? I’d like to see you try to get a word in with her always around! She never shuts up!

Genie: She isn’t wrong you know…

Em: *growls* Thank you Genie…

Genie: Hey! I’m neutral!

Em: Like Switzerland? *Genie nods* Then why did you agree with her?

Genie: Uh… (To objects) Help me out here!

Random Objects: Be our guest, be our guest, put our service to the test…

(Em, of course, joins in)

(Everyone sings the song)

(Ooo! Here comes the big ending!)

All: Be our guest! Please, be our GUEST!

~Em Cabot (Sorry, this review just snowballed out of control!)
Amy Rose chapter 8 . 8/3/2010
Wow! This is probubly one of the funnest things i've ever read on the internet! Have you ever considered being a professional comedian? I didn't really get the part about Gaston's "bar" scene though. Although, thats probubly because i had no clue who the heack most of the people were... Anyway, Keep on poastin'! Hope to see more halarious and somewhat random banter from one of my faverite movies/plays! ) (ps. if you ever run out of ideas for new characters to write about, im sure Sonic the Hedgehog would be a good choice.;)) See ya later, and happy writeing!
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