|Reviews for Slip Ups|
| Greyhound Master chapter 3 . 1/6/2008
Now you have done something that I don't see many authors do. You have given a reason why Susan becomes materialistic by book 7. I mean it's small (and perhaps my imagination) but by putting this paragraph in -shortened for obvious reasons-
"Susan told herself that this time she wouldn’t beat around the bush. This time she would grow up like the other girls, but always be one step ahead ... She would establish her place in the social hierarchy...the closest thing she could get to being Queen."
you have planted the seed that explains why Susan is who she is. I can see now how she took the innocent idea of being Narnia's Queen in England to a disgusting obsessed with growing up. I guess in her own way she feels that growing up faster makes her closer to Narnia when she was a queen. However, over time (and desperation of not going back to her true land) she loses why Narnia made her such a great person. It wasn't being an adult it was being herself. I guess in desperation for what she had Susan was willing to go to any lengths to be that adult again, even if it was changing her for the worse. I feel it's a very canon reason why Susan could have turned away from Narnia. Also the hesiatation of being the center of attention at the end of the chapter gives a hope that even though she is going to lose herself over time, truly under all that fakeness, the Narnian Queen is still there.
Hopefully I didn't confuse you with my thoughts; it's just I wanted to put them down before I forgot. I think they make sense, if not I'll be happy to elaborate.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
| m-oquinn chapter 3 . 1/6/2008
Lovely, I really should address each chapter individually but I am not even supposed to be on here right now (well, I'm procrastinating setting up a database for my husband, what can I say?) So I will simple state that so far Edmund's has been my favorite and I am eagerly looking forward to Lucy's.
Please don't feel as though I am slighting Susan’s lovely chapter or Peter's magnificent ::grins:: one. It was the horse and his (Edmund's) pain that drew me.
| Chocolatecoveredespressobean chapter 3 . 1/6/2008
I was listening to "The Battle" in the Narnia soundtrack and it perfectly suited this chapter, with Susan's inner battle, etcetera. It was another very good chapter, however, I would have reflected on Susan's "romantic life" in Narnia, just as a bonus; not like Rabadash, but perhaps an OC, or whoever people seem to pair Susan up with. One of my favorite parts was when Susan led Trebour in the dance rather than he lead her, and he made mistakes.
Anyways, great chapter, and I look forward to Lucy's!
| Greyhound Master chapter 2 . 1/3/2008
I really love the concept of these drabbles. I feel that the Pevensie's would have issues re-adjusting to regular life and I'm really glad someone is exploring those ideas.
I like the two subject matters you picked for each Peter and Edmund. Edmund especially since he is so much younger, the knowledge he holds usually is more surprising when it's expertly being shown to others in England.
Best of luck to you! Hope to see more soon!
| pisiform chapter 2 . 12/29/2007
I like this I'm interested how you'll do susan and Lucy. Also hope you take it past oneshots.
| lafilledufeu chapter 2 . 12/26/2007
This is fantastic. I've never read anything this good about after they've gotten back, so I really hope you continue!
| sunshine88 chapter 2 . 12/26/2007
All right, 4 things;
1:Peter and Edmund are my favorites of the 4 Pevinsies, so thank you for doing them first.
2:The fic about Peter was really good.
3:The fic about Edmund was better.
4:As far as horses go you didn't make any mistakes that I noticed.
| xxbreuddwydioxz chapter 2 . 12/21/2007
Yep...reviewing this one now. I don't know why...but i think i preferred the first one. myb its just cuz i dnt like edmund. dunno. this one was still good, though it had a more depressing ending.
| xxbreuddwydioxz chapter 1 . 12/21/2007
I'm under a threat to review...so i'm reviewing *yippee* Umm..let's see...it was good - i liked it, especially the last couple of lines (made me laugh).
| Jemma-Jo chapter 2 . 12/20/2007
That was really nice. I think you're right, that really fit Edmunds charecter. The horse stuff was okay as well. I ride and nothing horribly wrong jumped out at me, so I think you're safe there. I'm really looking forward to the next chapters, but how are you going to write Susans chapter if she's forgotten already?
| WickedWitchoftheSE chapter 2 . 12/19/2007
aw this is an adorable idea I can't wait for more of them! Going on my story alert list!
| killing u with umbrellas chapter 2 . 12/19/2007
i love it. plz update soon.
| JediMan chapter 2 . 12/19/2007
I've seen many written with this storyline, but none like this. I yearn for more. I always thought of Edmund as the Tactician, and Judge while Peter being on the field fighting, and Riding. Another thing to remember, is Stratagem is a war, like organizing a campaign, Tactics, is the way to carry out a battle.
| fledge chapter 2 . 12/18/2007
Another great piece that more than equals the first part. "them knights", eh? Must have given Ed a real stab. And those gas masks are a nice touch, too - if nice is a word you can use together with gas masks. Anyway, as opposed to Peter (and Susan), Edmund has still got hope to be going back to Narnia some day, so in a way things are easier for him, on the other hand more tantalising, of course. Extremely well written - you should get a medal or something for still holding up grammar and spelling in this era of the text message syndrome. Please let's have Susan's piece next, she's my favourite character - and I believe it will be hardes for her to bear it all...
| Chocolatecoveredespressobean chapter 2 . 12/18/2007
I have to say that I like this chapter a lot more than the other one, but not in a bad way! Edmund is a person that would do exactly this, but you said that he didn't share much with his brother. I believe that after his encounter with the White Witch, he would share more with Peter seeing as he was sort of reformed. Instead he's still sort of distant and irritable; at least, that's the vibe I got. However, you showed perfectly how he would probably have a harder time adjusting to life back in England after he was a king in Narnia. He tried to stay as close as he could so he wouldn't forget. Anyways, I really look forward to the next chapter! Good work!