|Reviews for The Walls Between|
| alive by grace chapter 14 . 6/29/2015
Oh, wow, I'm so glad I stumbled upon this! I feel that so many fanfiction writers either mess up the essence of Aslan's character or pass over him, and so miss the chance to write the most epic and moving scenes and give deep and wonderful meaning to their stories. But you got it. Using an original and sympathetic character, you drew us to look at God's overwhelming mercy and love.
Definitely going on my favorites list. Heck, I think this is my favorite story in the entire fandom.
| Love and Rock Music chapter 14 . 5/19/2009
To be totally honest, this felt a bit anticlimactic. I wanted a scene where Rith was reunited with the Wardrobe, and met the rest of the Seven Friends! But this was a good story, and I'm liked it very much. And did I ever mention that Rith was a very excellent name?
" 'Sh,' his mother said, with a twinkle in her eye. 'You've said all there is to say. Aslan.' " -Very sweet line.
| Love and Rock Music chapter 13 . 5/19/2009
Okay, the first thing I thought reading was, Rith got hit by a bus and ended up in Aslan's Country.
But this chapter was very good. Writing dialogue for Aslan is never easy, and here you pulled it off with considerable grace. Interesting that Aslan would ask Rith to die for him, though. Just the phrasing. Like, kings and queens have died in his name, but usually for a cause like freeing Narnia. Dying just to die - I'm curious to see where you're going with this.
I am glad that Rith got his resolution, and that he's no longer thinking of himself as "Rhys". The sequence with Aslan felt very old-school fan fiction. (I say that because of your note about Susan/Caspian a few chapters back.) This sort of scene was very common in the Narnia fan fiction of a few years ago. You know, back when there was less of the Sue-infestation and more good ol' stuff.
| Love and Rock Music chapter 12 . 5/19/2009
Hmm. I can't help but think Rith would have a harder time trusting the boys that just immediately accepting Peter's words. Or that he'd be more interested in how they came to defeat the Witch. But this chapter was good in essentials, though with all his bitterness, I'm beginning not to like Rith.
| Love and Rock Music chapter 11 . 5/19/2009
Well now, I'm not at all sure how I feel about this chapter. Such a jump! I do like that Rith dodged the draft and assumed a new identity, and that as the years have gone by, has just forgotten his old self. Of course I can't help bringing up Susan, even if that wasn't your intention. Being in a place long enough causes one to forget the truth, it's as simple as that. But having "Rhys" become thoroughly British is even more tragic, I think, because unlike Susan, he didn't start out that way.
The sudden appearance of Peter and Edmund was a bit odd. Time feels funny in this story, and how old must Rith be now, if he carved the Wardrobe when the Professor was young? I did think the lead up to "You, Rith, have a Narnian look about you" was very affecting. I also think it creates an interesting dynamic to have Peter find Rith, because Rith was before their time and would know none of the stories of the Golden Age.
And where did Peter get that ring?
| Love and Rock Music chapter 10 . 5/19/2009
Eh, I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. It's a bit disjointed an unclear, and I didn't like the sudden abandonment of the storyline with the Wardrobe. How much time has gone by since then? Wasn't Rith only fourteen at last count? And I know you mentioned earlier that Rith had a few friends, but the sudden appearance of so many felt jarring to where the story was going. Plus, how was Rith drafted to begin with? Technically he's an illegal alien. Like Jude in Across the Universe, he can't get drafted, because he's not a citizen.
I did like hearing a bit about how that last desperate battle started, and having Rith unwilling to fight because he lost his honor was interesting.
| Love and Rock Music chapter 9 . 5/19/2009
Ooh, very good! The description of Rith's obsession with finishing the wardrobe was excellent. Still loving that wood-sense, and how connected he is to his work and reliving his Narnian memories. Last chapter I was really wondering the value of new character Dave, but here I saw what a gift his character was. He brings a new perspective of Rith - young, fresh, new. I loved this passage: "Then Rith looked away, and picked up a tool thoughtfully, and used his strange speech, which Dave had only heard rarely and on abnormal occasions. And he said he was remembering, and Dave was curious and could not help timidly asking what exactly Rith was recalling." -Very good, especially the bit about his strange speech.
Will Rith meet the professor? I dearly hope it. That last bit - being abandoned twice - was awful.
| Love and Rock Music chapter 8 . 5/19/2009
Fabulous. A total one-eighty from that terrible ending last chapter.
Rith's wood-sense is one of the things I really love about this story. (It really is so unique! Never seen anything like it in the rest of fandom.) The reaction to the apple tree wood was fantastic. First, the smell - and the feel! The writing here really captures the senses.
"Rith knew what he felt, yet he was almost certain that his senses were betraying him.
What was in this wood, what had been in this tree, that the life of Narnia flowed in its veins?"
So good! Calling up all of Rith's memories - the good and wonderful, but also the bad. I loved the coldness of the moment where Rith also remembers the night the Tree of Protection fell. Rith remembering Aslan was also well done.
The one thing I didn't like was that Rith believed the goodness of music or heroes or love didn't exist in England. Of course, being Narnian, he is a special case, but I don't like the implications. In years of living here he didn't find one instance? Then again, maybe his character wasn't looking for it. Still. I can't help but consider the audience, and what the tweeny fangirls might gather from that.
| Love and Rock Music chapter 7 . 5/19/2009
This chapter definitely returned to the roots. Having Rith ponder his own fate, his lost family, and the way he had dashed the virtues of a prince early in the story - all very well done. I like the as the years have passed, Rith has become resentful of this world and its "wonders". He called it "dead", which I found an interesting twist on our Seven Friends, who have always held that Narnia is more real and more alive than England. And I loved that he admitted he was starting to forget a bit.
When the talk of God came up, I was surprised to scroll and find Spiritual listed as a genre. I usually tend to stay away from such stories, but I'm already knee-deep here. Plus I like this story too much to stop reading. In any case, I enjoyed Rith's bitter attitude and found it interesting that Aslan was not mentioned during this chapter.
| Love and Rock Music chapter 6 . 5/19/2009
Hmm, now! I was wondering about that ring. But this is an interesting twist! Aslan's doing, perhaps? It seems it wasn't chance that Rith landed there after all! Quite the turnaround.
And Mr. Remfrey calling his wife 'Mrs. Remfrey' was so Jane Austen!
| Love and Rock Music chapter 5 . 5/19/2009
That was such an adorable moment! Rith being enchanted by a truck, of all things. Well done.
I do like that we've continued the theme with Rith and trees - I liked that he compared Crighton to an Oak. Having him work in a cabinet shop learning the trade of woodwork is lovely. Especially well done is that the reader never forgets that Rith's identity, first and foremost, is a Prince and Knight of Narnia. This is accomplished through small bits of mention here and there. "He supposed that now he appreciated more what the family's few servants had done for him, but he knew that he was only doing this because of rather extraordinary circumstances." -I love that you can feel Rith's personality in this one line.
| Love and Rock Music chapter 4 . 5/19/2009
This chapter was very good, especially considering the amount of actual dialogue. You're doing an excellent job of handling things from Rith's outsider point of view - I love how he has trouble with accents and keeps comparing things to Narnian legends. The Remfreys assuming he was an uneducated Northerner was fantastic. I'm also loving the pace here. You keep the story focused on our main character, and didn't spend too much time on the Remfreys and their story; only enough mention for me to like them, and not resent them as an unnecessary subplot.
The further I go, the more I forget that Rith is actually an OC. He's wonderfully developed. Well done!
| Love and Rock Music chapter 3 . 5/19/2009
Poor Rith! Surely someone will figure out that he talks like an old Shakespearian. And getting rid of his signet ring! I understand why he did it, but I wish he hadn't. Also, I loved that the reason he helped the dog was for the memory of those Dogs who had been his friends.
This is getting interesting. I haven't seen many stories in which Narnians get to England, and this is quite good. The only comparable piece I know of is The Green Gateway by KittandChips, in which Caspian, Trumpkin and Drinian get into London under extremely different circumstances.
Can't wait for more!
| Love and Rock Music chapter 2 . 5/19/2009
Ohoo, intrigue! I love the idea that Rith, as a descendant of Frank, had inherited a wood-sense from his dryad and wood-god ancestors. And it was done so well, too! I love this line especially: "They would not wander freely in this inclement weather, but his ancestors were their kin and for this and his position as Narnian royalty, they would aid him." You've definitely got a gift for phrasing here - I also liked the way the castle drew him "like a moth to candlelight". Very good! "Dead trees" and the comparison of heart and hand were awesome. I don't know if you've ever read the Pellinor books by Allison Croggon, but bits of this chapter reminded me of Hem's earth sense.
| Love and Rock Music chapter 1 . 5/19/2009
Wow! What a start! This is very good, and has some really interesting themes that aren't often seen in Narnia fan fiction. "The weight of his choice crashed down on his chest, crushing him ever closer to the coming ground. He had chosen to take his own life; he had abandoned his vows to King and country; he was no Knight." -Can I just say how awesome that is? The fear of death, Rith's resentment at sacrificing his life for the crown/nothing, and his thoughts about living on through glorious songs and stories were all very well done. So looking forward to more.
It's overkill, but I had to pull this one as well:
"But there would be no songs; not now, not for a very long time, maybe not ever again. No one would remember him; Jadis would make sure his family, his line, did not survive. Rith would be the last of King Frank's descendants, and when he died there would be no more Sons of Adam left to rule Narnia. Instead there would be a Queen with a heart of ice." -Such an incredible passage; I haven't seen anything this good in a really long time.